How to come out successfully from setbacks without having to stress yourself

The five simple ways to do it

You are worried! Yes, I know. Aren’t you?

You are worried because of the setbacks that you are facing in your life.

And listening to the advice from these gurus and applying them, you cannot still seem to solve those problems.

I know how it feels because we all go through shit in this life.

Because it’s a world where things happen, and with the majority of the things that happen, most of the times, they do not come from us, and we are not responsible for them.

But whether we are responsible or not, we must deal with them because that is what this life is all about.

A series of problems to be dealt with.

And in dealing with these problems, our ways of how we go about them are what makes us successful or unsuccessful at the end of the day.

So here are a few simple ways to go about those problems without beating yourself up.

Acceptance — Hold yourself responsible for the setback.

Acceptance of what has happened is the first step to overcoming the consequences of any misfortune — William James

The force and the pressure that come with obstacles and setbacks are first of all calmed when you accept it and hold yourselves responsible for it.

When you do this, the problem doesn’t take a toll on you. It rather gives you power over the problem.

In that, whenever an individual is in a bad situation, and they fail to take responsibility for it, whether it was their fault or not, the power to overcome that situation is taken away from them. And having to solve a problem where the power to do that is taken away, what happens?

You are not likely to be able to do what is required to overcome the situation.

It is therefore imperative to accept responsibility for the problem and be in control so that you can overcome it.

Forgiveness — Release the resentment about the setback

The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong — Mahatma Gandhi

To solve every problem on the face of the planet demands clarity and to have that means letting go of whoever and whatever was the cause — being it you or someone else.

The reason! Whenever we are in an unpleasant situation, the emotions that come with it are mostly unpleasant — anger, worry, fear, hatred etc.

To solve a problem with such emotions is unhelpful because, at that moment, the creative centres of the brain are shut down, making it impossible to think clearly.

It would require calmness internally and mental clarity. And to have that would demand letting go of every resentment within, and that can be done through forgiveness.

Give positive meaning — See the setback as an opportunity to grow.

Life is all about perception. Positive versus negative. Whichever you choose will affect and more than likely reflect your outcomes — Sonya Teclai

In the Chinese language crisis means two tings — Problem or opportunity.

This, however, gives you the chance to make something out of the setback.

Problem or Opportunity?

The choice you make will determine your outcome. Whether you are going to be miserable or make something beneficial from the setback.

By choice, people ask empowering or disempowering questions, and they get the answers to go about the problem.

And if you want to get that setback off your neck, it would be great to see it as an opportunity and ask empowering questions such as — what can I do with this, to move forward or even be better? What lessons has this problem come to teach me? What were my mistakes? How can I avoid a recurrence? Etc.

And by the answers you will get, you know where you are heading towards.

Apply your will — Decide to get out.

The greatest human strength is will. How we use this will determine our outcomes in life. And same it is with setbacks.

In trying to get out of a setback, therefore, would demand you apply your will.

Applying the will call for a decision to overcome the situation instead of the situation overcoming you and doing what it takes.

And most of the times, people’s inability to apply this strength in them is what leaves them paralysed by problems. But that is not you! I know. You want to come out of the situation. And the only way is to decide to get out. Period!

Action — Put in the work to overcome the situation

Since what makes the difference between people who overcome their life’s challenges and circumstances and people who don’t, is the action they take and don’t take, you have to act to overcome your situation after everything.

In doing this, you want to strategise and plan so that you don’t end up taking any action but the right action that will see you through at the end of the day.

Action when taking rightly leads to accomplishment, and it boosts your confidence and motivation of overcoming the bad situation; likewise, when taking wrongly, the effect is not encouraging.

You, therefore, want to be mindful and get things done right and come out of the setback successfully.

So on your face now, you have it. The five easy steps to overcome every obstacle in life. Are you going to apply them and get out of that unpleasant situation or you will neglect them and continue to be miserable?

The ball is in your court…