How To Be Kind To Extremely Rude People

The golden rule is to take deep breaths, and courteously show them their place.

Have you come across someone who out of nowhere tends to give you their unwanted opinion? I’m sure you have. I have had the opportunity to come across many people who tend to exhibit rude tendencies towards the well being of others and myself as well.

Rude people seem to be everywhere these days. But personally speaking, I’m talking about the ones who can’t just stop rubbing their grandiose perspective on you. It becomes increasingly harder if you are surrounded by people who showcase such behaviors. Commenting on your personality, physique, color and so much more. I mean, why can’t they just mind their business?

Most of these people are shallow-minded. They only see what’s above the surface and don’t necessarily understand or can’t understand the room they are in. They lack the ability to frame their words and at times they usually just speak without thinking. Such words are indeed damaging to us when we are so much self-conscious about ourselves and our circumstances.

People can sometimes even come to a point to give us judgments about our beliefs, our body, and moreover our life without ever knowing who we really are. This can be very damaging to our self-esteem and can also cause us to become anxious in public about ourselves as a whole. Many can agree, that these people are the root cause of people suffering from anxiety in public.

They invade your safe space and push their opinion down your throats violating your self-esteem. This is not good for anyone, for that matter. I usually get judged about my physique — though there is nothing wrong with it I have put on some weight during this pandemic. Recently, I went to my university campus where I was standing in a queue to receive my voucher.

In an instant, a person(male) came across beside my queue and without even introducing himself asked a question, “Which department are you from?”

I replied, “Engineering department, computer science.”

He then said something which was uncalled for, “Umm your belly, you’ve gotten fat. It might be bad for you because your work will involve a lot of sitting.”

(I didn’t know this guy, nor were we acquaintances)

I still startled and taken aback, replied: “what makes you think, that computer science jobs involve sitting on a desk all day?”

He replied with the most common and stupid answer, “well, my cousins and friends work…” — I never wanted his opinion, yet still he dared enough to say that.

To his statement, I looked at my friend with a smile and said “do you go around, scanning people and their bodies? with such rude intent.”

At this moment, he knew that he fucked up, “I asked nicely, which department are you from? if you don’t mind.”

He replied, “I’m from the Civil Engineering department.”

I told him, “It’s a shame, that they don’t teach civility and humbleness these days to students.”

He told me, “I didn’t want to humiliate you or anything. I just…”

I replied, “please, next time — mind your manners and learn ethics when dealing with other people as you lack the civility to do so.”

Now in any given scenario, any other person would have lost their cool. But I suggest treating these foolish people with kindness. They clearly don’t know the difference. They do things without ever properly assessing a situation. They are not smart enough to do so. If you give in to rage, it is not worth it.

Therefore, whenever such people come — I try to show them emphatic kindness. One that at the moment does make them realize, “how little value their words have?” when they stumble my way with ill intent.

The ugly and undeniable truth is that you will find these kinds of people everywhere. Whether they are your relatives, your friends, or even people who you’ve never known. This happens, and the only way we can improve this instance is to educate the masses on how to properly convey something.

Afterward, I walked away with my confidence intact. Why? because I had said by channeling my rage by breathing and rephrasing my words to tell that dude what’s coming for him. If you do not reciprocate it through kindness, that anxiety will certainly break you. Thus release all of that but in a kind manner.

The sad part for me was that I was on the Keto diet when this happened. I am more self-conscious about my body. But getting these remarks was uncalled for. They are much common as most people who tend to pass these remarks are indecent and they speak anything that comes to their mind. I have experienced these forms of unwanted judgments a lot that has built a lot of tolerance.

You can’t change these people unless they realize and change themselves — that’s not happening any time soon.

You can choose to walk away, but these people are daft minded. Sometimes, they will even sit next to you when you show them their place. They can’t fathom when you abolish their opinions. They are pretty insecure and would even ruin your peace. Their behaviors are childish and when it comes to their words — they are vulgar.

It becomes easier in time, but remember don’t let anyone tell you what can or can not do. These people are everywhere, but you don’t need to value their words and opinions. Display courage, and an attitude of emphatic kindness. You will be alright. Use the rage to fuel your kindness, breathe deeply, and walk away. Do not engage in a prolonged conversation with these people. They are not good for anyone.

It is better to show emphatic kindness, and let them know that their words have no place towards well being. Thus, move forwards with confidence and zest and let no one mess with you — with a smile on your face.

The Takeaway

• Take deep breaths, and relax.
• Understand their argument, and ask them a constructive question.
• Break their indecency by showing them their true nature.
• Put them in their place, and walk away with confidence.