How To Beat Fear, Without Doing Scary Things.

The concept of Fun Not Fear and how it applies to everyone.

Yesterday, I became a published author.

Half a year’s work out in the world for all to see.

To say I was nervous doesn’t cover it. I have not slept properly in months.

What if they don’t like it? What if it flops? What if I get trolled?

But last night, after all the buzz had died down, I went to bed and slept like a log.

Nothing left to worry about. Well, not about the book, anyway. What will be will be, and it is in the hands of the Gods now.

I have put myself out there in a way many never will. I have made myself vulnerable and shared every detail of how I was feeling.

I’ve asked my peers for their thoughts on my writing, and they’ve given me positive feedback.

I’ve had it externally edited and proofread.

I have created something I can be proud of.

And it will help dogs — the main thing I set out to do in the first place. In doing so, it will help their humans, too.

I wanted to make it friendly and easy to read. I explained degree-level concepts about dog behaviour. I also explained how to help them overcome or avoid struggles. I made sure that dogs would not be forced to do things they did not like at any point. I even explain how to let your dog tell you exactly what rewards they would like you to use.

I still have some promo to do to get the word out, but for the most part, I have finished my hard work for now, and I can relax a bit.

I want other writers to read my journey into writing. I want dog professionals to read my behind-the-scenes. I want people to know it is ok to not be the most confident at all times.

Even if you know your stuff, feeling scared or unsure is normal. You can ask your friends for support and reassurance. If you can’t ask them, you can ask me.

Imposter syndrome plagues many professions, including writing and the dog world. In a Fun Not Fear® setting, which applies to humans as much as it does dogs, we do not seek to “feel the fear and do it anyway”. Instead, we find ways to remove the fear from the situation, make the situation more fun, and then “do it”.

We can use this to overcome imposter syndrome, just as we can any other fear-filled situation.

For example, to take the fear out of writing my book, I joined a course specifically for people who want to write books and blogs about dog care. I met people I could bounce ideas off, and some of them I was already friends with! Whenever I felt worried, I sought support from my peers and received it.

Years ago, I wanted to learn about dog behaviour and start a new career. I was a recovering alcoholic with PTSD from a domestically violent marriage, who had no experience in the dog world and was surrounded by things that scared me.

To put myself out there took some real courage. Which mostly I didn’t have. What I did have, however, was willpower. My desire to do something meant that I could start looking for ways to get that thing done. If I was scared, I found ways around the fear.

To overcome my fears around the dog world, I took jobs working for free with people I could learn from. People who could teach me while I also took courses. People who would give me practical experience. People who I could have a giggle with and am still friends with all these years later. I made my social life about dogs and immersed myself in dog people who I respected and admired.

These people are now my best friends.

As I began to get a fledgling business underway, I knew I needed help with that, too. Lockdowns and COVID provided me with ample time at home to work with a business coach or two, to use technology more efficiently, to learn how to do an online subscription about helping anxious dogs, and to learn ways to see money and success differently.

I learned all about mindset and manifestation and seeing abundance instead of lack. Those things sound like woo-woo to some people, but when you change your mind, you change your world.

I am not into toxic positivity in the slightest. Some things really are shit. But it is whether you choose to accept to sit in the shit or to do something about it that matters.

To live a Fun Not Fear® Life you need to find ways to remove scary elements as far as possible, and those that can’t be removed altogether need to be actively made more bearable. In this way, you will get more done than you ever dreamed possible and you will grow in confidence and have faith in yourself more. You will prove to yourself you CAN do things.

Having a great support system boosted my confidence and helped me keep growing and learning in my chosen field. It still does.

Turning things into games and having rewards for things makes life less torturous and more enjoyable.

If I tried to do it alone on either path or took courses without camaraderie and laughs, I would feel overwhelmed and quit. But I chose to have fun and enjoy the journey, and the destination is not as important as treading the way there.

No matter how scary something is, there is usually a way to make it less so.

Take Dentist Bingo, for example. But you will have to read about that in the book.*

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100 Day Challenge — Day 47.

*yep, that is an Amazon affiliate link to my own book.