How To Accept That Bittersweet Feeling After Achieving Your Goal
Four simple steps to help you deal with endings.
So many articles out there teach you how to achieve your goals. But very few extend their helping hands beyond that monumental milestone.
Why would I need help once my wildest dream has come true, you might ask?
Well, think about it. You spent days, weeks, months, or maybe even years dreaming about something. It might be a career change, a new fulfilling relationship, a profitable business, a new client, a baby, anything.
Your energy, when awake and when asleep, feeds that goal. All your actions, conscious or not, are helping to bring that dream ever so closer to make it a reality.
And then one day — boom! — and you have it, just like that. Your wish, your dream, your goal has come true. After a moment or two of pure joy and elation, and a bit of bubbly or hot chocolate, you are back to reality.
“Everything has to come to an end, sometime.” ― L. Frank Baum, The Marvelous Land of Oz
And what does your reality look like? Think about it. It looks empty. Instead of that dream, that goal that occupied a big important place in your life — there is nothing.
But my dream has come true! I am happy now, you might think.
And you will be right.
But hear me out — how long can you physically remain in a state of true happiness?
Happiness is fleeting.
Your default setting was that of an athlete, with the next gold medal on one’s mind. And now it’s hanging on your neck; it’s heaviness reminding you about your achievement.
And no matter how happy this dream come true makes you, feeling sad is inevitable. Because something has just ended, it’s a transformative event. And any change — good or bad — comes with a spoonful of discomfort. Don’t be afraid and don’t feel guilty about it. It’s quite normal.
So how to make those days after your goal have come true, more fulfilling, and less uncomfortable?
Acknowledge your feelings
Once the dream comes true, it’s no longer a dream; it’s a reality. So allow yourself some time to think about this transition from a dream to reality, accept it, and let go.
Acknowledge your feelings, whatever they are. You might feel sad, elated, fidgety, anxious, ready to start something else. Or you might feel utterly exhausted and relieved it’s over. Or you might feel nothing. Whatever it is — acknowledge and accept.
Pause and reflect
Achieving a goal might feel akin to an empty nest syndrome. It might feel like everything is there, everyone is well and healthy, but something is missing. You need time to accept your dream has flown ‘the nest’.
Now pause for a bit and reflect on where you are and where you’ve come from. The road towards this goal was difficult, but you made it. You are here. If you feel the need — reflect on the steps you took to get here. Think if you can pinpoint the turning point. Try to remember what sort of doubts you had. Write it all down. This simple, journaling practice will serve two purposes:
- It will help you live through and subsequently let go of the ending of this chapter of your life.
- Capture lessons learned for your future goals.
Do not rush into your next dream
Do not start working on your next goal, straightaway. By doing so, you might overwhelm your senses. Think about it as a relationship ending. Even though it might seem like a good idea to get a new partner, the minute the old one walks out on you, but deep inside, you know that it’s not a good idea. You are still too vulnerable; the memories are too fresh.
Similar tactics work when you achieve a long-awaited goal. Give yourself some time to get over it, to get used to that goal not being there anymore. Give yourself time to accept the change.
Spend a few days resting, relaxing, observing. Not doing much. Not straining yourself. Not trying to come up with something new. Not mourning the lack of a dream, not feeling guilty for not having one. Allow yourself to Simply Be.
Step gently into your new goal
And be compassionate with yourself when you feel it’s time to plan your next step, your next goal, idea, dream. Make sure you’ve relaxed and reflected enough. Make sure you are ready — you’ll know when you are — by that itchy butterfly-wings sensation in your chest or tummy. Now go get them, tiger.
Final Thoughts
We all need dreams and goals. They give us direction, purpose, drive. They fuel our day-to-day, break up our mundane routine. And they help us transform our lives by arriving at the elusive endpoint which is not an endpoint but a brief stop.
The end of anything is always somewhat bittersweet. And achieving your goal is not an exception. On the one hand, you finally have what you’ve been pining for. But on the other, you have ample energy rummaging directionless in your body. Those conflicting feelings are normal. Just allow for both of them to take refuge inside of you. And once you are ready — continue your journey towards your next goal.
