How to Choose The 5% of Your Real Friends Wisely

It’s a little tricky, but not impossible.

95% percent of your “friends” are acquaintances.

The hardest part of your relationship journey is finding friends that actually have your best interest at heart. Finding friends who aren’t there to use you for something you have. Friends that are supportive of your decisions.

I had a hard time with acquaintances in high school.

I used to be terrified of sitting at the lunch table by myself. I clung to a group of friends who didn’t give a rat’s ass about me. All they cared about was receiving a pat on the back and a shoulder to cry on when things weren’t going their way.

It wasn’t a 50/50 friendship.

After I did some soul-searching, I found a group of friends that genuinely care about me and want to see me succeed in every facet of life. Here’s how I chose the people who are in my circle now.

I didn’t seek out anyone — I let everything play out on its own.

This is a big misconception about friendship I want to squash.

All of my close friends I have now weren’t people I purposely sought out. We didn’t walk up to each other and ask a corny icebreaker question. Everything started out as a coincidence.

For example, one of my friends and I keep forgetting how we met. This isn’t because we don’t care about our friendship, it’s because we feel like we’ve been friends forever. Our friendship started off organic.

We took the same Japanese class; we went to a study session for the class; we realized we were in the same scholarship program and everything’s history from there.

We didn’t scour the globe asking people random questions aspiring to be friends one day.

Your real friends will already have some type of similar experience with you. Either you’ll be in the same class or you’ll do similar activities. The acquaintances won’t care about that stuff.

Their political views have to align with yours.

Uggh.

I know, I’m busting out the politics shpeal. But it’s so crucial in this day and age to have similar political views with your friends. The American political system is very polarized now.

I’m not saying they need to have the exact same political views as you, but the friendship would go a lot easier if they were at least similar.

But hey, I know some millennials and older generations aren’t too keen on this. They’d rather go back to a simpler time when Trump wasn’t president and there weren’t a bunch of Proud Boys and Black Lives Matter protestors running around the city.

That’s unrealistic paps.

We’re in an era right now where you have to choose. I had to leave my whole clique in high school because they were a bunch of sneering racists! It doesn’t make sense for a Black person to hang around a bunch of white people who make jokes about the K.K.K. killing Black people.

Your real friends will have the same political stance as you. Even if they disagree on something, they’ll try and educate themselves on it. Acquaintances are ignorant and will never listen.

They need to have a clear purpose in their life or have something going for them.

I know this sounds counterintuitive because this is how acquaintances find their “friends”. That’s why it’s crucial to do this after you find someone who has the same political views and enjoys similar things.

The problem with acquaintances is they look for the clout first and foremost.

My friends and I began talking about our goals in life after we found out we have the same interests and political views. One of my friends will be swimming in moola later on because she’s on her way to becoming a chemical engineer. If I wanted to, I could tough it out as her acquaintance and beg for an exuberant dinner reservation.

I don’t care about that shit.

She’s like a little sister to me. We were in the same scholarship program as well and we bonded after going on a trip together. We slept in the same hotel room and we watched anime all night.

I never even found out she was doing great financially until after that.

But I can’t lie, it is admirable when someone has that much going for them. You don’t want to be friends with someone who has zero sense of direction flailing in the wind.

Even if they aren’t making that much money, they can have other great assets like their intellect.

Real friends have something going for them in their life that you can feed off. Not in a negative way. You use it as fuel to chase your own dreams.

Final Thoughts

It’s crucial to choose your 5% wisely.

You don’t want those acquaintances to wiggle their way into your life. They’re parasites that only want you to benefit them. Find real friends who like the same activities as you, have the same political views as you, and have something going for their lives.

That’s how you spot a fake.

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