A Catholic practicing Buddism
How to Be a Bodhisattva in These Trying Times
or how to alleviate suffering then make dinner
Jack Kornfield speaking with David Marchese for a New York Times article:
In the Buddhist tradition, there are beings called bodhisattvas. A bodhisattva vows to alleviate suffering and bring blessings in every circumstance. They choose to live with dignity and courage and radiate compassion for all. The beautiful thing is that we can see bodhisattvas all around. We see them in the bravery of the health care workers or the unheralded ones who drive the trucks and stock the shelves of our grocery stores so we can all continue to eat. And now it’s time to add our part to this great dance. This is what we are here for. It’s time to make a vow, to sit quietly, rest your heart and ask, “What is my best intention, my most noble aspiration in this difficult time?” If you quiet yourself, your heart will answer. The answer could be simple: “I vow to be kind no matter what.” And when you find the answer in yourself, write it down and place it somewhere you’ll remember. Then when you feel lost or confused, take a breath and remember that vow. Because it’s time to become the lamp in the darkness, David. Where others hoard, you help. Where others deceive, you stand up for truth. Where others are uncaring, you become kind and respectful. This is what’s possible for us as human beings in this moment.
“What is my best intention, my most noble aspiration [in this difficult time].”
What is my best intention?
My answer came quickly. To be gentle, loving, kind, and respectful to myself and others. My vow. My mantra. No matter what.
I do get pissed. Everyone in my circle knows that I lose my shit often — but I take some time to figure out why, apologize, and begin again. Starting again, and again, and again, is the secret to the bodhisattvas. It isn’t about being perfect. It is about living with intention. Our noble aspiration or intention is our jumping-off point, the place where we come back to center and ground. Like a tree that blows in the wind — my anger/pissedoffness/annoyance are the branches, but my trunk is sturdy in being gentle, loving, kind, and respectful to myself and others.
“To alleviate suffering and bring blessings in every circumstance.”
Today, I did just this. My daughter found out that school is canceled for the rest of the year. No closure for this memorable year. No class trip, no graduation, trying to reschedule confirmation, no 8th-grade dance, AND she already bought the fabulous dress!!! In that moment of her sobbing and using way too many tissues (because they are just as scarce as toilet paper), I dropped everything just to hold her. To be very much in her moment. When she left running from the room, I just stood there feeling the feels of being a container for someone else’s pain. But I didn’t take on the pain, the worry, or the hurt. It’s like I had an extra bucket strapped onto me, and she poured her sorrow into the bucket. This is the first time that I have been able to do this knowingly in the moment.
Mindfulness Teacher=bucket holder.
Today, for the first time ever, I was the bodhisattva I have long admired. It is a start! I’m certainly not walking on water bringing blessings to every circumstance, but today I felt it. Today my vision, my education, the training, and my present moment awareness allowed a taste of experiencing sacredness. I embodied what can’t be explained easily in words.
Now, Dinner
And now it is time for me to make dinner. I will alleviate the suffering of hunger and bring blessings in the way of pancakes, bacon, orange juice, and Michigan maple syrup. That is the natural next step in being a spiritual teacher, right? It is if you chose motherhood as your spiritual path.
In 2019, I decided to have 2020 be a year of renunciation — no social media, booze, or idleness. A year of noticing. A year of practicing what it is like to live fully and sacred. Some days are better than others. I fail and begin anew. I extend grace, then I write about all of it.