How to Break Free From Binge Eating by Urge Surfing

Why cultivating mindfulness is essential

My recovery from binge eating was a road filled with shame, secrets, and overwhelming feelings of self-loathing and powerlessness.

I tried several tactics to gain control over this compulsion to comfort myself with food. Distracting myself, analyzing my behavior, reading books on binge eating disorder — I was determined to free myself from binge eating.

But no matter how many books I read or which “coping skills” I tried, I would still binge several times per week.

I would again go to that family-owned bakery downtown, buy a cheesecake, eat that whole thing myself, and finish it up with two 500g packs of sandwich cookies.

After I just ate lunch.

It was not until I approached eating from a place of mindfulness that I finally saw considerable improvements in my ability to control my behavior around eating.

In this article, I present the technique that led me to recovery, and I hope this writing will provide some guidance to those who still feel like there is no hope and no help.

What is Surfing the Urge?

Urge surfing is a mindfulness technique used in psychotherapy to help individuals overcome addictive behaviors.

It is based on the premise that urges come in waves, and they never last forever.

You can learn to “ride out” these waves by practicing mindfulness and becoming aware of their transient nature.

Like a wave, the impulse to engage in any addictive behavior rises in intensity, peaks, and eventually crashes. You watch your desire to binge rise in intensity, observe how it builds up, and eventually subsides on its own.

If you let it.

Instead of trying to fight the urge or giving in to it, you learn to accept and watch it.

How do You Surf the Urge?

There are variations of this technique, but the main component is practicing awareness. The following steps can serve as a guide.

1. Prepare

Before the compulsion to binge occurs, remind yourself that urges never last forever.

They are not permanent.

They come and go.

You know this because they came before.

Maybe at random times. Perhaps your urges are triggered by certain events or emotional states that you have already identified.

Just be ready for it and accept that they will come again.

Also, please make sure to nourish your body. When you intentionally starve yourself or restrict eating, you are setting yourself up for a binge later on.

2. When the Urge Hits

When you feel the urge to binge sneak up on you, focus on your breath.

Tell yourself you will simply notice the desire to comfort yourself with food. Avoid becoming stressed out or upset that you have this urge.

Don’t judge yourself.

Simply acknowledge that you are having an urge and remind yourself that this is just a thought, and you don’t have to interact with it. Just like you may feel the urge sometimes to call in sick when you don’t feel like going to work. But still, you go. Usually.

You already know that you don’t have to act on your impulses. And guess what? With binge eating, it is the same.

3. Ride the wave

Once you feel the urge, take a deep breath, and do a body scan.

Notice how the feeling is different from hunger. Observe your physical and mental reactions. Do you get anxious? Does your chest tighten? Do you feel a tingling in your hands? For example, I get very agitated and bite my lips when an urge starts.

Check your inner dialogue.

What thoughts are running through your head? Are you talking down on yourself because you experience this urge?

Then bring your attention to your breath.

Don’t try to change the rhythm, simply notice the sensation. Feel the air going in and out of your nostrils. Does your chest rise?

Repeating a mantra can also be helpful. “This too shall pass” is a good one that I use often. You can also simply use “breathe in, breathe out.”

Wondering how long you have to ride it out?

The general consensus is that an urge peaks between 20–30 minutes.

If you let it.

Try not to fight it or distract yourself from it.

Simply allow it to be there.

4. After the Crash

The first time you successfully surfed an urge, take a moment to acknowledge your success.

Write down how it felt, what sensations you experienced. How easy or hard it was to resist.

Every time you succeed in surfing the urge, you strengthen your ability to use this technique.

What I found very helpful, especially in the beginning, is to also note down what triggered the urge to use food as comfort. Maybe you can identify specific situations or states of mind.

For example, I experienced binge urges much more frequently when I was under high amounts of interpersonal stress. It didn’t make them occur less often, but it was easier for me to welcome them in. I started telling myself things like, “of course, you feel like you want to stuff yourself now after this disappointment.” I began to have more empathy for myself.

What if You don’t Succeed?

At first, you might not be able to surf the urge until it completely subsides.

Do not beat yourself up.

Most of all, don’t give up.

Try it again the next time and think of it as practicing a new skill.

Even if you don’t succeed the first time, you are teaching yourself to become more mindful around food.

With time it will become easier to simply observe the urge without acting on it. It is unlikely that your urges will ever go away completely, but it is possible to simply let them be.

Using this technique has been a complete game-changer for me, and many people who were dealing with addictions, such as drinking, smoking, or gambling.

And once you realize you can successfully surf urges, you will feel a sense of relief and maybe even pride.

Because you will know that you are not powerless over food anymore.