How to Break the Twin Flame Bond

It’s not for the faint of heart

I spent a long time wondering whether I should write this article. I wanted to make sure I wasn’t doing it out of anger and that spreading this information wasn’t anti-dharmic. Once I could confirm my detachment and I felt that this could only be done successfully under very specific circumstances anyway, I decided to go ahead.

It had been cloudy and rainy for days following our separation. I couldn’t stand this weather, especially around this time of year (winter solstice). I feel energized by the blue sky but it was nowhere to be found. I could have really used it in that moment. I asked no one in particular about the weather. Mother Earth responded, “It is in honour of your sacrifice.”

I didn’t expect that and was confused. A separation, which I was convinced was temporary at the time, could hardly be described as a sacrifice. It felt a little overly dramatic but I put it aside. I was grieving and accepted that Mother Earth was grieving with me.

Late that night my twin flame started speaking to me. It was extremely unusual for him to be up at 2 in the morning and to seek me out. He was unbelievably sad but it didn’t feel related to me. At one point, I realized he was crying. He was upset about his marriage and said he just wanted to feel loved. I explained that he is loved, he’s just not letting it in. He was not convinced. We chatted for awhile about why he disconnected. He explained that the intensity of the energy made him do and feel things he wasn’t comfortable with. After 3am I heard wolves howling in the distance, felt his consciousness slip away, and I was finally able to doze off.

The next night, there was such a strong energy coursing through me that wouldn’t let me sleep. I refused to let this separation lower my vibrations. I refused to let this longing control my life. I refused to feel unloved because he was not able to love me when so many other people in my life did love me. Mostly, I refused to waste my love on someone who didn’t want it, when there were so many people in the world that needed it. We argued for awhile but I was resolute. He did not appreciate the energy I was giving him, he refused to acknowledge himself, he refused to change. Why should I waste my precious energy on him when it could be distributed to 1,000 other people who would appreciate it?

Suddenly, I felt a snap in my heart and a silence and peace overcame me. The kind of peace I hadn’t felt since I first fell into this twin flame hell. I was overjoyed, I felt so free! However, the silence was also deafening. Suddenly I was concerned that my twin had died. Visions of his funeral flooded my mind but I realized he was still there, just much much further away. I was simply subconsciously grieving the loss of our connection.

The next day felt phenomenal. I no longer felt weighed down by someone else. I felt like I was in control of my own emotions, thoughts and destiny again. I was convinced I broke the twin flame bond completely but over the coming days came to realize what had actually happened. Irregardless of what you may call it, it was exactly what I was looking for — a break away from the bondage chaining me down.

Firstly, let me explain that the twin flame dynamic is not actually a bond in and of itself. You are simply the same and in a perfect union where the two of you are both balanced, you are reveling in your own love (of self, not other), together. What creates the annoying sensation of a bond are your weaknesses, which are also the same. These weaknesses create energetic “cords” that connect your chakras.

These cords clip into place pretty early on in the relationship as soon as you get the slightest subconscious indication of the past life trauma that connects the two of you. That is why you are attracted to their energy right away when you meet the person. That is why you are unable to stop thinking about them and are constantly drawn to them. They immediately start healing a part of you that you didn’t know needed healing.

The connection is particularly difficult to break because the cord is also tied to the chakras that are weakest in both of you, which were caused by your shared past life trauma. For us, it was the heart chakra, and I later discovered another cord in the solar plexus (that I’m still working on). These cords are meant to heal the two of you, but when the relationship is toxic, unproductive, or goes against your sovereignty and will, they should be broken. Let me explain the conditions that allowed for the break to occur.

Large Disparity in Vibrations

I have been healing my heart chakra for decades. I no longer consider this one of my weak chakras, I consider it one of my strongest ones. The last year also resulted in an astronomical transformation in my awareness and my vibrations. I continue to grow in power each week.

My twin, on the other hand, is very volatile and cannot hold his vibrations. He’ll feel the intensity of it sometimes when the stars align (I mean that literally — full moon between our birthdays for example) but generally, his vibrations have been declining. This knowledge has been very painful for me, especially since I’ve come to understand that there is nothing I can do to help him. If anything, I have been a crutch for him — not allowing him to enter a dark night of the soul so that he can actually heal and grow.

This particular night, I would not accept the feeling of his vibrations weighing me down. I knew I could be vibrationally higher and I focused on that. That is when the cord snapped — it could no longer sustain the differential between us. Whereas he was writhing in self-pity, I was soaring in the love I felt for myself, for him and for the Earth.

Determination and Will

The cord is pulling at the weakness within you, so it takes a very strong person to fight against it. However, fight you must. No one is going to do this for you, you have to want it. You have to convince yourself that this is in everyone’s best interest. You can’t do it out of anger or any other negative emotion as that will weigh down your vibrations and not allow the break to occur. You have to believe that this is good for both of you and that you want a life without the connection. If you falter, the break cannot take place as you’re subconsciously not really letting go.

Acceptance

This one I’m not entirely sure about, as my spirit guide assures me I can do this without the acceptance of my twin. However, it felt that his acceptance made the process easier. So, although not necessary, I believe it does help. I could feel he was frustrated with the impact this connection was having on his life as well. When I argued that I could help so many more people in his place, he had no argument in return. It felt like this was the final ingredient that facilitated the break.

In contrast, I’ve been working on breaking the cord in our solar plexus chakras. My determination and will were steadfast, even stronger than the first time. However, my vibrations were probably not as strong, and this chakra is definitely much weaker than my heart. However, the main blocker I was feeling was him. He refused to let go this time. He didn’t understand what was happening and the break felt too permanent for him. Maybe that made me waver. I eventually eased off, knowing I had to work on developing a stronger sense of peace within myself first anyway.

Universal Approval

There must be a divine reason for the break. I came to understand mine after it happened — he had significant karmic debt while I had none. Generally, the twin flame dynamic is in place to support your vibrational growth and development. As frustrating as it is, it is for your own good. So, you can’t break the cords just because you don’t like it and don’t want to have to deal with it anymore.

I really, really wanted to make it work. Even though it seemed impossible, I kept coming up with ideas that could theoretically work. Each time, my twin thwarted them. I wouldn’t lose hope and came up with a new plan. That didn’t work for him either. I kept diluting the purity of what a union should be like in order to make the arrangement work for him. The universe did not approve of this and supported my break so that I could continue to grow without him. Otherwise, this was as far as I could go while still connected to him.

Thank you for reading. This was a painful experience for me, so I apologize that it lacks my usual humour. If you’d like to chat about your experience, e-mail me at [email protected].