How To Be Patient (7 Ways To Deal With Patience)

“A man who is a master of patience is master of everything else.” -George Savile

When you buy something online, do you select standard shipping or expedited?

I select standard but that’s only because I’m cheap. Which is why Amazon Prime is the greatest creation on the planet. You can order something Thursday night, and it’ll most likely be at your door the following morning.

We’re a generation that constantly gets what we want, when we want it. We have everything readily available to us, we can get food delivered in under an hour, we can purchase clothing, books, even groceries can be delivered in a reasonable time frame.

Neil Patel says:

“Instant gratification is the desire to experience pleasure or fulfillment without delay or deferment. Basically, it’s when you want it; and you want it now.”

What happens when we don’t get that instant gratification?

We feel angry. Upset. Frustrated. It may even feel like the world is being unfair to us.

When your Amazon order doesn’t ship as quickly as humanly possible, you get flustered.

When the grocery clerk is taking too long, you’re irritated. When you’re stuck in traffic, you’re angry. When your cute workout outfit still hasn’t arrived after 2 days, you’re upset.

At the end of the day, a lack of patience is just your insecurities packaged differently.

Being unable to handle pressure means you’re unable to deal with real life. And, if you live in the real world you know that you’re not always going to get what you want.

I used to think this was just a quality I lacked, kind of like not being good at drawing, I could get by because I didn’t think it was necessary. However, patience is actually a huge contributor to living a happy and successful life. With that being said, here are 7 tips on how to be patient and how I have been dealing with patience.

#1. Focus On What You Can Control

It’s a very empowering feeling to know you are in control of something. As humans, we want to control every aspect of our lives. When things go wrong, we typically ask ourselves, “why me?”

You spend so much of your time focusing on the things that are entirely out of your control that you fail to see the things that you can control. In turn, you are being less effective throughout your work and most likely manifesting negative outcomes.

What are you currently frustrated with? Is it the lack of reads you get on Medium? Is it a lack of ideas? Are you struggling to get published? Are you trying to lose weight? Are you trying to start a new blog? A YouTube channel?

You can’t control whether or not people will read your content or watch your videos. But, you can control the content you create, how frequently you put your work out there, you can control the quality of your videos, and you can control the value you are sharing.

You wasting precious time worrying about every variable and outcome that’s beyond your control keeps you in a negative and helpless state of mind. It takes discipline to move forward, but forward is where you need to go if you want to achieve anything in life.

If your goal is to look a certain way, while you may not be able to change your genetic build, you can control what foods you consume, how much you exercise, and how much water you drink.

It’s all about perspective.

It’s simple. The more you focus on things out of your control, the less time you spend on the things that can actually make a difference.

Being able to focus on what you control shows that you are self-aware of your emotions and your ability to handle them.

#2. You’re Actually Making The Situation Worse By Giving It Negative Energy

Manifesting negative energy is real, and you are doing it every time you grow impatient. You’re supposed to destress the situation, not add more fuel to the fire.

When things aren’t going your way, why would you make the situation worse by producing anger? You’re putting more stress and anxiety into a situation that is already making you stressed out.

You get what you give.

Choose to manifest positivity, choose to manifest the good and the good will come back to you.

#3. Do A Relaxation Scan

Impatient people have a lot of built-up energy inside of them. Energy that is fueled by stress, anxiety and frustration. Oftentimes, you can be so caught up in your stress that you may not even notice any aches, pains or discomfort going on in your body. That does include mental discomfort and anxiety.

One of my favorite ways to address anxiety and frustration is by doing a relaxation scan. You can do it mentally, or you can listen to a YouTube guided video.

Essentially you are cultivating your ability to be mindful and more in tune with how your body is feeling. By doing this, you bring awareness to your body. And while you might not relieve it entirely of the pain, you will get to know your body better and learn from it.

You can google the entire routine but to sum it up in a few steps:

• Sit down with your back straight, and your eyes closed. Breathe in and out slowly for a count of 10 breaths
• Notice any place in your body where you are carrying tension
• Visualize that tension leaving your body, imagine your sore feet feeling good enough for a marathon
• Gradually moving up through your entire body from the tip of your toes until you reach the top of your head
• Notice how you feel and where you’re holding your stress. If there’s any tightness, pain, or pressure, continue to breathe through it

We have become so desensitized with our bodies, and becoming more in touch with your body will in turn make you aware of what it needs from you.

Learn to relax your body.

Release the tension, release what is holding you. Learn to feel weightless.

#4. Learn To Appreciate Patience And Time

Time is a gift and it’s taken for granted all too often.

I used to take a 90-minute hot yoga class every Saturday. It was a form of sweet and brutal torture. The first thing I noticed was how challenging it was. It was a mental battle with my body more than anything. I was frustrated and agitated that I couldn’t do certain poses — and I grew more and more impatient.

“I’ve been coming here for weeks, why is this still so hard?!” I would constantly complain.

I completely bypassed the fact that it was meant to be difficult. It was supposed to challenge me. It was supposed to benefit my body, which meant I had to stop thinking about whether or not I could do each and every pose, and focus on how I was feeling and appreciate every moment of it.

Life isn’t meant to be easy and breezy, you’re supposed to have road bumps, but patience teaches you how to overcome those moments with grace.

Learn to accept the challenges that come your way. The next time you take a yoga class or something that’s difficult, sit back and embrace it.

Elon Musk, multi-billionaire, and CEO of SpaceX says:

“Patience is a virtue, and I’m learning patience. It’s a tough lesson”

Learn to shift your focus to patience, acknowledge how everything makes you feel, acknowledge your emotions, frustrations, anger, and embrace them.

Acknowledge patience and learn to turn to it first in your times of need.

#5. Ground Yourself

This is where instant gratification comes into play. When we want something, we want it yesterday.

Focus on being more present with yourself and your life. Stop looking forward to next Friday, and enjoy your Tuesday.

Embrace the small joys of life rather than constantly seeking the next big thing.

You’re so unaware of what is going on around you because you’re living in your head and eating up all the drama on social media. Meanwhile, your soul is starving.

When I worked a corporate job, Friday was the best day of the week for me. It meant I didn’t have to come back for another 2 blissful days. I could do whatever I wanted throughout that time, I didn’t have to go back to what I called, “the hell-hole.”

What I didn’t realize is that by living for 1 day of the week forced me to bypass the other 4 days and I wasted so much precious time of my life.

Learn to ground yourself. Learn to live for the present moments and learn to find the simple satisfaction in each and every day.

#6. Figure Out Your Why

Why does everything need to happen in this exact moment for you?

Do you not trust the process? Do you not think there’s already a plan set in motion for you? Do you not trust yourself?

Do you not trust in your own capabilities?

Do you feel like your work ethic is good enough for more?

People so often come up with unrealistic ideas and expect the outcome to be wild and special, but not every idea needs to be pursued and not every idea will pan out. Unwelcome thoughts and emotions pop up all the time, you need to figure out why they come and whether or not they are viable.

Society shows us an unrealistic picture of “over-night success” and we cling to it like we cling to reality TV.

It’s an illusion that will break your spirit and make you think you’re not good enough.

You will get what you are waiting for only if you are putting in the work.

However, being in a constant state of stress and anxiety is not going to get you there any faster, so you might as well sit back, and wait patiently like the rest of us. At the end of the day, your problems are not as problematic as you think they are.

You just need to breathe a little and chill out.

#7. Practice Controlled Patience

Put yourself in situations that ultimately force you to practice patience.

You’re perfectly aware of the fact that the only way to master something is by practicing it.

For instance, the next time you go on a run, add an additional mile or 2.

The next time you get into an argument with your significant other, take a moment to breathe, relax, think twice before saying whatever it is you’re going to say.

The next time you’re irritated and someone is asking you something, take a breath, count to 5, then respond without snapping.

Practice patience in the little things and they will carry over to bigger problems.

I struggle a lot with responding with anger, and taking a moment to breathe, and counting in my head has helped me significantly because I can identify my feelings and I can understand that the things I want to say are only in the heat of the moment, and I don’t really mean them. This has not only allowed me to practice patience but self-control as well.

2 for 1?

“If it’s in your control, why do you do it? If it’s in someone else’s control, then who are you blaming? Atoms? The gods? Stupid either way. Blame no one.” — Marcus Aurelius

Every masterpiece on earth — every success story, every million-dollar company took time and patience. Remember that the next time you are wondering why success hasn’t fallen out of the sky and onto your lap yet.