How To Be a Father… (continued)

These, again, are for me. Some exclusions may apply.

Two years ago (when my kid was 2) I wrote some notes for myself. Whatever I thought I knew about being a dad. Well, guess what… things change. (Hopefully your underwear too. Please stop putting off the laundry.)

Now that this kid is a little older, here’s a refresher course. Or really… an entirely new syllabus. Who are we kidding?!

In whatever order:

Always bring snacks. This has gotten easier with her palate expanding. But it can never hurt to take along a fruit or some goldfish to keep hangry at bay.

Breathe. Still applies. Still do it. Even more.

Potty all the time. Bask in the glory of never changing a diaper again! But potty is often the last thing on her mind, so be sure she went recently or have her just go.

Use your words. Her vocabulary is still growing, but it’s big enough to tell you what’s wrong or what she’s feeling. Encourage the verbal communication. And, same goes for you.

Listen. Now that she’s talking more, remember to also stop and just hear those words. There will be plenty times they’ll surprise you or make you smile.

Spilled milk. She’ll blow bubbles into her milk and get it all over her shirt, pants and the entire seat. Get napkins, get backup clothes from the car, but just get over it. Messes happen, don’t make one of your relationship with her.

Sing out. There’s noticeably less singing — on your part. Your vocals are only welcome “outside.” You are just an audience member now. Sit back and relax, enjoy the show.

Keep dancin’. You are still needed on the dance floor, which can be anywhere there’s music. Grocery store, car, movie credits, you name it. Cut loose, kick off your Sunday shoes and lose your blues.

Make time. You are no longer the center of her universe. Hours spent on the living room rug are history. So, somewhere between dance class, birthday parties and… life, just check-in and spend some quality dad-kid time.

Take time. Shuffling her off to all of the above and maintaining your own day-to-day is still challenging. Schedule yourself some personal downtime (movie matinee, massage, DVR’d baseball, even just Netflix) and just chill.

Break time. Self-love is important, but more is that person you share this little person with. Your partner. Remember before kids? You two spent lots of time together talking, dating, kissing and that thing that got you this little person too. Get a sitter and go out. Enjoy one another again. And again. Still.

Stay silly. The world, and all its pressures and problems, will be upon your little one faster than you even know. Let her enjoy the lighter side of life while young and hopeful enough to believe it’ll always be that way. Smile, be goofy, play and kid around with her. (You could use it just as much as her.)

Just love. You have this small person who literally, figuratively and emotionally looks up to you. Who doesn’t care if you fail or succeed. Put aside all your crap and give her the one thing to last her a lifetime, your love.

You still have the one job. Make her laugh every day. Every day.

Ernio Hernandez is a father by day and father by night (he moonlights as a writer). He chronicles his daughter in “Pull Quotes” of a 4 Year Old. Read more from him at ernio.com.

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