How To Accept That You Have Something to Offer the World.
Jean-Paul Sartre & The Burden of Adulthood.

I promise to try to make this a feel-good article in the end. It is not my intention to rustle feathers or flare panic attacks, but let’s be real for a second; We are in a day and age when humans live much longer than ever before, and likely longer than intended. This is a good thing! but it can also lead to loss of perspective.
At age 25, you stop growing and you start dying.
Yes, I know there are nicer ways to put it, but that’s the truth. It does not mean your life is over, it does not mean you have missed some chance or window. It simply means you have entered a new stage of life. Not only does this bring big changes for you but once you become self-sufficient those in the previous stage of life, from which you have just graduated, are depending on you for guidance, and believe me, you have it in spades.
It is hard for us to realize and even harder for us to accept that the spring of our lives is over, we become surrounded by new and rapidly changing expectations, parental anxiety, and the burden of emulation. I will give you this, accepting your adulthood may be difficult and it may even be a somber moment. However, I can promise it is better than the alternative: spending so much time convincing yourself it’s still spring, that you miss the whole summer.
The youth can walk faster, but the elder knows the road.
-African proverb.
Jean-Paul Sartre was a French philosopher who focused Martin Heidegger’s ideas on being and authenticity through the lens of Existentialism like sunlight through a magnifying glass. Sartre believed in the ultimate freedom of the mind, that every thought should be owned and recognized as a non-relational phenomenon of the self, rather than “God exists” an authentic belief would be “God exists for me.” Sartre rejected Freud’s conception of the psyche and the influence of the unconscious, rather he posited these instincts, though possibly vague, were fully conscious. We have the power to repress, to know, to own, or deny the entirety of our thoughts. We have domain over consciousness and therefore full control in our authenticity, Sartre put great value on personal experience and each individual’s conscious reality. What I experience is real to me. What you experience is real to you.
Sartre’s main takeaway can be summed up like this: Existence precedes essence. You a born a blank slate of possibility. Any meaning, purpose, or higher calling is entirely (and consciously) determined by you. There are no predefined paths, no destiny to fulfill and no expectations to meet. The only one that can determine how you are to live authentically is you. So in order to achieve authenticity, full responsibility must be taken for our life, choices, and action.

“Man is condemned to be free; because once thrown into the world, he is responsible for everything he does.”
- Jean-Paul Sartre
The second you are old enough to act independently you become an example of humanhood and an agent of change. At this point, whether you like it or not. You will be emulated. Not just offspring, siblings, or cousins, everyone whose consciousness you inadvertently enter every time you interact in the world. There is no choice in this matter. Even the recluse or runaway has an impact simply by virtue of their absence. The only choice you have is whether you choose to be aware of this fact and allow it to shape your decisions.
In other words, you either choose to embrace life and live authentically or choose to deny yourself and live inauthentically. There is no in-between, If you believe you can abstain from this choice you are simply repressing the fact that you already chose inauthenticity.
I am going to lead you to the conclusion that you are a worthy example, a competent teacher, and a wealth of knowledge. In addition, that you and I are ready to embrace our roles as full-fledged authentic adults
But first, whether it be due to longer life spans, changing culture, or our materialistic age, let us try to further regain some of this lost perspective on our steadily extending life cycles.
- You Didn’t Even Die.
Are you still alive? Boom. easy one right there. A countless number before you have failed at the feat of reaching your current age. Great Job!
Though we may forget due to the relative comfort and security we enjoy in this century, the most fundamental lessons or skills anyone can teach are those of survival. one can not learn or prosper if one cannot survive. Look how long you’ve been doing it. You must know some tricks.
“You are — your life, and nothing else.”
― Jean-Paul Sartre
2. It Could Be Worse
It is impossible to get into specifics here without alienating some because this pertains to your overall personal perception of your life. However, it is a fun fact that anyone with an imagination can imagine their life being worse. Imagine the decisions you made that prevented you from having that worse life. You did that. Great Job!
“There may be more beautiful times, but this one is ours.”
― Jean-Paul Sartre
3. You May Not Trust Yourself, But Do You Really Trust Others?
Second to survival, the most important impression we can make on the world is that of morality. You have the best morality. It’s true. If someone had a better morality, that would be your morality. Whether you think there are objective rights and wrongs or that morality is entirely your opinion, you still make that choice every second of every day. Obviously, you believe there is some value in your judgments.
The average person seems less intelligent nowadays eh? Well, just imagine that by definition, half of the population isn’t even as smart as that person Think about your useless partner on that school project or that person at the gas station who used the calculator when you paid for $10 in gas with a $20 bill. Surely you are better suited to mold the world and the people in it. Not only that, but you are the best suited to mold your own life. If you do not take control of your life and ownership of your purpose, someone else will. Considering the selection of someones out there, that thought should horrify you.
“Hell is — other people!”
— Jean-Paul Sartre
So, How Do I Live Authentically?
I don’t know, and even if I did I couldn’t tell you. Your authentic self is something only you can conceive of in your own mind. If you try to live authentically according to my standards (or anyone else’s) you have already failed. However, I can offer some more broad advice as to how one may approach the problem.
- Do What You Love, Not What Makes You Loved
This for me (see the ownership?) is the number one rule and the key to the first door in the house of authenticity. So many of the things we do day-to-day are not for us. We choose the degrees our parents would like to see, we move to the towns our friends invite us to, we take the jobs that we think society would admire. We rarely live for the self. The first step to authenticity in my humble opinion is to learn what you love (YOU love, only you, because of you) and pursue it vigorously.
“Smooth and smiling faces everywhere, but ruin in their eyes.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre
2. Know What You Know
Give yourself some credit. You know some things. You do not have to share every piece of conflicting knowledge you have, but do not lie to yourself. Do NOT let people know things for you. Only you can determine what things mean and how they will ripple in your life. To let your words and actions contradict your thoughts and beliefs is to create a false self. Similarly, to feign knowledge out of pride or to make decisions/assumptions based on others’ purported knowledge is to revel in inauthenticity.
“The more sand that has escaped from the hourglass of our life, the clearer we should see through it.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre
3. Take Extreme Ownership
Own everything, and I mean everything. If there is something about yourself that you feel ashamed of owning, that you feel you want to deny then I would take a long hard look at whether that action or interest is of an authentic origin. In other words, You are the judge of right and wrong, correct and incorrect. If there is something about you that brings you shame, the shame either originates from the act or thought being inauthentic itself, or the hiding and denying of it. Either own it or throw it. Period. No more character purgatory or tentative beliefs.
“If you’re lonely when you’re alone, you’re in bad company.” ― Jean-Paul Sartre
Bonus Motivation
I would like to leave you with some final inspiration. A sort of kick in the butt to get you off yours and taking control of your life. It seems to me that there are some common reasons we tell ourselves no. For any naysayers out there I would like to present the following three groups of people: those who said “yes” from day one, those who never stopped saying “yes”, and those who had a “no”, turn into a “yes.”
You Are Never Too Young
- Alexander The Great was conquering countries by 18.
2. Blaise Pascal created a calculator at 19.
3. Mozart wrote his first symphony at 8 years old.
4. Somborno Bari became a professor of physics at 8 years old.
5. Joan of Arc turned the tide of a war at 17.
It Is Never Too Late
- Colonel Sanders, after little sucess in life, found KFC at 65 years old.
- Einstein was considered a goof-off in college, he was depressed and wanted to quit to sell insurance.
- Stan Lee didn’t create his first comic until he was 39.
- At Age 100, Teiichi Igarashi Climbed Mt. Fuji
- Abraham Lincoln left for war as a Captain and returned a Private.
It’s Okay To Make Mistakes
- Alexander Flemming discoverd Pencilin when he forgot his petri dish in a dirty sink.
- Steven Spielberg was rejected twice from the University of Southern California’s School of Cinema.
- Steven King’s first novel was rejected 30 times.
- Michael Jordan was cut from his high school basketball team.
- Dr. Suess’s first book was rejected 27 times.

