How To Conquer Emotional Resistance, Imposter Syndrome, Limiting Beliefs And Fear (Barbell #14)
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When there is no friction between you and the desired activity, only doubts and fear remain the only barrier. You all know the trembling hollowness, hyperventilation, and sweat.
Emotional resistance (imposter syndrome, limiting beliefs, and fear) is common among people. It is a product of evolution, intended to protect you. However, to accomplish extraordinary results, you have to do extraordinary things that go beyond the confined space designated by evolution.
Below are four strategies to still move forward and do what you desire.
Define, expect and love the worst possible outcome
Modern psychology recommends a fear-setting exercise to acknowledge your signals and still move forward.
First, you write down (in your note-taking app) in vivid detail what the worst possible outcome looks like (like getting thrown out to the street with everyone ridiculing you). Second, you imagine possible ways to prevent it from occurring. Third, imagine the steps you can take if you find yourself in this position.
By making the conditions for failure explicit, it is no longer vague. You will find out that you are much more capable of handling reality than your monkey mind. The act of writing it down also helps, as Cognitive Behavior Therapy has proven.
To go one step further, you can imagine the benefits of the worst-case scenario. Know that you will gain nonetheless and be proud no matter what happens. By embracing this loving attitude towards what is coming, you become antifragile and unstoppable.
Most of all, you can finally relax, which is the ultimate key to success in the present. Everything better than the worst possible outcome is a bonus.
Realize you do not need to believe yourself, just take action
There exists the common fallacy to have a magnified belief before mustering action, which is not true.
Instead, your actions define your beliefs. And it is much easier to take unconditional action than change your beliefs on the spot.
Break down the uncomfortable action into small components and go through either one. This way, you will not be intimidated by it and get into momentum before realizing it. The key is to make the next step clearly laid out to you at all times.
As long as you keep trying and tinkering, whatever outcome happens will be good. Nothing will make you learn faster than just doing it. Your beliefs will follow suit from the evidence of your actions.
Plus that you can repeat and do it again.
Trust yourself in the present moment
The future and past do not exist, only the now. As long as you are open to it, you will figure everything out on the fly.
In The Power Of Now, author Eckhart Tolle argues from multiple angles that no external outcome will give you salvation. The good news is that you already have what you are looking for inside you, in the now.
Therefore, always focus on tapping into the present moment. Not only will you feel the best you ever have felt, but it will solve your outward challenges too, since you will see all your current options and adjust. Thus, you do not need to prove anything since you already have won from the start.
Anticipate the next thought, feel your inner body at all times, integrate your executive and intuitive mind, and you will already feel the paradise that no one can take away from you. It is as free and ubiquitous as it can get.
Celebrate the uncomfortable feeling — it is a signal of doing great work
According to Seth Godin, best-selling author of 19 books, imposter syndrome and other signs of resistance is the sign of doing great work and being on the right path. In The War of Art, Steven Pressfield argues the same, that the pros show up despite how they feel.
Therefore, you should celebrate the vulnerable feeling of hollowness, shakiness, and surrender. Be extremely happy when it occurs because you are challenging yourself enough. Think of it as the muscle burn in the gym. Celebrate it!
To make “failures” even more motivating, track them each day with an intended outcome of achieving a certain number of failures each day. Successful people like Derek Sivers, Ramit Sethi, and Benny Lewis attribute their success to their pursuit of fears. I have written how you do it in practice here.
Conclusion
To quote the big stoic and boss Seneca:
“We suffer more in imagination than in reality.“
Therefore, you have two options. Either drop your imagination altogether and just act. Or embrace, love the negative aspects, and still move forward. Whatever you choose will enable you to push past the emotional resistance as if it did not exist before and become truly unstoppable.
The next post will tie up everything we have learned about the Barbell System, with some frequently asked questions.
If you like this article series, you will enjoy the full e-book (a full expansion on how to use the Barbell System in your daily life). Click here to learn more.
Originally published on my blog The Total Living