How to Break Free from Your Past — And Choose Your Future
“The door to the Universe is you”
Who are you?
Ponder that question as you continue to read the rest of this article.
Imagine for a moment, a scene from the 1990 film “Joe vs the Volcano”, one of my favourite films.
Joe Banks (Tom Hanks) is in a restaurant with Didi (Meg Ryan). He has just been told by a quack doctor that he is going to die. So he quit his lousy job and finally asked Didi (who works there) out on a date.
Joe discovered a passion for life when he thought he had a terminal illness.
Let’s imagine the scene:
(Joe Banks) “Who am I? That’s the real question, isn’t it? Who-who am I? Who are you? What other questions are there? What other questions are there, really. You want to understand the universe? Embrace the universe. The door to the universe is you.”
Stop.
Joe said, “the door to the Universe is you”.
The real question is, “Who am I? Who are you?”
Our view of the world is influenced by our view of ourselves in it. We need to “embrace the Universe” and accept greater possibilities than we thought.
Joe didn’t recognize what his life could be until he thought he was going to die.
Why is it so hard to embrace greater possibilities?
We all grow up in an environment of family and culture that influences our view of who we are and what the world is like.
Are people good or bad? Do I need to fear strangers?
What will my future self be?
When we have low expectations of ourselves we avoid reaching for goals and we set the bar very low.
Our self-imposed limits become fixed, and we believe it is not possible to achieve much because of our family and our personal history.
Your view of what you believe is possible determines how you see the world and your future potential.
Notice the words of Stephen R. Covey in his book The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People:
“Each of us tends to think we see things as they are, that we are objective. But this is not the case. We see the world, not as it is, but as we are — or, as we are conditioned to see it.”
We are each conditioned to see ourselves and the world a certain way.
Benjamin P. Hardy said in his book Personality Isn’t Permanent:
“If you have a negative view of yourself, then you probably have a negative view of the world. If you have a positive view of yourself, then you probably have a positive view of the world. The world is viewed through the lens of your identity.”
The good news is that conditioning does not have to be permanent. Or as Benjamin P. Hardy says, Personality Isn’t Permanent.
Unfortunately, we base our beliefs on the meaning we give to various experiences in life. That meaning is totally subjective and often wrong.
Have you noticed that sometimes two siblings in the same family will look back on a family experience with a completely different view?
They grow up in the same situation but see it differently. They attribute a different meaning to their past.
They allow their past to define their present, and who they are.
You are not your past.
To quote Ben Hardy again:
“The meaning you place on past events determines who you are and what your future is. Changing how you view your past is essential to upgrading your identity and future. Fundamental to changing your identity is also changing your story. A new future creates a new past.”
Is your proverbial cup half empty, or half full?
It’s the same cup. How you see it is a choice.
How you see your cup determines your happiness and view of your future potential.
“Your past is not your potential. In any hour you can choose to liberate the future.” — Marilyn Ferguson
How do you change your view of the past?
Re-frame the meaning of your experiences.
Instead of being fearful because of some past experiences, think of what those experiences have done “for you” instead of what they have done “to you”.
You have gained insight and understanding. You have gained strength and resilience.
Author Dan Sullivan calls it the Gap and the Gain.
You can choose to look at the “gap” (what is missing) or look at the “gain” (what you have learned from the experience), redefining the meaning of it.
So, how do you choose your future rather than dwell in the past?
- Re-frame your past experiences. What have you gained?
- Recognize that you are stronger today and will be stronger tomorrow
- Imagine your future self and choose actions today that align with that.
Every action you do today that fits with your chosen future self will draw you closer to being that person.
So, back to our question at the beginning of the article.
Who are you?
May you take action and be who you choose to be.
