How to Avoid a Tinder Swindler: The Ultimate Guide

Finding the right person for you is hard.

It takes time and a monumental effort to find them. It's not like the right person is just going to fall on your lap.

Some rely on recommendations from family, friends, and people they can trust. Some prefer to wait and let the right person come to them. Others rely on apps like Tinder and Bumble.

But whatever the case, you have to be willing to put yourself out there, expose yourself, and meet new people, which can be a good or bad thing.

On the one hand, you get to meet many lovely people and make new friends, which increases the chance that you'll meet the right one.

On the other, you make yourself vulnerable and exposed to the opposite end of the spectrum as well: The scums of the earth — people like the Tinder Swindler.

You want to avoid liars, manipulators, and (gasp) swindlers.

(SPOILERS UP AHEAD)

It's hard to say when someone is lying

I wished it was this easy to tell when someone is lying or not:

I've seen, heard, and heard about people lying to their partners often, and unfortunately, there's no easy way to determine when someone is lying or not.

The main villain in the documentary, Simon Leviev, who was apparently the son of a billionaire diamond mogul, created a masterful show before the women he was about to con. Let me write it down for you:

• He's always checked into a luxury hotel
• Dressed in an expensive wardrobe
• He treats women to grand lunch or dinner, plus he spends a lot of expensive bottles of drinks when they party
• He takes the women with him on vacations around Europe. They go to destinations like Mykonos, Switzerland, Spain, and Rome.
• He seemingly moves around from country to country with ease
• There are plenty of pictures and videos of him flying around in a private jet. The women even got to ride with him on a plane.
• He apparently has a monthly budget of $15,000 a month for an apartment.
• He apparently lives a dangerous life, has plenty of enemies, and regularly receives threats because the diamond industry is a serious business

If you were one of the women who experienced these first hand, it's not hard to believe that the guy really is a billionaire.

The second part of the show was when he showed a video of him and his "bodyguard" in an ambulance after surviving an apparent attempt on his life.

He tells his victims that his life is in danger, that there was a security breach, and that he can't use his cards for security for fear of being tracked by his enemies. He then asks his victims for money to temporarily "sustain" him and his team while sorting out the mess, whether in cash or credit card.

As masterful as this presentation was, if the women in the story followed these tips, they would have had a better chance of sniffing out the bullshit.

1. Listen with your eyes

Paying attention to detail is one thing. Analyzing what you see and hear is another.

You don't have to have a super good memory to see the disconnect between what Simon Leviev is saying from what he's doing.

The first sign that Simon was lying was regarding the use of Tinder.

The first character in the documentary, Cecilie, admits that she's a Tinder expert. She noticed Simon changed his profile pics a few times, so she knows he's been active online, but he's not communicating with her through call or text.

When she confronted Simon about this, he said he deleted his app and was not using it anymore.

Next, he's "the son of a billionaire."

I don't know any billionaires. But I'm pretty sure that if they get into a financial bind, they're not going to ask middle-class people like you and me for money. That's a big red Norwegian flag right there.

They would probably ask other billionaires for help (his billionaire dad perhaps?) or even some of their millionaire friends, but you and me? Very unlikely.

Lastly, it's hard for me to believe that he can write a check worth $250,000 for Cecilie, but he needs to borrow cash from her.

Somehow, a billionaire who has all the resources and assets in the world, who probably has a competent team working for him, cannot get an assistant or secretary to send him money?

Poor judgment? Lack of common sense? Not trusting their gut feeling? All of the above?

Whatever it is, watch out for this one…

2. Beware of confirmation bias

Cecilie has been on a private jet with Simon; she's been treated to a feast on the plane, checked into a luxury hotel with him, received dozens of flowers, has seen Simon fly to any city anytime he wants. All tangible evidence of someone's wealth, right?

I can almost hear her saying:

"But he's rich, and he can surely pay me back the money."

That's the danger with confirmation bias. Simon put on a fantastic illusion of wealth. When there came new evidence of trouble, like the son of a billionaire borrowing money, Cecilie ignored the warning signs and continued to believe Simon.

She was getting more nervous each time she borrowed money from banks to finance Simon's Ponzi scheme. What's worse, she continued to lend him money even after he did not pay the initial loan of $25,000. Right there, she knew in her gut there was a problem, but she chose to ignore it.

If she followed her instinct, she would've been down $25,000 "only" instead of $250,000.

3. Continue asking questions

You want to ask questions to get more information. The more information you have about someone, the better judgment you can make based on their words and actions (see tip #1)

I find it odd that none of the three women seemed to ask “have you tried asking your dad for help?” when clearly, they’re in no position to lend so much money.

I have so many questions to ask Simon.

Have you contacted the police?

What’s the plan of your security team?

If his life is in danger, who’s helping him?

More bullshit would’ve come out of his mouth if the girls pressed for more details, which should ring alarm bells left and right.

(This makes me ask, is this documentary for real? It’s hard to believe when there are so many holes in the story. But since VG, the largest newspaper in Norway broke the news, I’m giving them the benefit of the doubt).

Keep your eyes and ears open

You might not encounter a situation as over the top as the Tinder Swindler, however, you could be dating or in a relationship with somebody who is putting on a show for you so you’d believe their lies.

Listen with your eyes, look for inconsistencies with their words or actions.

Beware of confirmation bias and be open to new evidence.

Continue asking questions to get more information.

You might not detect 100% of the time if someone is lying to you, but you would have a much better chance.

PS — I hope Netflix donates to the GoFundMe page of the girls.

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