How to Control the World Around Us (and Our Thoughts)

Aka media, social media, toxic people, and anyone or anything that doesn’t do you any good

Technology, the internet, and social media have revolutionized the world, and there is no turning back.

As a 40-year-old who grew up with no social media and no smartphones, I still have a dusty box full of handwritten letters. I have seen the ways technology changed how we live, learn, and love.

Everywhere I turn I hear things like:

Dating apps are a no man’s land.

People are addicted to their phones, and it destroys relationships.

What’s wrong with people sending unsolicited images?

Cyberbullying and petty arguments, racists, sexists, and political and controversial conversations get really ugly.

Online scams are rampant.

Don’t get me started on fake profiles, catfish, and ghosting.

Social media is full of people showing off unrealistic lives and is linked to anxiety and depression.

Social media is toxic to your mental health.

Online shopping is out of control, and non-sustainable, and people are in debt.

We are being bombarded with ads. I can’t even use the calculator on my phone without seeing an ad.

Ops! I wanted to write a few examples, but there are so many that the list kept writing itself.

Anyway, you get the point.

I must admit I did fall prey to some of these pitfalls. Who hasn’t?

Then, the other day, I had the pleasure of blocking, unfriending, unfollowing, and deleting someone’s number. Yes, all the same dude.

Let me tell ya, the feeling is pure bliss.

And it reminded me of this story.

Once upon a time, a man was distraught by his thoughts.

Negative and ugly thoughts roamed his mind, and it gave him no peace.

Troubled, the man went to consult a sage.

How can I control my thoughts?

The sage replied,

I know the right person to teach you this lesson. Go to him and ask him that exact question.

The man set out to find this man who would finally help him relieve his anguish. The journey was long and cold, but the man was determined to find peace to his soul.

Lastly, he reached the man’s house. A modest dwelling in the outskirts of the village.

His feet ached, his body shivered, but he gathered his strength and knocked on the door.

No answer.

He waited, knocked again, no answer.

The battered man waited all day. Knocked and knocked, but nothing.

Nobody came to the door. He didn’t see no man. His angst rang louder in his mind.

Devastated, he made the journey back to the sage.

I don’t understand. You told me this man would teach me how to control my thoughts? But he didn’t even open his door.

The sage smiled knowingly,

My son. This is your lesson. When you don’t want someone in your house, you don’t open the door.

Your mind is your house. You live there with your thoughts. If you don’t want to have negative thoughts, you must protect your mind. Do not let it be open to any stranger to step in.

So here I am to remind you that…

You have control over your life.

Not total control, but you have some control.

You can decide what comes into your mind, what you consume, watch, listen and buy, who you follow, befriend, and date.

You can keep the door shut.

In modern day lay terms, it means:

• If you want to save money and encourage sustainability, you can remove all the shopping apps on your phone.
• If you are flooded with unwanted emails, you can unsubscribe to accounts and block the sender who do no add value to you.
• If following “influencers” on Instagram is not making you happier, unfollow them. Better yet, delete Instagram from your phone.
• If reading the news are too upsetting and depressing, avoid reading it. If something important comes up, you will hear about it.
• If dating apps are not connecting you to potential partners, remove the app and go out and meet new people.
• If someone is stalking, being rude, disrespectful, wasting your time, or playing with your feelings — get ready for this: unfollow, unfriend, block, and delete their contact.

Keep your door shut. Be deliberate about who crosses its threshold.

Be mindful who and what you let into your mind, and you will have more happy thoughts and increased control over your emotions and life.