Summary

The article provides guidance on how to distance oneself from individuals who do not maintain a mentally healthy lifestyle, even if there is a close bond.

Abstract

The article "How to Avoid People Who Don’t Have a Mentally Healthy Lifestyle" discusses strategies for maintaining a mentally healthy lifestyle by distancing oneself from toxic relationships. It emphasizes the importance of assessing one's own mental capacity to handle a relationship, the necessity of cutting off mutual friends to prevent re-entry into a toxic circle, and the benefits of surrounding oneself with mentally healthy individuals. The author shares personal experiences to illustrate the value of self-reflection and the natural emergence of new, positive relationships following a period of loneliness. The article concludes by encouraging readers to prioritize their mental health and offers a resource for developing a writing habit as a potential tool for personal growth.

Opinions

The author believes that maintaining relationships should be based on mutual benefits and that it's crucial to consider the social currency gained versus the emotional toll a relationship may take.
There is a strong opinion against tolerating toxic behavior from friends, particularly when they do not respect one's opinions or use others for personal gain.
The author suggests that mutual friends within a toxic circle may perpetuate negative influences and should also be distanced from to ensure a complete break from toxicity.
A period of solitude is seen as beneficial for personal growth and identity formation, allowing individuals to become stronger on their own.
The article posits that mentally healthy friendships will naturally form once an individual has undergone self-improvement and evolution, leading to higher standards in relationships.
The author expresses that evolving as a person can make one realize the poor quality of past friendships, and that being around better people can significantly improve one's state of mind.

How to Avoid People Who Don’t Have a Mentally Healthy Lifestyle

Even if you’re super close with each other.

Hooray!

You’ve just cut off your toxic-ass circle! Now it’s time for you to unwind. Chill out. Enjoy your newfound mentally healthy lifestyle. The virus that’s crept into your life and caused you to suffer is no more.

That's until…

They call back. Let me guess, you still have the same number as before. They call you enough times until you’re ready to hear them out. The more you speak to them, the more you want to reinstate them into your circle.

Congratulations, you’ve just fallen into the rabbit hole.

Believe it or not, I had the same problem with my old circle. I fell out with them because they were ignorant white trash. They never cared about my opinions. They just wanted me to shut up and agree with everything they said.

Ever since I pulled the plug and blocked their numbers, I couldn’t be any happier. Here’s how you can avoid others who don’t have a mentally healthy lifestyle too.

Step 1: Ask yourself if you have the mental capacity to deal with another relationship with this person.

Everyone has a breaking point.

That breaking point gets lower each time we hit it. Why? Because you’re fed up with this shit! I commend the people who have a high tolerance for bull crap. Your parents taught you to turn the other cheek well.

However, whether we like it or not, relationships aren’t solely based on being great people for each other nowadays.

There has to be some sort of mutual benefit that comes with it. That benefit usually comes as social currency (i.e. money, notoriety).

If the amount of social currency you get from a relationship is less than or equal to your breaking point, don’t even bother trying to work it out. Chances are you’re offering that person a lot more social currency than they can offer you.

Don’t think like a friend in these situations.

You must think logically. It may sound heartless, but how do you know they aren’t thinking about how they’re going to use you in the future if you take them back? That’s a no for me, dawg.

Think of the benefits that person offers and if it’s not much at all, drop them.

Step 2: Cut off any mutual friends you have with each other.

Cliques are a tight-knit group.

It’s a culture. Everyone in the clique has the same morals and values. If you break those morals and values, you’ll be cast out and chastised until the end of time. That happened with me and my high school clique.

We were the cringy band nerds who couldn’t go five seconds without talking about the next marching band show. We had a group chat together. As soon as I found this kid making racist memes in it, I snitched on him to the principal.

I got kicked out immediately.

No one wanted to speak to me anymore. I had to find a different lunch table. Everyone turned on me.

All of those kids were mutual friends of the person I snitched on. It was a dumb mistake on my part. I should’ve known they’d take his side, especially on a topic they don’t care about like racism.

You’ll have lingering problems with the same person if you don’t cut off any mutual friends you have.

When you’re on your mental health journey, a mutual friend could come out of the woodworks and be the middleman between you and the person you’re trying to cut off. Next thing you know, all the negativity from that toxic person rubs off on you again. The mutual friend carries the stank you’re trying to avoid.

Save yourself the energy and cut mutual friends off as well. All they do is make everything more complicated.

Step 3: Surround yourself with other mentally healthy people.

How do you find mentally healthy people?

Well, you wait.

I endured a year and a half of loneliness before I found my current circle. You need that loneliness. To quote Big Sean:

“The magic key is to be strong on your own (so when you) lose your other half you’re never off balance.”

That loneliness was one of the best things that ever happened to me. I didn’t have any friends for a while, but it felt great finding my identity. No one else mattered but me during that time. Trust me, that lonely period doesn’t feel long at all.

Your mentally healthy circle comes in after you’ve done some soul-searching.

You don’t have to seek them out. They just come. I met one of my closest friends in my new circle by enrolling in the same Japanese class. We found out we had more in common and we became buddies from there.

Mentally healthy people will evolve so much to the point where you don’t think about your old circle anymore.

I never think about my old friends.

I’ve evolved so much as a person with my new circle that I felt dumb being friends with those people in the first place. You’ll feel the same way too as you evolve. Being around better people puts you in a different state of mind.

You’ll have higher relationship standards which dissolve your old friend group.

Final Thought

Avoiding mentally unhealthy people is a process.

It can’t happen at the snap of your finger because it takes a bit of growth. Hopefully, this post has sped up your process. Remember, ask yourself if you have the mental capacity to deal with that person, cut off any mutual friends you have, and surround yourself with other mentally healthy people.

Your mental health is too valuable for toxicity.

Do you want to start a writing habit?

Get my free writing guide that can teach you how to build a writing habit in 90 days or less here.