How to Be a Man: What Books About Pick-up Artists Are Really Telling You

A reminder to practice self-love.

Men have become too weak.

We have too little willpower to resist our whims. We indulge in impulse buying, abuse alcohol, and watch porn.

We cannot endure the thought of spending 1 year in the army, yet 2 centuries ago men did 25 years of military service.

We are losing respect for ourselves as our family members, friends, and colleagues mistreat us. We can hardly say no.

To top it all, we are afraid of talking to gorgeous women. When was the last time you cold approached a lady and said straight into her face that you found her attractive?

Let’s put an end to this.

The Right Focus

Let’s be honest. We, men, want to sleep with beautiful women.

Books about pick-up artists are supposed to teach men to meet women and get laid.

Believe it or not, this is the wrong focus.

While the books tell you how to attract women, sex is a distraction.

Try to see the big picture.

The focus of each book about pick-up artists is YOU.

‘You’ equals your personality and masculinity.

The book Be Relentless by David X says it right there in the beginning:

‘I’m on the road of life, and I know where I’m going. If she wants to come with me, then she is welcome. I’m not going down her road, I’m going down my road.’

You always have yourself, while people in your life come and go.

Prioritize yourself. Here’s how to regain your masculinity.

1. Do Hard Things

You don’t need bulging biceps and a well-defined six-pack that could rival Arnold Schwarzenegger’s legendary physique.

We tend to associate masculinity with traditional manly traits — physical and emotional strength, independence, and courage. Some guys are born with them. But masculinity can also be learned.

You build your character by doing hard things. For some, it’s studying for the bar exam at the end of law school, for others breaking the latest world record in the 100 m sprint.

Although willpower is important, your success depends more on your goals and the associated emotional response to them.

For some it’s OK not to succeed as a writer on Medium. For others it’s a big deal. So big that they put in hours of work every day to get better.

The best way to achieve your goals is to visualize your success and failure beforehand by letting your emotional response settle in.

Savor the moment of success, then get miserable by imagining you’ve failed. It’ll give you a strong push once you begin to act.

2. Make These Things Part of Your Lifestyle

Nature helps us understand where to look for masculinity. Testosterone is the most important hormone for men. A good level of testosterone makes us appear more ‘traditionally’ manly due to muscle mass, facial and body hair, and deep voice.

But be careful.

• Too much testosterone and men become aggressive and focused on sex.
• Too little testosterone and men have health problems — low sex drive, fatigue, depression, and weak bones.

Learning to balance testosterone is the first step toward your masculinity.

Three things are most effective at stabilizing your testosterone level:

• sports
• sleep
• eggs

Adopt an active lifestyle that allows for at least 100 minutes of physical exercises a week, be it hiking, running, or weightlifting. The human body was made to walk, run, and jump. Use it like this.

Give yourself 7 to 9 hours of quality sleep a day to recover after mental and physical activity. You should wake up with an urge to attack the new day, not let it attack you.

Make eggs part of your nutrition by consuming one egg a day. Eggs are essential for testosterone production due to the high-quality proteins and cholesterol they contain. Eggs are also rich in vitamin D, necessary for optimal testosterone levels.

3. Quit These Destructive Habits

While your body doesn’t benefit from alcohol consumption, the long-term effects of booze are horrifying.

Beer is a popular drink that contains estrogen. It’s considered a female hormone, although the male body contains it too.

An imbalance in estrogen level will make you less fit and more overweight. You’ll lose libido too.

The changes in your physical health will affect your mental health. Compulsive beer drinkers aren’t known for their emotional strength. In short, they stop acting like men.

I recommend quitting alcohol altogether.

Once you’re done with alcohol, give up smoking. It’s not hard.

I smoked for 6 years and gave it up from one day to the next after reading the book Easy Way to Stop Smoking by Allen Carr. The author convinces you that a smoker’s body is much less dependent on nicotine than assumed. You’ll never want to smoke again. Checked myself.

Smoking reduces your physical performance. You’re often out of breath. Workouts are not for you.

Smoking also damages the testes, the organs responsible for producing testosterone.

You know how all this affects your testosterone.

“Smoking is hateful to the nose, harmful to the brain, and dangerous to the lungs.” — King James I

Porn ruins your mental health too by transforming your perception of reality. You see ‘perfectly’ looking women (by today’s standards) on the screen and expect to sleep with them.

Guess what? That’s not gonna happen. You simply won’t meet them in everyday life.

You should find a partner among ‘normal’ ladies. But there’s a catch. Guys who watch porn don’t get erect when sleeping with ‘normal’ ladies.

So they stop sleeping with women.

Here’s the proof: Sexual inactivity among young men rose from 19 to 31 percent as compared to 20 years ago.

How is this possible in a world where meeting new people takes a few clicks?

Bottom Line

Be fulfilled on your own. Your well-being and masculinity depend on your love for yourself. You always come first.

Look after your physical and mental health by doing the ‘right’ thing, not the thing that ‘feels good’. You’ll be amazed to see your entire life begin to change for the better.

Love yourself and people will love you.

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