How to Become a People Magnet (Even if You’re an Introvert)
Mastering The Skill That Makes Humans Most Happy
In 1938, researchers from Harvard University embarked on a study to determine what makes people happy.
Researchers gathered health records from 724 men from various economic and social backgrounds and scheduled checkups at two-year intervals to ask the participants a series of detailed questions about their lives.
What shocked most people is that what made people most happy in life wasn’t what’s typically glorified on social media (e.g., money, career achievement, nice cars, etc.).
It was something much more subtle and easily attainable for all of mankind…
Positive relationships.
The majority of your joy in life is derived from the positive relationships you have with other people.
This means learning to develop and master relationships can make a massive difference in your life experience.
I wouldn’t consider myself the most extroverted person around – In fact, I’m not extroverted at all…
But these few tips have significantly enhanced my social life and have increased the number of positive relationships I have.
Learn human nature
You must understand human nature to become a people magnet.
This allows you to acknowledge people for who they truly are instead of who they make out to be or who you want them to be.
A sure sign you’ve got a good grasp of human nature is you’re able to correctly assess the behavior or character of people based on first impressions.
Mastering your understanding of people will enable you to gauge how others think and predict how they will act ahead of time, which will influence how you engage them.
For instance, if you pick up that someone has people-pleasing tendencies, you may make an effort to reiterate to them that they only need to do things if they genuinely want to
In other words, learning human nature will help you to be more empathetic.
Empaths are highly attractive people due to their ability to understand others on deep levels.
If you wanna attract more people towards you, understand human nature.
Make people feel important
Dale Carnegie, the author of How to Make Friends and Influence People, once gave an example of how to attract people using his admiration of strawberries and cream.
He said, and I’m paraphrasing, “I love strawberries and cream, but I wouldn’t use it for bait when I go fishing.”
The reasoning behind this logic is simple: fish don’t like strawberries and cream; they like worms.
If you wanna attract people to you, you must give people what they want, not what you want.
One of the major wants of people is to be recognized and noticed.
We want to feel appreciated!
This is your entry port…
Show people you’re appreciation for them.
I’ve got a mate who’s mastered this skill.
Whenever he meets or greets someone, he does his best to pick out a feature he knows the person has tried to enhance – “Yoo, your hair is awesome man.”
If he can’t find a feature, he just becomes your hype man – “Ayyy, man like [insert name]! How are you?”
Allow people to feel validated around you – just don’t go overboard with it.
Pay attention to your body language
Experts say nonverbal communication makes up 70 – 93% of all communication.
People are often reading more into what your body says than your words.
If you wanna become a people magnet, you must master this aspect of communication to ensure the message you wanna convey is being broadcasted.
TLDR: You don’t want people to think you don’t wanna be around them.
The key to this is to display self-assured but welcoming body language.
This means having good posture, no crossing of arms or legs, and holding eye contact when communicating in person – smiling helps too, but not ear to ear.
Displaying open body language plays into the point we made above about making people feel important…
People go where they feel appreciated and welcomed.
If you make them feel like you value their presence, they’ll keep coming back.
Become a master conversationalist
Becoming a people magnet is about lifting the spotlight from yourself and shining it on others.
It’s about giving others a platform to feel heard without being judged.
Let people talk about themselves around you.
For example, the other day, I bumped into a lady I’ve known for a while in the mall.
We both had time to kill, so we took a quick detour to a local coffee shop to catch up in a more comfortable setting.
When we got onto the topic of our love lives, she told me about an affair she had with a married man and expressed the fact that she didn’t feel any regret.
Without insinuating she was crazy or out of order, I asked her why she didn’t feel bad about it, and she answered – “I’m single, and I wanted him. He’s married and wanted me. If anything, he should feel bad.”
Regardless of whether I agreed with her sentiment, I simply responded, “That’s fair.”
She used my response to justify her answer, which sparked a more interesting conversation further down the line.
When our time was up, she was upset we had to stop talking.
Her last words were, “I feel like I just blabbered about myself for 30 minutes. We need to meet again so you can tell me what you’ve been up too.”
When you allow people to talk about themselves, you help them feel good.
Studies have shown people are intrinsically rewarded when they disclose information about themselves.
This dopamine hit will be associated with your presence, and they’ll surely be back for more.
Be open-minded
The more people you meet, the higher the odds you’ll encounter someone whose worldview varies drastically from yours.
You must be extremely open-minded if you wanna become a people magnet.
Take Daryl Davies as an example…
He’s a black R&B and blues musician who spent his spare time befriending Ku Klux Klan members.
In his effort to fight racism by engaging with KKK members, he was able to convince 200 Klansmen to give up their robes.
When asked how he did it, Davis replied:
“If you spend five minutes with your worst enemy, you will find that you both have something in common.
As you build upon those commonalities, you’re forming a relationship and as you build about that relationship, you’re forming a friendship.”
Being open-minded means you must be willing to hear people out, even if you disagree with what they’re saying…
This is because the most important part of any interaction is not about whether you agree but about identifying the small things you have in common.
People naturally gravitate towards those who are mature and willing enough to listen to opposing views.
If you wanna become a people magnet, this must be you.
Final thoughts
Positive relationships are the secret to a happier, healthier, and longer existence.
The more, the merrier.
All you’ve gotta do is become a people magnet, which is simple if you:
· Learn human nature · Make people feel important · Pay attention to your body language · Become a master conversationalist · Be open-minded
I’m an introvert, and following these tips significantly improved my relationships and has attracted many more into my life.
If you implement them too, I’m sure you’ll experience the same.
Thanks for reading!
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