How to Check your Faith Barometer
At the ninth hour, the sun will come out and at the perfect time. Make encouragement your mantle and not discouragement, hope and not hopeless, faith and not faithless
How God’s Word is true and forthcoming, regardless of the present outlook. The sun will come out tomorrow if you stay the journey and the clouds will disappear!
In Genesis 17 when Abram was ninety-nine years old, God declared his new name: “Abraham” — “a father of many nations”, and gave him the covenant of circumcision. God gave Sarai the new name “Sarah”, and blessed her. … Sarah soon became pregnant and bore a son to Abraham, at the very time which had been spoken.
When God told Abraham that he would bore a child in his old age, he didn’t doubt God’s word but he must have had a little question pertaining to his age and Sarah just laugh being up in age herself. I can identify with Sarah.
Mostly everyone is born with a dream, goals and desires. Where they come from, they are innate. Many may act on their dreams while others may fear to act. Either option is a journey.
Ever since I was a little girl about four years old, I have always desired to be on television. Wasn’t sure how that would happen but nevertheless the dream remain throughout high school. Being very shy prohibited me from participating in events at church and school.
After high school in pursuit of my dream, I moved to New York to become and actress. Yet shy but determined somehow to make it all happen. Took acting classes, got my headshot and pursued auditions. Auditioned for my first play, was cast into the lead role and while happy was terrified of having a lead role therefore I decline the role for a much lesser visible role. The role was opposite the director of the play who went on to become a successful actor on Broadway. This I forever regretted having that connection and the visibility my career would or could have gained. Even though, my lesser role garnered me much accolade after the performances, I regret doing the lead role, nevertheless.
Fast forward many years, have performed extensively in theater, some television, film and commercials but none gave me the visibility that I dreamed, hoped and worked so hard to acquire. Along this journey were many life’s issues that sidetracked my pursuits, but I continued as much as was possible until I could continue full speed ahead.
Have been on this acting road for a very long time and it looks like my day in the sun is no where near! Not sure if I should keep walking or sit down become a doubting Thomas or stand fast like Abraham. Perhaps, being like Sarah who thought it impossible to conceive a child in her old age could accurately describe me at various moments! Sarah and Abraham indeed did become the mother and father of many nations through Issac, their biological son, during their ripe old age of Abraham being 99 years old and Sarah, equally up in age. This story aids me to keep hope alive.
I remember when I left New York for Los Angeles, and an associate of mine’s advised that Hollywood like actors very, very young, like in their early twenties and younger. Anyone older is considered a non-interest. I dismissed his thought and believed that my talent would open the doors for me along with my faith.
Fast forward to Los Angeles arrived and begun the journey to pursue my dream. It has now been twenty years and my day in the sun is yet behind the cloud. During my pursuits, I have discovered the the truth of what had been told to me earlier that Hollywood prefers the young. In Hollywood if you are over twenty, you are outdated and at 40 almost put out to pasture unless you have a name or some popularity!
In the recent few years, actors of colors have been breaking down barriers for others to tread. While I have been praying for my dream to come true, every time I have a birthday, I feel like Sarah as I struggle to hold on to my faith. My life when compared to others who are very successful looks very bleak but when compared with others less visible than myself, I have hope and my faith struggles along. Yes, it is tough watching other get their day in the sun and the sun is no where on my horizon or so far behind the cloud I can’t see a thing. Yes, faith can move mountains but some times it feel like doubt can move your faith. While this moment of thought maybe fleeting, it does appear, periodically.
Like in any other professional pursuits, acting comes with a lot of rejection but sometimes a bit more than other professions. An actors job is constantly looking for that next job until the jobs start coming to you. This takes a minute or two or never for some. While success is opportunity meets preparedness, keep the ball rolling and eventually it will roll in your favor. The alternative of giving up, does not make for a happy camper! See the poem below!
Harlem BY LANGSTON HUGHES
What happens to a dream deferred?
Does it dry up
like a raisin in the sun?
Or fester like a sore —
And then run?
Does it stink like rotten meat?
Or crust and sugar over —
like a syrupy sweet?
Maybe it just sags
like a heavy load.
Or does it explode?
In conclusion, while I feel like my dream is deferred, my faith tells me that while it maybe deferred but not denied and I must stay the course and keep my eyes on the prize, God, and he will give me the desires of my heart! To all who have a dream that has not materialize, give out before you give-up. Don’t be like this story.
There was once a man who was unemployed and fought for a very long time for his unemployment check and after a long battle with no hope, finally he took his life and on that very same day, his unemployment check arrived in the mail.
At the ninth hour, the sun will come out and at the perfect time!! Hope my story will encourage the discourage, give hope to the hopeless and share faith with the faithless!
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