How to Change Your Limiting Beliefs Habit

What you need to know to make lasting change from who you are now to who you want to be.

You want a new job. You want a different car or a place closer to the train station. Maybe you want new friends or a way to talk to co-workers with ease. You know you’re destined for a different life, you just haven’t gotten there yet.

There are so many things you want to do. A lot to get out of life. But, each time you reach out for it, something stops you. After some thought, you just don’t feel like you can do it.

What stopped you?

Limiting beliefs.

How did you end up here? Thinking you can’t do something well within your reach.

You were told or decided you weren’t good at something. You watched others, heard your parents, or felt like you were a failure at a task.

You used it as a reason to keep yourself from acting.

Maybe it was learning a new skill, the Pythagorean Theorem, skiing, scientific research methods, wood working, going to a concert, or how to talk to strangers.

Maybe your mom is claustrophobic and doesn’t like crowds or sitting in busy restaurants (not a problem right now). As a kid, you might not have understood it, or thought it was silly.

As an adult, you took on her problem. It was something you lived with as a kid, it became normal to you.

You started to see yourself being the same way. You think it runs in the family. It only does if you believe it.

A limiting belief is a thought you believe to be true. Regardless of whether it is or not.

If a limiting belief is a thought, you can change that thought.

If it’s more than one, change them all.

You may say in protest, “It’s not that easy, you don’t understand.”

I call BS. I do understand. I’ve had many limiting beliefs. I held myself back from writing for many years. I thought I wasn’t good enough, no one would like it, and on and on.

Give me your list of limiting beliefs on writing, I bet I had them all.

Now, I write. I provide as much value as I can, because that’s what I expect of myself. I want to learn from your writing. In return, I use my experience and knowledge to provide something you can learn through my writing.

I’ve had plenty of other limiting beliefs. Now I push away any thought, limiting belief, or uncomfortable imagined problem. Anything which may prevent me from accomplishing my goals.

There are days I still struggle, but 95% plus are good, happy days accomplishing what I want. Those days may be relaxing or writing like crazy.

How do limiting beliefs take over?

You hear a voice in your head. Sounds a little odd, but you know all about that voice.

It could be your voice, your parents, your friends, a teacher, a co-worker, or even a stranger. That voice which tells you what type of person you are.

“You’re not smart enough.”

“You can’t do that.”

“You never make the right decisions; this will fall apart just like the rest of your choices.”

“You shouldn’t try that, you’ll just fail.”

Based on a voice no one else hears, you decide you’re not capable.

Some of the excuses you use to prevent your failure may be: you don’t have enough money, you don’t live in the right place, you didn’t have the right parents, or you don’t know the right people?

What other crafty excuses have you come up with?

Excuses are a good cover to limit what you do. They keep you comfortable and within your area of familiarity.

You let words stop you.

Can words physically stop you? No.

A wall can. A car hitting you can. The law might even stop you. Your spouse, sometimes they don’t even stop you.

Words, nope, can’t physically stop you from acting on your dream.

Why do you let words stop you from achieving your dream?

You may be motivated when you get up. Motivated when you think about your dream.

You start putting effort in to achieve your goal. Events start to get a little challenging and a problem arises. Then you hear the negatives.

“You’re not good enough,” starts the journey into your thoughts. You think of past failures. You feel how you felt when you failed the last time.

Those words change how you feel.

Now you feel like a failure and you convince yourself you won’t be able to do it. It’s enough to stop anyone.

What are limiting beliefs?

Words. Words you tell yourself. Ones you choose to believe.

Limiting beliefs are any belief which stops you from acting the way you want to act.

A belief which keeps you in comfort, keeps you from doing what’s right. A belief which keeps you lonely, frustrated, or any other state but where you want to be.

Words in your thoughts.

Anything which upsets your “norm” becomes a limiting belief.

It doesn’t have to be a completely new challenge like learning to fly, parachute jumping, or taking a trip out of the country.

It’s anything you haven’t done before, even some things you have. Your brain kicks into gear, sends out warning flags. Once the flags go up, you reconsider.

Now it’s a risk, a gamble, there are too many variables to account for, and you’re not comfortable with it.

Therein lies the rub.

You’re not comfortable with it.

A handy little trick your brain throws out to keep you in line. To protect you.

Why does your brain “protect” you?

You’ve heard the fight or flight stories, hunting for buffalo on the open plains while hoping a wolf doesn’t eat you.

Your brain was trained early in its development to protect you from being dinner. It remembers where you last saw a wolf. Where you last broke a leg while being trampled on the plain. It remembers all the scary, life or death stuff.

You want to avoid those situations again. For survival purposes. Your brain sends out those little signals, like fear, to remind you. To keep you nice and safe and capable of continuing the species.

In today’s world, where fewer legitimate outside threats exist, your brain is still working off thousands of years old technology. You really need to install the update.

You need to decide if words in your brain, which you choose to believe, are a legitimate threat to your abilities, your capabilities, and your desire to improve.

If words are a threat, schedule the update, and change the words which you allow to control you.

Your brain likes habits, it makes life easy

We all know about good habits and bad habits. There are lots of books on habits. How to change them, make better ones, destroy old ones or create new ones from thin air.

What’s so special about habits? They keep things simple and familiar, which your brain appreciates. It makes your brains job easy.

Your brain has a few jobs.

#1- It’s a biggie, keep your body functioning.

#2- Conserve energy for survival (see wolf and plains above, then refer back to number one).

#3- Continue the survival of the species (not going to be covered here).

And I like to throw in

#4- It’s kind of a brain afterthought, help you have a great life.

Actually, just kidding, your brain could care less if you have a great life. It wants to keep you alive, see #1–3.

You’re the only one in the brain-person relationship who wants to have a great life.

Your brain does want to help you get what you want. That’s exactly why it goes through every old scenario and pushes you into them.

You’ve done those things, had those thoughts, lived those moments, so it must be what you want to think about, do again, and relive.

If you don’t want to do those again, you have to tell your brain you want a change. Not let it tell you what it thinks you need.

How does your brain tell you what you want?

It’s pretty sneaky. You may not have realized this, your brain uses your own emotions against you.

Your brain throws up roadblocks to keep you in line. Your brain rides through the pre-set, pre-programmed list of instructions. Paths you’ve taken in the past to get you back on track.

If you think about something like eating ice cream, you may have a “Yah, that sounds great. I could eat some ice cream right now” and you feel good. All’s good, you can eat the ice cream.

If you think, “Ice cream? if I eat ice cream I’ll put on 5 pounds. I better not eat ice cream,” you feel bad. Warning, don’t eat the ice cream, stay on track or you’ll feel worse.

Just thinking about ice cream changes how you feel. You haven’t even gotten the ice cream out of the fridge yet.

This was a simple example. You could have experienced one awful event years ago and it’s holding you back. It could have been repetitive words in a bad family environment or an event at your school.

You held onto the situation, the words, and the feelings. All new actions on your part relate back to that situation(s). You think about it and you feel bad.

Anytime you think about an event that had a negative lasting impact you feel the emotion associated with the event. You see it happening, or hear the conversation. The result is you act in a negative way or you don’t act at all.

Limiting beliefs are the “don’t act or do what I say” feeling.

How do you change your limiting belief habit?

You have to consistently and constantly tell your brain what you want.

Once your brain seals it in concrete, the words you hear will change to help you get what you want.

Say it so much you’re sick of hearing it yourself. You must drown out any other negative voice you hear. Replace it with all the positives.

You’ve spent up until now reinforcing the limiting beliefs you developed over your lifetime. Feeling every ounce of guilt, anxiety, stress, loneliness, or frustration which comes with the thoughts.

Every time you think of a limiting belief, you re-create it with your feeling and increase your chance of failure.

Change your focus, reframe your thoughts, and change the words you use about yourself.

Stop listening to the long ago words your mom or High School teacher said to you. Change how you feel.

When you change how you feel, you’re unstoppable.

It’s not just positive thinking. It’s creating a new way to live. It’s shifting your perspective on who you are and what you can be.

If you want to continue to live in a negative field of landmines, do it.

If you prefer to grow and do better as a person, become it.

Reframe the negative thoughts

If you tell yourself not to think the thoughts, you’ll just think them.

Find a replacement thought. An “I am awesome, capable, and unstoppable” kind of phrase. Anytime the negative thought pops up, think of the replacement phrase instead.

See yourself acting differently. Hear new words about how great your next step will be. Feel what it’s like to do the one thing you’ve always wanted to do. Go out and do it.

When you see yourself doing the actions you want to take, your ability to actually do it increases.

Teach your brain you’re in charge and not going to follow the “standard answers” it presents.

Little “anxiety, fear, and stress” emotions won’t control you. They won’t knock you off track.

You’ll accomplish everything you want.

Take yourself to the next level

Life is too short to waste on words which aren’t true.

Never accept beliefs which stop you from achieving your dreams. Beliefs which keep you from acting.

Change the voice, words, and feelings to match the person you want to be.

Accept beliefs which help you create the person you know you will be.

Is there a story on happiness, motivation, or change you’re interested in. Let me know in the comments or email me at: [email protected]