How to Avoid a Pre-designed Life and Make Your Own Rules

Escape the matrix

My old friend from university has contacted me recently. She is depressed and suicidal.

We studied at the same university, and she continued an academic career there. She achieved all academic goals and titles. She is married, has a child, and a house.

And yet, she is so unhappy.

I earned my Ph.D. at a different institute and left academia. I left my home country and have been living abroad for 20 years. I have changed careers many times and failed a lot.

But I am one of the happiest people alive.

On the contrary, my friend does not see any sense of living.

Most people pursue a pre-designed life as a guarantee of stability. But stability and status games are an illusion and can be dangerous. They serve only a narrow group of people.

You can create your own path, and I will guide you toward making your own rules.

Recognizing the pre-designed life

We are all brainwashed into the idea that the only way of life is to go to school, get a diploma, get married, have kids, work for 40 or more years, and then retire.

This system used to work (to some extent), but the economy and the world have changed. The mindset and institutions did not change at all.

Humans are still evolutionary hunters and are not designed to spend life in cubicles. And then ¨rest¨ watching TV or video games. This is simply against our nature.

We need genuine stimulation. So obstacles and problems are a natural part of life. We are problem solvers and must live in a community where we exchange our services and products.

We are all natural entrepreneurs. The system we live in was created for factory workers during the Industrial Revolution, and not much has changed since.

That is reflected in the wealth distribution.

Most people follow the predesigned life path and end up miserable. I was one of them, but I managed to escape it.

The risks of pre-designed life

While participating in this pre-designed life, I spent the entire time working and commuting (about 3–4 hours daily). So, I was left with little or no time for myself after paying the bills with no money.

Living like that does not allow us to grow and evolve.

That way of life leads to frustration and many problems, including:

• Lack of fulfillment
• Suppressed passions
• Physical exhaustion
• Mental health problems
• Increased probability of drug and alcohol addiction

Sometimes, you must endure much pain to get on the right path. But I am not the only one who suffered significantly living that pre-designed life. Most people do, but they are too afraid to talk about it.

They are too afraid of being ridiculed or ostracized. When you go through so much pain, you do not care anymore.

Fortunately, they are better ways of living, and you can embrace them.

Awakening your own desires

If you do not create your own path, somebody else will. You know from the autopsy that all your family members, teachers, and friends know better how you should live your life.

Most likely, you follow that imprinted path without even realizing it.

Have you ever tried to break the rules and questioned the status quo? And you heard in reply to your bald and exciting dreams: ¨be realistic¨.

With a family or friends like that, who needs enemies? But that is how it works. Almost everyone will cut off your wings.

Sooner or later, you will ditch your dream killers and get read of these toxic people, even if they are your own family.

I did and never felt better.

You will find friends more aligned with your new chapter of life. Successful people have only a few friends and are very selective.

Be brutally honest with yourself and think about your:

• Goals
• Values
• Desires

Helpful methods

We are so busy and distracted that pursuing an inward journey to ourselves may be challenging. You must peel off all the layers forced onto you by schooling systems, institutions, corporations, jobs, family, and government.

Try regular journaling, meditation, or simply contact with nature. Traveling is the best university. I learned more during my travels and living abroad than during 21 years of my formal education.

Being abroad also gives you another perspective. You can create your new life abroad. I highly recommend it.

Crafting your own rules

Embarking on the journey to live by your own rules is scary and exciting at the same time. It is also a process.

Life is never linear and binary. It is more entropy.

Define your values and priorities

Start by identifying what truly matters to you. Ask yourself:

• What drives you?
• What are your core values?
• Is it freedom, creativity, family, innovation, or something else?

Understanding your beliefs is like setting a compass. It guides your decisions and shapes your path.

Set personal goals based on your passions.

Use your values as a foundation to define your personal goals. That should not be what society or family expects but what you want to achieve.

Some examples:

• Mastering an art
• Starting a business
• Traveling the world
• Let your interests lead the way
• Making a difference in your community
• And anything else only you can come up with

Create a flexible plan

Life is unpredictable, and following a rigid plan can only create frustration. Instead, create a roadmap for achieving your goals. Focus more on actions and execution.

This plan should allow learning and pivoting. Being open-minded and accepting changes will help you. Embrace the journey, which may lead you to a different destination.

Establish boundaries

Living by your own rules means saying ¨no¨. You must establish boundaries that save your precious time, energy, and mental health.

Saying ¨no¨ may involve declining commitments that do not align with your values or limiting time with people who drain your energy.

Say ¨no¨ to everything that will not benefit you financially or emotionally in the long term. Sometimes, even quick financial gains may not help you long-term.

Embrace learning and growth

Stepping off the beaten path can be scary and requires learning. Embrace both successes and failures as an opportunity to grow.

We are brainwashed in the education system to avoid failure. But without failure, there is no learning or growth.

I wrote for years without making a cent, but I was developing my skills, which allowed me to quit my last job (which I hated).

Stay curious and open-minded, seeking knowledge and skills that support your goals and enrich your life.

Find your community

Information on almost any topic on the planet is abundant. Search for your tribe and find an online community supporting your values and lifestyle.

Joining your community will help you in many aspects of your journey. Look for inspiration, support, and connecting with like-minded people on a similar journey.

You do not have to do it alone. There are more people like you, and you can connect with them, no matter how unique, weird, or alienated you think you are. Find your tribe, and they will understand you.

Practice resilience

Anything worth pursuing is always challenging. You will face many challenges, and many things will go differently than you initially thought.

The only difference when facing problems is your mindset. Keep it positive, focus on solutions, and remember why you do this—a strong ¨why¨ will get you through difficult times.

Celebrate your uniqueness

Take pride in the life you are creating. It is a unique path that reflects your individuality. Celebrate every little success and giant leap.

By living authentically, you enrich your own life and inspire others to consider what crafting their own rules could look like.

The rewards of living authentically

Living life by your own rules has many benefits:

• A more profound sense of fulfillment. You feel deep fulfillment when your actions meet your core values and passions. This fulfillment is the foundation of a meaningful life.
• Enhanced self-confidence. Each step taken on your own terms boosts your self-esteem. You feel more at ease in your own skin, knowing you can make decisions representing yourself.
• Increased resilience. Living authentically needs courage and resilience, skills that develop over time. You’ll discover that you’re better prepared to confront life’s obstacles, not because they get easier, but because you’ve repeatedly demonstrated that you can overcome them.
• Authentic relationships. By being authentic, you attract people who value the real you. Because authentic encounters are the foundation of your relationships, they deepen and become more meaningful. This will help you in business and your personal life.
• Creative freedom. When the expectations of others do not constrain you, you get a new degree of creative freedom that may be pretty freeing. This independence allows you to experiment, invent, and express yourself in ways that reflect your genuine identity.
• A legacy of inspiration. Living by your rules sets a powerful example for others. You become a beacon of possibilities for creating a fulfilling life outside the conventional norms.
• Inner peace. Perhaps one of the most significant benefits is the inner calm that comes with sincerity. The constant struggle to conform, please others, or meet societal norms fades, replaced by a peaceful acceptance of your unique journey.
• Continuous growth and discovery. The true path is one of ongoing development and self-discovery. As you evolve, so will your dreams, goals, aspirations, and definition of success. Nothing is permanent or set in stone in life. Remember that.
• Improved mental and physical health. When you live authentically, you control your time and actions. That allows you to exercise, walk, eat healthily, avoid stress and depression associated with jobs, and conform to societal expectations.

Conclusion

The pre-designed model most people live in can lead to severe mental and physical problems if it does not align with your core values and goals.

It was designed for factory workers during the Industrial Revolution, and this model is inadequate for today’s creative minds and idea generators.

It does not serve the planet, as pollution and climate change result from this old, aggressive exploitation system. Since around 1500, approximately 881 animal species have gone extinct, with 592 species suspected of extinction. And even humans may become extinct sooner than you think without a healthy natural environment.

Fortunately, you do not have to live a pre-designed life and make your own rules to live an authentic, fulfilling life. It will not be easy, but it is worth it, and you can inspire and help others do the same.

Become the person you always wanted to be, and you will discover a new world of opportunities.

The life of authenticity is calling you now.

Discover 5 Powerful Lead Magnets Proven to Boost Your Email List & Grow Your Business

I think that you will also like these stories: