How Thinking About Death Changed The Way I Live My Life

Memento Mori. Remember that you will die.

I’ve got some bad news. We’re all going to die. It’s inevitable and there is no way to avoid it. It’s the only prophecy that’s been correct 100% of the time.

Death is something that we must learn to come to terms with. Death is something that we must realize can happen at any time. We’re mortal beings born into this world with a time stamp pressed onto the back of our heads.

So knowing this, you’d think everyone would be trying to do all that they possibly can with their lives. But the harsh truth is that most people live life ignoring that fact. We act like we have all the time in the world when in reality there is a limit to our existence and we can have that taken away at any given moment. Today. Tomorrow. Whenever.

I know thinking about death can be hard for many, but honestly, once you make peace with that idea, the way you live your life can improve in so many ways. I know that it changed mine drastically, and I’ve been exposed to the deaths of many loved ones at a very young age so it became much more clear to me how seriously we should take the moments we spend alive. Thinking about death should empower us and not instill fear. It’s a reminder that we all so desperately need. There is no avoiding it, so you should face this fact. It might be the most life-changing thing that you do for yourself.

Memento Mori

There’s this ancient Roman proverb that many Philosophers (especially the Stoics), Warriors, Politicians, Writers, and many other great people throughout history have used to remind and motivate themselves how important their actions in the present moment are. Memento Mori. Which roughly translates to “Remember You Will Die”. This phrase serves as a reminder for us to keep death at the forefront of our thoughts. Now, why exactly what changes did I see once I started meditating on my mortality?

“If I had my life to live over again, I would form the habit of nightly composing myself to thoughts of death. I would practice, as it were, the remembrance of death. There is not another practice which so intensifies life. Death, when it approaches, ought not to take one by surprise. It should be part of the full expectancy of life.” ― Muriel Spark, Memento Mori

My Time and Others Time Became More Valuable to Me

Life can be very long or life can be short. It really depends on how you live and how you decide to truly spend your time. When I started reminding myself that I would die, the first thing that really came into my mind was time. I used to spend my time as if I had an infinite amount of it. But I’ve come to realize that I’ve missed a ton of opportunity because of that fact.

Time is finite in our lives and should be treated as a currency that we exchange for whatever it is we decide to do. Is what I’m doing right now worth the time I’m spending on it? Scrolling through social media? Watching TV? Did I just sign up for something that I don’t really want to do? Am I somewhere I don’t really want to be? What better things could I really be spending my time on?

Then I began to notice the time other people have and how I didn’t want to waste their time. Every single person around me has as much time as I do in a day and I should value every person’s time as I do my own. So that’s why I try my best to provide value in every interaction I have. In everything I do. In everything I say.

“Time is free, but it’s priceless. You can’t own it, but you can use it. You can’t keep it, but you can spend it. Once you’ve lost it you can never get it back.”

— Harvey Mackay

I Began To Do What Mattered Most To Me

With the idea of the limitation of time ringing constantly in my head, I began to think about everything I do on a daily basis at every moment. Is what I’m doing right now what I’m supposed to be doing? Is there something much better I can spend my time on?

I noticed that a lot of what I fill the gaps of my time with is pretty opposite to what I consider meaningful. I get distracted on youtube watching videos that aren’t exactly helping me. I get distracted scrolling through Instagram feeds and funny videos on TikTok. I get so absorbed in a video game or tv-show that hours pass me by without me noticing. Now, these are okay in moderation, but I’m sure I’m not alone in that we all get carried away with a few these things relatively often. What’s your distraction?

So knowing that my time is limited, I consciously make myself do things more purposefully. Things that make me move towards my goals. Things that help me learn more about the world and what we can make of it. I stop procrastinating, I stop putting things off, I stop making excuses, and I simply begin to do what I believe needs to be done for myself.

So tell me, is the life that you lead any different from you being dead? What are you doing right now to push yourself further? What are you putting off until later? Are you doing what matters to you?

“You could leave life right now. Let that determine what you do and say and think. ”

— Marcus Aurelius

I Stopped Chasing Trivial and Meaningless Goals

What is it that you’re chasing? It could be money, power, perfection, success, happiness, approval, material possession, fame, status, or anything that you’re not. I noticed that what really matters is the meaning behind what we do, not exactly the destination. What is it that drives you? Is it meaningful? I know that it’s not where we want to be that ultimately counts, but the journey along the way to that goal. The relationships we create. The things we learn. The experiences that we become exposed to. Focus more on your experience and what is in front of you.

Is having power or money really going to make me happy when I lay there dying? Is that what I want to be remembered by? Is that what I want to have on my tombstone? Not at all. I want to be known for the impact that I create in other people and the world around me. I want to be remembered for the positive change I put out in the world and the love I exuded, not because of a number in my bank account and the possessions that I had.

With that in mind, I instead pursue goals that allow me to create that effect. It makes me see more value in the work that I already do. It’s important to think about the future and even the past, but it is not okay to dwell on these things. Living outside of myself because I want to become someone or something else.

Stop whatever you’re doing for a moment and ask yourself: Am I afraid of death because I won’t be able to do this anymore?

— Marcus Aurelius

I Became More Grateful For The Life That’s Been Given To Me

When thinking about mortality, we realize that the life we’ve been given is a gift. It’s quite an experience and a privilege to live in this world after all. The probability of any of us existing in the first place is rather absurd. So knowing that I may die tomorrow by unforeseen circumstances, makes me a little more grateful for all the experiences I’ve had so far. It makes me grateful for what I have and for the life that I live.

I can look at another person and truly appreciate their presence and company. I can look at a flower or a diamond and be grateful that nature has gifted man with the perception of such beautiful things. I can be grateful for every single experience I have and every single thing I perceive around me. We have been given so much and just the fact that we’re alive is more than enough to be grateful for. We’re live only one life as far as any of us are concerned, so why not enjoy and appreciate it?

Do not indulge in dreams of having what you have not, but reckon up the chief of the blessings you do possess, and then thankfully remember how you would crave for them if they were not yours.

— Marcus Aurelius

I Began To Care More About My Relationships

When I was around 17, my father passed away from throat cancer. He essentially made me who I am today and I am grateful for everything he had done for me in my youth that basically shaped who I have become. I thought he was invincible and I thought he would grow old to see everything that I ended up accomplishing in my life. But nature had plans of its own.

There are so many things I wish I had said. There’s so much more I wanted to know about him. From this, I learned that we must care about the relationships that we have and push ourselves to form deeper connections with those around us because we have no clue when they’ll be gone. We can’t take the relationships we have for granted. The relationships we have with others and the impact that we have on them are everything. It’s meaningful both to ourselves and that other person.

So not a day goes by where I don’t think about how much I should cherish those that I love and those that I know. The relationships you have are very important and I don’t want to lose any one of them knowing that I didn’t show all the kindness I could have.

“As you kiss your son goodnight whisper to yourself, “He may be dead in the morning”

— Epictetus

Conclusion

Death isn’t something you should be afraid of. The only fear you should have is the fear of leaving life knowing that you didn’t do all that you could have. Didn’t pursue the dreams that you should have. Didn’t show those you care about how much you love them. Didn’t appreciate all that you could have. And worst of all, leaving this world feeling like you wasted your time. The last thing you want is to be on your deathbed full of regret. So meditate on your mortality and remind yourself that your time is limited in this world. Take life seriously, it’s the only one you’ll ever get.