BALANCED LIFE

How To Be Good Enough

Can We Prevent Burnout Through Self-Belief?

Within my work as a counsellor & coach, the feeling of not being good enough is something that is shared by many of my clients. Taking off my professional hat, I relate to it all too well myself.

Whether it’s through ‘imposter syndrome’ within my work, a lack of confidence in my ability to speak publicly, or through my appearance and my sense of worth, I too still get times when I simply do not feel good enough.

What I notice during these moments is my need to do more. To make more of an effort or to push my limits to breaking point to ensure that I get everything completed as perfectly as possible. The fear of being judged as ‘less than’ is the biggest motivator for me to do & be more than I am.

Why does this pull become so strong?

When people become so focused on external validation, for others to see only the best in them, or to feel that wonderful sensation of acceptance & pride from another; it can become their defining standard.

On top of this, there are often cultural & societal messages passed down through the generations that foster a belief that you have to work hard to be seen & respected & to earn that top salary.

In many professions being seen as being busy is a bragging right & is something to aim for. There is such a sense of pride associated with being too busy to eat lunch or being unable to leave the office before 9 pm.

When you couple these pressures with a feeling of not being good enough, the risk of heading straight towards burnout or chronic stress can be dramatically increased.

When you do not feel good enough in who you are or what you do, there can be an even stronger pull to prove your capabilities to others.

You may take the badge of honour that comes with being too busy & of having a ridiculous workload & then add to it. As a result, you could possibly end up sacrificing every other aspect of your life in this quest to feel good enough.

The irony here though is that when we neglect the other areas of our lives — when we stop looking after ourselves, when we’re sleeping less or not connecting with others as much, we begin to feel even worse about ourselves.

What Can We Do?

Whilst it can be tricky when managing a high-pressured career or a busy life juggling multiple commitments & responsibilities, we can make some changes that can lessen the impact.

Anyone who talks about burnout encourages the need for a balanced life as it can be key in setting healthy boundaries & recognising the importance of self-care & rest.

But we can also take a look at how we feel about ourselves. Are we also being driven by a need for approval? Do we simply not feel good enough so we believe we need to be perfect in order to be accepted & respected by others?

If those feelings of ‘not good enough’ are a driver, then work on that mindset. Find out where those old beliefs stem from & heal those wounds.

Believing in yourself and valuing yourself for who you are isn’t arrogance or an inflated ego, it’s recognising your worth without conditions.

Knowing that you are more than good enough helps to increase your confidence. This enables you to understand the importance of taking care of yourself, recognising your limits & creating boundaries that can prevent and overcome stress or burnout.

I support women with burnout, stress & anxiety. For more information on working with me or accessing my online courses,take a look here

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Thanks for reading, Lynsey x