How To Be Happy in Three Steps

Follow the A — A — A road to happiness

God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. — The Serenity Prayer by Reinhold Niebuhr

This has been the maxim of my life. It has helped me ward off illnesses, mental depression and kept me in a happy frame of mind. Today six and a half decades later, I am as fit as a fiddle (touch wood). No diabetes, no high blood pressure, no heart or other chronic ailments and no mental issues like dementia. I hope to remain like this for whatever is the remaining portion of my life.

So what do I do to be in this state of happiness and contentment? I follow the three As:

ASK

What is it that will make me happy NOW? I make a list of everything that I want to make me happy. This is my positive list of items. My list is very specific and achievable in a short span of time (days, weeks or months). I am not concerned about long term achievements. If I proceed step by step, I believe I will soon be able to see the goalpost in the distance.

What is it that makes me unhappy NOW? I make a list of everyone and everything that makes me unhappy — my negative list. Again the list is specific and achievable in the near future. Who do I count as toxic persons? What is it I am doing that I do not like? What is it that I want to do but am unable to do so?

I write down each of these and stick them up on the board.

ACT

Then I get to work on my lists. I know I can change only those that are under my control. Also, each item on this list will require its own unique solution.

ACCEPT

There are items on the list I cannot change. I may not like my boss or my mother-in-law. But I cannot go around shooting my boss or drowning my mum-in-law. I have to accept what I cannot change. Of course, I can make arrangements to get another job or a transfer to another location. I can rent another house for my lovable mother-in-law.

REPEAT

Unfortunately, life doesn’t end there. Problems keep coming. This is where staying positive helps. If an issue arises, I look for a solution. Worrying never helps. I make a fresh list of what bugs me and I try to find ways to get rid of it. Then I go ahead and get rid of it.

I do not waste time on pep talks. Who am I trying to delude?

I focus on the here and now. There is no point regretting the past and also worrying about the future. What matters is what I am doing to make myself happy right this second.

As I grow older, I find that I need less and less items in my positive and negative lists to keep me happy. I am relaxed and contented with what I have achieved and what I have at present. This is what I think is happiness. As the WHO puts it:

Health is a state of complete physical, mental, social and spiritual well-being and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity.

These are my stories. Enjoy reading them.

Until next time ………….. Cheers.