Many Unhappy People Complain About The Same Thing — their lives lack meaning

How to Become a Better Person by Doing a Meaningful Thing Every Day

Feel as if they’re not making progress, and so life has become repetitive and unfulfilling.

And who can blame them? It can be difficult to find meaning in simple everyday tasks, especially when we might feel like we’re trapped in low-paying jobs or unfulfilling relationships.

Here on Medium, we aim to connect the world around creative expression. But that doesn’t mean we can’t learn from people who aren’t teachers, writers, poets, painters, and photographers. In fact, I think we can learn a lot from people who have found meaning in their daily routines.

Today I’d like to share a story about how one woman, after years of feeling trapped by her life and work, discovered that small habits like eating her breakfast outside, standing up straight, or going for a walk could add up to a happier and more fulfilling life.

I first met Jillian over email when she wrote to me asking for advice on how to start a blog. I didn’t know Jillian at the time, but her email compelled me to respond. It was well crafted, insightful, and vulnerable:

“I have thought about writing a blog for the last years but never got around to it. I’m in my late 30s and have made some big mistakes in my life — one that was an extremely painful divorce…because of this I feel like I have missed out on things like traveling, being spontaneous, and having fun with friends. I want to start this blog as a way to improve my life and have more fun. I really love writing, but sometimes it’s hard for me to find the time. If I wanted to do it full-time, I would be able to write when I wanted…but even at only 1–2 hours per day, it would still be a lot of work. Every day I am confronted with the need to make decisions. As a creative person, I would like to make them on my own terms rather than feel obligated or pressured to please others…I started thinking about how I prefer to live my life, and many of the habits I do have were inspired by what I read — both fiction and nonfiction. As a result, I would love to write about the things that inspire me. I would also like to write about things that make me angry or sad so I can figure out how to improve my life.”

After exchanging a few emails, Jillian told me that she wanted to quit her job at Google in order to start her blog full-time. But after talking through her situation more, she realized that she needed a backup plan in case things didn’t work out. “I’m not against working full-time, but I’d like to have a plan B in case this doesn’t pan out,” she explained.

So Jillian and I discussed her ideas for a blog, and she told me about how she wanted to write about how to get more meaning out of life. After thinking about the idea for a few days, I wrote back with an answer: “I think you should start your blog to share simple habits that are easy to implement that add up to a better life. I also think that you shouldn’t focus on the things you can’t control — like a bad divorce or a great job at Google. Instead, I think that people who could benefit from your blog are your future readers — so write about how to live a better life and have more meaning in their own lives. You don’t need to be afraid of making mistakes because by sharing them, you’ll learn from them.”

Jillian agreed and I left it at that. After that initial conversation, we never talked about her blog again — but we still kept in touch.

Small Actions, Big Change

Sometimes, the things we think will add up to a better life don’t pan out. In fact, sometimes they can do more harm than good.

But what if you could combine the bad with the good? What if you could turn a negative experience into a positive one?

I’d like to share a story that illustrates how. Once upon a time, Jillian woke up feeling sad and unproductive. She had spent most of her life working at Google, at times hating her job and feeling like she was stuck in an office cubicle, chained to her desk. But she was also unfulfilled in her personal life as well, dating a guy that she despised, but not truly feeling like she had a place to belong. She had a nice apartment, and she owned several pairs of shoes that she never wore. This is what she had transcribed in her email to me:

“I was feeling really uninspired and unhappy this morning. As I got ready for work, I looked around my apartment and realized that there is no soul in the place — it’s all just boxes on floors and not a place where I feel like spending time relaxing or entertaining. I spent most of the day at work feeling down about myself and my life, wishing that I could be doing something different. And when I got home, I felt like being productive would cheer me up and make me feel better about myself. But I just did a bunch of mundane chores around the house and didn’t feel any better.”

Jillian told me that she was unhappy with her “safe” life — where she woke up every morning to go to work and then came home each night to watch TV shows.

”I sometimes have very depressing thoughts about my future,” she said.

When I suggested that she start her blog that same day, Jillian initially hesitated. “I’ve had the idea for a blog in my head for years,” she admitted to me. “But I’ve probably spent more time thinking about it than actually writing.”

”What’s been holding you back?” I asked. “And what do you want your blog to be about?”

Jillian wanted her life to feel like it had more meaning — and that her goals, ambitions, and choices were hers and hers alone.

At that moment, Jillian felt like her life was out of control. She decided to act on those feelings and do something she had been thinking about doing for years.

What We Should All Learn From This

Is that it’s okay to feel unhappy or unfulfilled with your life. And you shouldn’t feel guilty about it. But don’t let those feelings hold you back from doing something good for your life.

It’s easy to give in to these negative feelings and just sit on the couch, watching TV shows, gossiping with friends, and judging people.

Your life is yours to live, and you should do what you want with it — even if it isn’t perfectly ideal.

To conclude, I’d like to quote Jillian’s last email to me, sent just before she quit her job at Google.

I’m sure most of you are happy with your lives and don’t need to hear me say this. But for some reason, I am — and I’d like to start my blog as a way of showing that it’s possible for me to start moving in a direction that is closer to what I want. If you have any ideas or suggestions, I’d really appreciate them.

Hopefully, by reading this story, you’ll feel inspired to start figuring out new ways to improve your life. And even if things don’t work out exactly as you planned, it doesn’t mean that you’re hopeless in your vision of living a better life. Just keep working on it and making progress every day.

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