Self-Development
How to Become an Uncommon Person
The path to reaching your highest potential.
Most people are common. It is rare to be uncommon.
The reason is that it is much easier to be common. Common is normal. It is acceptable, and often it is comfortable. When you are common, you are more relatable. People will understand you, and they will commiserate with you. They will complain to you and escape with you.
What is much harder is to be uncommon. To demand more of yourself, push harder, want more, seek more, and do more.
The path to being an uncommon person will include getting past those that are going to hold you back. And that is the difficult part of this process. Those that love you the most will tell you to get in line, quiet down, and pay the man. Life is easier when you play along.
The longer you wait, the more you subdue that inner voice to fight for more, and the more difficult it will be to accept what you’ve become. That is why so many people “suddenly” wake up unfulfilled and experience what is called a midlife crisis.
“Success is uncommon, not to be found by the common man. I’m looking for uncommon people.” — Cal Stroll
How to Be Uncommon
The only way to combat this modern-day debacle is to use self-development to continuously push the envelope on what you think you are capable of. Self-development is the cureall to this crisis. It is how normal people become great and how common people become uncommon.
Embrace the Process
The process is the daily actions you do that separate you from everyone else. It is what success looks like in action. It is not sexy or glamorous and can only be described as one thing — repetitive.
The process is unrelenting, and it works both ways. You are either getting better or getting worse. You are either taking daily action that makes you uncommon or common. The good news is that you get to choose what you do every day, so you get to choose to be uncommon.
“The burn, committing to standards over feelings, is an ongoing process that must combine with other tools that work best for you. Not allowing your feelings to dictate how you show up. But choosing to live to your standard to win each day. You must find a daily process that works for you. That process leads to what I call Your Prizefighter Day.” — Ben Newman
Love the Work
Jon Gordon, an author of some classics of self-development, said that it’s impossible to work your hardest if you don’t care as much as possible.
That quote really hit me because most of us separate work from pleasure. We love to talk about work/life balance as if it is possible to separate the two things. Instead, I believe that you should learn to love everything you do and combine them in a way that creates a seamless experience.
What that means is that you are always expressing your best self, producing quality work, and putting forth your best effort, regardless of what it is you are doing. You don’t dread work and love the weekends. You always love what you do, regardless of when or where that is.
“Positive energy is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets. The stronger it gets, the more powerful you become. Repetition is the key, and the more you focus on positive energy, the more it becomes a natural state.” — Jon Gordon
Design your Mindset
I use the word “design” very deliberately because that is exactly what I mean. In the same way you get to choose what you do every day, you get to choose the mindset you adopt in any given situation.
If you don’t design your mindset deliberately, you’ll default to your emotional state, you’ll resort to thinking how you feel, and you’ll most likely fall back into a common way of thinking. You’ll most likely embrace the victim mindset that has permeated every aspect of our existence.
When you design your mindset, you have a premeditated way of thinking about certain events. When something bad happens, you’ll say “good,” I’ve been waiting for an opportunity to test my mettle.
When you get passed over for a promotion, you’ll say, “good,” I have more time to develop as a leader. This is how mental toughness is developed. You go through tough events, embrace them, and respond in an uncommon way.
Lead Yourself First
Everyone loves the idea of being a leader. They think that leading others is telling them what to do. Nothing is further from the truth. Leadership is an action, a thing you do. Being a leader requires you to first adopt the principles of leadership within yourself. You simply cannot tell someone to do something you are unwilling to do yourself.
However, this is becoming more and more common across all industries and professions. Next time you head to the doctor’s office, take note of the body fat percentage of your doctor. The person responsible for your health is most likely not embodying the principles of health and vitality.
“Leadership, uncommon or otherwise, is not easy. It requires honesty, accepting reality, telling the truth to others as well as yourself, and setting your ego aside.” — Ben Newman
Remind Yourself Why
Desire is perhaps the most underrated aspect of success. When we were kids, we were driven by our instinctual nature, and we gravitated to our natural inclinations. We are also encouraged to pursue these interests.
As we get older, we are less likely to pursue what we really want. Instead, we may settle down into a “reliable” career path or in the family business or simply fall victim to the hedonistic side of our desires. We may never learn how to channel our interests into a lifelong pursuit that is both fulfilling and financially sound.
This is why we must double down on the pursuit. Within each challenge is a lesson to be learned, and only through the deliberate act of self-development will we ever have the self-awareness, drive, and intuitiveness to realize our dreams. When things get tough, I think back to a quote about Jerry Rice’s fanatical commitment to excellence. He is my benchmark of what it takes to be uncommon, and I revisit this quote often.
“For the first ten years, he was in the league, Jerry and his wife never took a vacation. Together, they chose to focus on Jerry’s career as an NFL wide receiver instead. In fact, Jerry chose the path of giving 100 percent throughout his entire football career. It’s a philosophy that stayed with him until the final snap of the final game he played.”
This story was partially inspired by Uncommon Leadership by Ben Newman.
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