How the Matrix helped me achieve my goals

Last October, I gave up on a goal I’d set earlier that January. Feeling far behind and discouraged, I concluded it wasn’t possible and so I let the goal go.

However, in early December of last year, I reconsidered my goal and decided to go for it again anyway, despite the two months of added difficulty.

Reader, I made it. But more importantly, I learned something worthy of sharing with others about self-belief and follow-through.

According to Letterboxd, I watched 170 films in 2020. By December 22nd 2021, I’d watched 161. I needed to watch ten more films in the next nine days to beat my 2020 record; this after having already engaged in many movie marathons earlier that month — I was tired and running out of time.

But alas, by the stroke of midnight on December 31st, I had watched 176 films in 2021.

From the original goal, to giving up, to the resurrection of self-belief

Reflecting on my progress toward this goal at various points throughout last year, I realised it all comes down to thoughts and feelings. Everything does.

At the start of 2021, the goal seemed easy, anything was possible. The world was open. I felt encouraged and full of self-belief.

For many reasons, by October, I was telling myself ‘this is insurmountable’, which made me feel doubtful, despondent, and discouraged. And so I gave up.

Freed from the burden of accountability to that pledge, in November, I watched several films for fun, but I didn’t feel the need to put any further energy toward the activity. By no means did I close the movie count gap (quite the opposite, actually). During this time, I was also noticing how much I enjoy film — even terrible films — and started feeling that curious draw towards chasing more stories and feeling greater human connection. I was feeling inspired, interested, and intrigued.

By December, having really enjoyed those films in the previous month, I was feeling slightly sad about the lost goal. Was it really lost? What would it take to achieve the goal? What could I do differently starting now? I was feeling encouraged, energised, and excited.

Which is how I found myself believing that it might be possible.

When I decided to resurrect the goal, I chose to watch the best short films I could find — they’re legitimate films after all, so why not count them toward my goal? Quantity over quality. Follow-through over feature length.

What surprised me is that I enjoyed these movies, and as I was embracing film again, I ended up watching much longer ones as well. In fact, the final ~10 films toward my 2021 goal were over 90 minutes!

That is, through rest, creative problem-solving and reconnection, I found energy and motivation to make more time to meet the goal. I also found renewed self-belief by following through on what I chose to recommit to.

The Matrix and self-belief

Many PhD theses have been written about the Matrix and self-belief; I won’t rehash them here. But to say that there’s a qualitative difference between the stance on self-belief that original film takes and the one that Resurrections offers. This difference is marked on-screen through 4th wall breaking that goes beyond a meta-textual awareness that’s a bit too reality-bending, even for the Matrix. Hi Warner Brothers!

Which is to say that the actors in the original are wholly immersed in their self-belief journey, even as they step back to see their worlds from new perspectives. By Resurrections, they’re both aware and wary of this process, and they say as much throughout. It’s less about their journey of self-belief, and more about following through on their obligations to the studio and to themselves as actors and agents in the grand story.

What does this mean for our goals?

When we step back from what we want to achieve, and allow ourselves to rest and gain perspective, we can often gain new energy and find creative ways to encourage ourselves to follow through. We may even exceed our expectations. Sometimes we can reach our goals with less time or effort than previously imagined. And we strengthen our self-belief that anything is possible.

We always have a choice. We get to decide what’s important to us to follow through on. We get to reconsider if that’s still true. We get to recommit to our promises to ourselves. And we can do this anytime we want.

Cinematic representations of self-belief that I wholeheartedly bought into in 2021 (and those I didn’t)

Lastly, because a review post isn’t fun without a list or two, here’s some of my top-rated films that I (re)watched in 2021 — in no particular order . These are films that I rated 5/5 stars and which I feel exemplify various journeys in self-belief and commitment I’ve described above:

🎞️ Bo Burnham: Inside 🍿 Spring 🎞️ The Speed Cubers 🍿 Plus One 🎞️ Once Were Warriors 🍿 La Femme Nikita — rewatch 🎞️ Pig 🍿 The Matrix -rewatch

And here’s some that I felt exemplify the wariness I’ve felt recently and required some real commitment to get all the way through (all rated 2 stars or fewer):

👎 The Matrix: Resurrections 👎 Ghostbusters: Afterlife 👎 Prisoners 👎 Unsane 👎 Low Blow 👎 Birdemic: Shock and Terror 👎 The Girl on the Train* 👎 Society 👎 High-rise (this one actually took me three years to finish) 👎 Sierra Burgess is a Loser

*This is a great example of Emily Blunt’s commitment to follow through despite a terrible script and story. She acted the hell out of this carried it all. Still extremely bad and a slog to finish.

If you’re curious to learn more about how I make time to watch 170+ films a year, read on here: A 3-step process for making the most of your time.

Kim is on a mission to create a world of expert thinkers who are getting their ideas heard, building the careers they want, and are making an impact in all that they do. If you want to get clear about what you’re doing and feel great about it, get all the insights at witten.kim/subscribe