How to Be More Masculine and Attract Women Effortlessly
6 defining traits that make you a man
“Being a male is a matter of birth. Being a man is a matter of choice.” — Edwin Cole
These words by Edwin Cole explain why so many men don’t understand what it means to be a man.
We live in a time where guys don’t find pleasure in going through the kind of struggles that will transform them into the man they are supposed to be.
Impulsive pleasure and instant gratification are now the order of the day.
Guys will rather spend time with only fans groups online or watch porn instead of doing something that will bring long-term pleasure and meaning. This is why many guys are now obsessed with tips and tricks to attract women.
If you’re living your best life, the strength of your character and the kind of life you lead should be enough to attract the right woman.
That said, if you’re looking for ways to build the right personality as a man and be more masculine, here are six things you can do.
1. Mastery of a craft
I know you were probably expecting tips like building strong arms and standing up straight to come first on this list. But those things are secondary when it comes to being a man.
Here’s the thing: Gaining mastery of any craft whether it’s in writing, painting, or coding, requires strength of character. You have to be mentally tough to be able to go through all the huddles, drudgery, and pain required to master any skill.
And this process of going through this pain will teach you more about yourself than you can ever imagine.
It’s a difficult process, this is why most guys can’t do it. Mastery will require you to forfeit instant gratification, doom scrolling on social media, binging on Netflix and porn, and endlessly playing video games. Doing these things is impulsive. Anyone can quickly run to them for distraction, but not everyone can sit down in a room and master a skill.
If you want to be a man, go through the process of mastering a skill. It will teach you patience, perseverance, grit, and character.
2. Self-mastery
Another vital thing you must learn if you want to be more masculine is self-mastery.
Imagine a guy who is reactive to everything. He jumps into heated arguments with ladies over the smallest things. He’s easy to offend, and when he has something to say, he always lets his emotion get a better part of him.
That’s an emotional infant.
Men are calm, collected, and put together. This is why they are not reactive. When they are in a conversation or a heated argument, they keep themselves under control because they’ve mastered themselves.
Imagine your most cherished celebrities in interviews. Think about the poise with which they handle themselves, how they can turn even ugly moments around and make them hilarious.
That’s the work of self-mastery. When you’ve mastered yourself, you have that demeanor that says “I know who I am, and I am in control of how I feel.”
3. Courage
“We suffer more from our imagination than from reality.” — Seneca
The ability to experience fear is a survival mechanism that our brain has used to keep us alive since the time of the caveman. For instance, if you see a lion in the bush, the ability to panic and run is what will keep you alive.
But we are not in the bushes anymore.
The world has developed and we no longer have wild animals around us. But with this comfort, another kind of fear was born. The one Seneca referred to as “The fear in our imagination.”
It’s the fear of disappointing people. The fear of going after your dreams because you’re afraid you might fail. It’s the fear of the unknown. For some, it’s the fear of approaching a woman or standing up to a bully.
As a man, you’re going to have to do a lot of things you’re not sure of. The problem is that people don’t understand that courage isn’t the absence of fear.
A courageous man isn’t a man who doesn’t feel fear. He’s simply a man who is aware of his fears and has learned to act despite them.
And the reason why this is so important is that a man needs to take action to grow. And if you’re always afraid of the unknown, letting your fears stop you, you’ll never face the reality of life and growth. Nothing great comes from always playing safe.
4. Integrity
When you see a self-confident masculine man, you’ll probably quickly notice traits like standing up straight with shoulders back, making solid eye contact, open body language during conversations, etc.
But the truth about these traits is that it doesn’t come through acting. I know many self-help articles tell you to do these things to feel more confident, truly confident people never had to think about doing them.
And the reason for this is that these traits come from the inside. You stand tall and make eye contact because you know who you are and you have nothing to hide.
If you’re not proud of yourself, no amount of acting will make you comfortable with making eye contact with others. Because when you look, you’ll be afraid of your less than perfect facial features or the fact that you’re leading a life that you’re not proud of.
When you’re proud of yourself, you’ll naturally stand tall and be comfortable in your own skin.
Hence, to be a more masculine man, you have to be a man of integrity. Live a life of honor. Don’t do in private what you can’t do in public.
When you live a life of honor, you’ll walk and live your life like you deserve honor.
5. Resilience
“The purpose of life is finding the largest burden that you can bear and bearing it.” — Jordan Peterson
Jordan Peterson is famous for telling people, especially men, that the best way to grow up is to bear a burden. He likes to say that life is hard, and the best way to make that hardship worth it is to do something worthwhile.
And in the process of doing something difficult, you’re more likely to find yourself and find meaning in life as well.
Without resilience, a man cannot find his place in the world. He is only going to wander aimlessly from one thing to another whenever the going gets tough. And he’ll often distract himself with mindless pleasures.
When you are resilient, you can take on the burden of life with your eyes wide open, as Jordan Peterson likes to say. And in that discomfort, find yourself.
6. The place of purpose in masculinity
At the top of what it takes to be more masculine is your purpose. A man who doesn’t have a purpose is aimless, angry, bitter, resentful, and vengeful. He’s most likely going to be a negative force in the world.
If you’ve followed the path of resilience, mastery of a craft, self-mastery, courage, and integrity, then you’re most likely already on your way to your purpose.
Though your purpose might evolve as you grow, what matters is that you get that gratification, a sense that you’re doing something meaningful. Because without something to justify your existence on earth, you’re most likely going to be miserable most of the time.
A man who is on his purpose is attractive. He’s happy with himself, and he will not have to struggle so much to get a good woman’s attention. We all want to be a part of something bigger.
And if you live like your life is worth something valuable, people will want to be a part of it.
Conclusion
Masculinity isn’t about developing big arms, bullying people, or showing how strong you are to women. It isn’t even about being an alpha male. It’s about character.
It’s not about aggression. It’s about self-awareness and integrity. It’s about the strength of your character. Masculinity isn’t loud and grandiose. It’s about self-control and quiet strength.