Summary

The article "How to Be a ‘Hot Girl’" redefines the concept of being a "Hot Girl" in a modern, empowering context that emphasizes self-acceptance, individuality, and confidence beyond traditional male-centric fantasies.

Abstract

The guide "How to Be a ‘Hot Girl’" challenges the conventional stereotypes of what constitutes a "Hot Girl" by encouraging women to embrace their authentic selves, acknowledging that not everyone will like them, and rejecting the notion of "basic" interests. It argues that being a "Hot Girl" is about confidence and enjoying life on one's own terms, rather than conforming to societal expectations or male fantasies. The article emphasizes that being awkward or making mistakes does not diminish one's confidence or allure, and it encourages women to break away from limiting tropes and be the main characters of their own stories, making choices for themselves without seeking approval from others.

Opinions

The traditional "Hot Girl" image is a male fantasy that does not represent real women or their diverse interests and personalities.
Authenticity is key; being true to oneself is more important than trying to fit into someone else's idea of attractive or interesting.
The pressure to be universally liked should be resisted; it's okay if not everyone approves of you.
The concept of "basic" should be abandoned as it is a restrictive label that undermines individual preferences and interests.
Confidence can coexist with awkwardness; embracing one's quirks and imperfections is part of being a "Hot Girl."
Women should not be confined to stereotypical roles or tropes, such as the "Femme Fatale" or "Girl Next Door," but should instead focus on their unique identities.
The "Hot Girl" ethos is about living life unapologetically and making choices based on personal desires and happiness, not external validation.

How to Be a ‘Hot Girl’

A definitive guide from one hot girl to another.

I type this article as I come out from under my rock, a comfortable yet self-destructive rock full of binging on How I Met Your Mother, dark chocolates and talking to men I’m not really into. Struck with a bad case of writer’s block, not only I felt less motivated, but maybe also a little less myself.

So, a thought might come to you that maybe you shouldn’t be listening to a girl who feels more of a hot mess than a Hot Girl.

And you’d still see dozens of articles, books, even get unsolicited opinions on how to be a (fascinating) woman. The only problem with this? It’s a fantasy.

Then again, that’s the whole point of being a Hot Girl in 2021. Still don’t get it? Take a chair and grab a pencil.

A hot girl wears matching lingerie, always. I don’t care how, get your laundry schedule together, girl. A hot girl makes men’s heads turn to the point that they almost get run over by a vehicle. Wear a little make-up, not too much though. Show a little leg, but also leave something to the imagination. Try to show some interest in sports, but also be a little, well, dumb so you can ask the men around you to explain things to you. Then make comments about how cute you find this one athlete and that’s why you like them. Be natural but not in a human way. Stay a mystery.

That’s what I used to think I had to be, to be a hot girl. And you’d still see dozens of articles, books, even get unsolicited opinions on how to be a (fascinating) woman. The only problem with this? It’s a fantasy. More than that, it’s a male fantasy. It didn’t include me, or any other woman for that matter.

That is how you become a fantastical, unreal trope. That is not how you become a Hot Girl.

Remember, not everyone needs to (or will) like you.

The first rule of being a Hot Girl? Just be yourself.

Easy, right? That’s basically the message behind every motivational poster. But it’s easier said than done.

Self-awareness comes hard. Being honest with others comes harder. Being honest with yourself? Hardest.

Even if you have this inherent need to please people around you, adjust everyone’s needs but yours, know that you’ll never be able to make everyone happy. That guy you’ve been seeing but you feel bad about turning him down even though you don’t feel much for him? Let it go. Just because he’s a nice guy doesn’t mean you should be with him.

Whenever you find it hard to say no, remind yourself that not everyone has to like you.

There’s no such thing as basic.

It’s 2021, are we still pulling other women down for liking things like pumpkin spice latte and fairy lights?

Give up this pressure of wanting to be a mystery. You’re a human, after all, not a Christopher Nolan movie, full of twists and turns and complex concepts of time and memory. Don’t go out of your way to be something you don’t really feel like being.

Watch rom-coms on a rainy day. Then maybe even romanticise rain, if you like. Take as many pictures of the sky as you want. Then post them on your Instagram. Eat ice-cream after a break-up. Listen to Ariana Grande, listen to those popular indie bands.

Most of all, give up the concept of “basic”. Trying to “not be basic” is so basic anyway. Just don’t be that girl who tries to be “not like other girls” and you’re good.

Being awkward does not mean you don’t have confidence

So much of the cultural shift that the hot girl trope has noticed over the years is that it has become less of male fantasy and more and more human.

This reminds me of Doja Cat’s song, Boss Bitch which goes like this;

Yeah, ain’t tryna be cool like you. Wobblin’ around in your high heel shoes. I’m clumsy, made friends with the floor.

There’s no shame in admitting you made friends with the floor. Take it from a woman who made friends with her rock bottom. And it didn’t make me any less of a Hot Girl.

Even in the lowest and darkest of days, don’t let yourself forget that you are indeed a Hot Girl, whether you are a Hot Girl in a little black dress or a Hot Girl in a dirty, chocolate-stained hoodie.

You’re not a Trope

So you watched a web series where the main character is a certain type and now you have created a fantasy of living the same life just to win the affections of the love interest of the story. I’ll admit that happens.

And that often carries the question of what kind of a woman are you exactly!

Could you be a sexy Femme Fatale? Materialistic and clever girl, who makes men pay for their wrongdoings.

Could you maybe be a Mean Girl/Queen Bee? All glamourous, calling all the shots and an idol for other women to look up to.

Could you be a Girl Next Door? The girl he never noticed because she sticks to the rules, isn’t trying to be ‘cool’, but falls for her by the end of the movie.

Give it up. The thing about these tropes is that they are (dun, dun, dun, dun) NOT REAL. In fact, it’s dangerous to box people into stereotypes, not just yourself.

You can care a lot about your grades and still like to party. You can break rules one day but conform the next. Work on your individuality. The thing that sets everybody apart from others around them is that they’re not the same people with the same life, ideologies and experiences.

Be the Main Character of your own Story

Ladies, always be having fun. Hot Girls don’t do things that they feel uneasy doing. So, say ‘no’ when you have to. Establish boundaries but keep in mind to also take a stroll outside the comfort zone, once a while.

You’re the main character, not the male protagonist’s love interest, and definitely not some male fantasy.

“It’s just basically about women — and men — just being unapologetically them, just having a good-ass time, hyping up your friends, doing you, not giving a damn about what nobody got to say about it. You definitely have to be a person that can be the life of the party, and, y’know, just a bad bitch.”

— Megan Thee Stallion, explaining ‘Hot Girl Summer’ in an interview.

Be it a Boss Bitch or Hot Girl, all these titles give out the same message; it’s a woman’s choice. You don’t have to like sports just to be taken seriously. You don’t have to like sports to win the affection of men. If you like sports, you do that for yourself. Or anything, for that matter.

You’re a Hot Girl in whatever you wear, wherever you spend your Friday nights, and whoever you want to be.