How to Confront a Bully with a Personality Mask
Comedy and Drama
The Greeks of antiquity devised two types of masks for actors, the comedy and the tragedy, inspired from the muses Thalia and Melpomene[1]. Greek theaters were open-air amphitheaters where the spectator was at a distance from the actors, so masks were used to enhance the actors’ emotions from a distance.
China
Chinese opera has many more masks[2]:”
· The red mask symbolizes loyalty, courage, bravery, sincerity and righteousness.
· The black mask symbolizes firmness and honesty, or temerity.
· The white mask symbolizes mistrust and cunning.
· The yellow mask symbolizes ferocity and ambition.
· The green mask symbolizes bravery, brutality, despotism, vehemence and irascibility.
· The blue mask symbolizes ferocity and cunning.
· The purple mask characterizes righteousness and sophistication.”
Clearly, there is a much greater variety of emotions than the Greek masks.
Politicians and Professionals
China’s president, Xi Jinping, keeps the same public facial expression, regardless of the type of meeting he attends. He puts on the same facial expression to hide his emotions. Undoubtedly, many politicians, diplomats and professionals do the same.
Personality Masks
A personality mask is the covering-up of our genuine appearance, mannerisms and speech.
Psychologists[3] have identified eleven types to personality masks:
· The martyr or victim mask
· The bully mask
· The humor (clown) mask
· The calm mask
· The overachieving mask
· The self-bashing (self-deprecator) mask
· The avoidant mask
· The controlling mask
· The people-pleasing mask
· The socialize mask
· The conformist mask
Unlike theatrical masks, personality masks are exhibited by words, facial expressions, body language and actions. Generally, they’re a result of a self-defense mechanism, not of a deliberate expression. Often they are a result of a psychological disorder found in psychopaths and sociopaths.
How to Detect a Personality Mask
It is useful to identify people that use a mask to attempt to hide their mental health symptom[4]. Be careful, more often than not the masking will be a weakness, not an illness. These personalities can be detected by emotional exhaustion[5], negative feelings, unusual social behaviors and over-compensation.
Every day Masks
There are situations where a normal person hides his true emotions, such as a Thanksgiving dinner where one of the guests is annoying[6]; you may use a calm mask in this situation. Another time, a child may have a tantrum; it is important to assert your authority, though it might not be natural for you to do so; in that case, a controlling mask is appropriate. If a traffic officer issues you a traffic ticket, you may try to portray yourself as a victim. If a bully tries to intimidate you, you might counter with a humor mask; it worked for me. Bullies lack a sense of humor!
[1] https://study.com/academy/lesson/greek-muses-of-tragedy-comedy-melpomene-thalia.html#:~:text=Comedy%20and%20Tragedy&text=These%20masks%2C%20a%20symbol%20of,represented%20by%20the%20smiling%20face.
[2] https://interactchina.wordpress.com/2018/07/12/masks-of-peking-opera-representations-and-connotations/
[3] https://psychcentral.com/health/the-masks-we-wear#masking-examples
[4] https://www.verywellmind.com/what-is-masking-in-mental-health-6944532
[5] https://thedawnrehab.com/blog/understanding-personality-masks/