Summary

The text discusses the importance of balancing activities one enjoys with those that are necessary, emphasizing strategies to manage tasks that are not preferred.

Abstract

The article "How To Balance Doing What You Love Vs What You Need To Do" delves into the personal experience of the author, who struggled with math, a subject they disliked. Despite the aversion, the author recognized the necessity of excelling in math to achieve larger goals, such as attending a selective high school and later university. The author shares their journey of overcoming this challenge by seeking help, changing their mindset, and finding ways to combine less enjoyable tasks with activities they loved, such as listening to audiobooks while cleaning. The article suggests that embracing necessary tasks without resistance, seeking assistance, and delaying immediate gratification can lead to a more balanced and fulfilling life.

Opinions

How To Balance Doing What You Love Vs What You Need To Do

Combine the two

My dislike for math landed me in trouble more times than I care to remember. Unfinished homework. I gave the dog-eating-homework excuse, or “my textbook book was missing a page” — many times. I still got punished. Duh.

I was poor at math and looked for any way to avoid the subject. I celebrated when the math teacher took a sick off — which was rarely.

But, in 8th grade, we had to sit a national exam. It was a highly valued high school entry exam. Which high school you got admitted to would depend on the mark you scored in this exam.

I could lie to the teacher, but I couldn’t lie to the examiners.

Fear of punishment became less of a motivator. And the fear of missing a slot in the high school of my choice replaced it. I upped my math game.

Luckily, my parents got me a tutor, and the subject felt less scary — for the rest of the year, at least. I scored an A and got into the select high school.

That still did not make me like math.

I struggled through high school with the sciences too. But by then, I knew that how I felt about my least favourite subjects was irrelevant.

Rinse. Repeat.

If I intended to join University, my average score had to be high. An A in English and History would be welcome, but not if it came accompanied by a D in Math and Chemistry. Such polarised performance would land me right below the cut off point.

I made friends with the math and science high performers in my class. I joined their group discussions and was lost in my head as they spoke, most of the time. They were patient with me. The math and science teachers started noticing me. My change of attitude became obvious — I guess. I passed.

I still feel dizzy whenever people get into scientific jargon or complicated math formulas. “Zzzzzzz” is all I hear — like a swarm of bees.

But my school experience taught me to cherish doing what I love and to do what I needed to at the same time. I learned to make peace with my dislike for a task, then get on with it.

I discovered that, in most cases, doing this is temporary. It serves as a bridge to the next thing. Or it allows me more time and freedom to do what I love — now or in the future. And there is no need to create drama around it by resisting.

That is the attitude I adopt when it comes to doing things about which I am not enthusiastic.

Don’t fight it

Don’t fight how you feel about a task or responsibility. You don’t have to will yourself to like it or pretend to enjoy it. If someone else can do it better, and they’re willing, hand it to them. Do what comes easy for you — what leans more towards your strengths.

But if you have to do it, look for a way to make it easier. Ask for help. Seek a mentor, a tutor, or an accountability partner.

Set a reward system. Reward yourself by doing what you enjoy when you complete it. You can allow yourself to do nothing for an hour. Or you can double the time to do your favourite task.

Combine it with something else you love to do.

Cleaning and washing dishes are my least attractive chores. Paying someone to clean is expensive. I love listening to audiobooks.

When I am about to start cleaning, I grab my headphones and a mop and clean as I listen to a book. My focus turns to the book instead of the cleaning. It helps too to think of mopping and wiping surfaces as my daily workout.

Change perspective

We tell ourselves too many stories — most of which are not useful. Sometimes our identities are wrapped in what we don’t like to do, eat, or wear.

But when it comes to whatever we need to do, it’s easier to dive in than to keep thinking about how much we don’t like it.

If your business needs simple bookkeeping, your distaste for math should not stop you from learning how to do it.

Delay Gratification

Assess the cost of not doing what you need to do.

I could get someone to do the cleaning for me, but the cost will be too high. Sacrificing my comfort now is a small price to pay for the financial freedom I aim for in the end.

In the future, that might change. I may find that paying someone to clean is a small price to pay for the comfort I will enjoy. But I will be in a better financial place then than I am now.

To sum up

If it were up to us, we would only choose to do what we love or want. But life doesn’t work that way. Doing what we enjoy and need to do makes for a healthy and balanced life.

It helps to change our attitude through — acknowledging that we may not like it but doing it anyway, combining it with something we love to do, watching the stories we tell ourselves, and delaying gratification.