Summary

The article outlines a methodical approach to building self-confidence and achieving goals by breaking them down into smaller, manageable steps.

Abstract

The article discusses the pitfalls of setting overly ambitious goals and the subsequent impact on self-confidence. It suggests that by setting more realistic expectations and breaking down goals into smaller tasks, individuals can create a more enjoyable and sustainable path to success. The author emphasizes the importance of celebrating each small victory and maintaining perseverance in the face of obstacles. Additionally, the article recommends having an accountability partner to stay motivated and supported throughout the process. This approach is presented as a way to overcome perfectionism and the fear of failure, ultimately leading to personal growth and the achievement of significant goals.

Opinions

The author posits that perfectionism can lead to setting unrealistically high expectations, which often results in self-criticism and giving up on goals.
Small steps are key to making goals seem achievable and less overwhelming, fostering a sense of progress and confidence.
Focusing on the immediate next step rather than the entire journey to the goal can prevent feeling overwhelmed and increase the likelihood of success.
Celebrating each step as a goal in itself reinforces positive behavior and encourages continued progress.
Reflecting on each step taken allows for learning and adjustment without harsh self-judgment.
Perseverance is crucial, as obstacles are inevitable; acknowledging small wins can help maintain motivation.
An accountability partner can provide motivation, support, and a sense of shared purpose, making the pursuit of goals less isolating.

How To Be Confident in Achieving More Goals

Small steps to big wins.

Photo by Pixabay: https://www.pexels.com/photo/action-adult-adventure-agility-260700/

One of the reasons why we sometimes lack self-confidence is because we set ourselves expectations that are too high. Then we become fearful that we may not meet that high bar and we may be judged accordingly.

When we fail to meet our expectations, we then become very self-critical, mentally beating ourselves up and feeling like a failure. Often, at this point, we just give up on whatever it was we were trying to achieve.

This is commonly known as perfectionism and to some extent, we will all more than likely suffer from this at times. It is human nature to want to do well and be a ‘winner’. This is great because we should all strive to be the best we can be. However, when we set the bar unrealistically high, we are just setting ourselves up to fail.

So how about setting ourselves up to learn and grow instead? Ultimately, we will achieve the same result - it might take longer but the journey will be more enjoyable.

Here are five steps to achieving your goals by taking small steps towards them.

1. Break the Goal into Steps

The main benefit of breaking a goal down into smaller parts is that it automatically appears more achievable. Rather than being overwhelmed by the goal, we now only need to get to the next step.

Here is a real example. I had a goal of writing a self-help book during lockdown. Initially, I started writing down everything that came to mind. I had read that if you just keep writing for 1 or 2 hours every day, while transferring words from your head to paper, you can then put it together, and hey presto, you have a book.

This may work for some people, but it didn’t for me. I ended up with lots of words but no structure. I am a person that likes structure in my life.

Book writing, take 2.

I made a framework for my book. I wrote down the subject for each chapter and then the learning point for each chapter. After that, I could add the content, the introduction, and the conclusion.

In other words, I broke my goal of writing a book down into smaller steps. The first ‘goal’ was to write down the subjects I wanted to include, the second was the learning point for each subject, and so on.

2. Focus Only on the Next Step

It is not always necessary to set out the complete set of steps at the beginning. You only need a rough idea of what they are. The important step is the next one you are going to take. That is the step you focus on.

So, with my book, I first focused on the chapters. What was each chapter going to be about? In effect, it was just a list of relevant subjects.

Let’s take another example. Say you want to run a marathon. Your goal is to run the marathon and you may or may not have a finishing time in mind. Now, if you are a novice runner, running non-stop for 26 miles is quite challenging. But, if your first step is buying a pair of running shoes, that should be an easy win for you.

Then, the next step might be to run short distances and build up to running for, say 3 miles. Once you achieve that step, you can move on to the next. What you don’t do is try to run a half marathon before you have achieved running 3 miles. One step at a time.

3. Celebrate Achieving Each Step as though It Were the Goal Itself

Photo by Tirachard Kumtanom: https://www.pexels.com/photo/woman-wearing-black-bra-and-white-tank-top-raising-both-hands-on-top-347135/

Whatever you are trying to achieve, make sure you celebrate every successful step you take. Even if your celebration is just giving yourself a pat on the back.

Also, reflect on the results of each step you take. What has gone well for you? What maybe didn’t go so well? As you reflect, make sure that you don’t start up the self-judgement by focusing too much on anything that didn’t go so well. Just be aware of what you did and what needs to be changed for the next step or the next time you do this.

4. Keep Persevering

The way we build our self-confidence is to practice and persevere. As you move from step to step, getting nearer to achieving your goal, you will come across obstacles. Maybe you didn’t have time to commit to writing the number of words you were intending to write this week. Maybe an injury or illness meant you could not go on your runs as planned.

Obstacles may make you feel like you are not getting anywhere, or even about to fail. At these times you need to look back at how far you have come. How many small wins have you had so far? Even if you have only moved one step forward, that is one step toward the goal. It’s a win.

5. Have an Accountability Partner

It can be useful to have an accountability partner. This is usually, but not always, someone who has the same goal as you, and the idea is that you keep each other on track.

This can be very beneficial as you motivate each other, and you don’t feel like you are doing this on your own. It is important that the person you choose is someone who has your best interests at heart and will support rather than judge you.

“Do not be afraid of growing slowly, be only afraid of standing still.” - Chinese Proverb

We set our goals with the best intentions, but the bigger the goal, the more overwhelmed we can get. By aiming to achieve small steps that will lead to the big goal, we are less likely to feel overwhelmed. If we do not reach the original goal, we are able to take heart from all the steps we did achieve on the way. This means we are more likely to try again, having learned a lot from our journey.