How the Lone Weirdo Becomes the Sought-After Leader

It takes courage to put ourselves on the outside

You are brave!

Yes, you — the person reading this. I know you feel you are different from other people, and the truth is you are different. You feel intensely; you attune to the emotions of others, and sometimes it all gets too much. And yet you are here, trying to be your best and do your best.

You are courageous, honest, and open. You are on a mission to live in accordance with your own truth, and while that journey is tough, it is the most rewarding land you will ever traverse. Your difference is your superpower.

Not everyone can be like you.

Abnormally Normal is a newsletter for people who feel like they don’t fit in. Today I want to talk about what happens when we stop trying to fit in and just let our authentic selves connect with the outside world.

It can be scary to show up as ourselves in a world that prescribes how we should be.

But in the poetic words of James Raven

“Let no moment in life be that which makes you feel less.”

I encourage you to head over to read the rest of this gorgeous poem called Go Bold Into Life.

My word of the year is truth, and I am more determined than ever to live my life in accordance with my own truth. Do you honour your truth?

Admiration for Dancing Guy

It takes courage to stand on the outside and be different.

When one person behaves in a unique way, they are likely to be ridiculed. It is unsafe for those with a herd mentality to leave the comfort of a group and think radically. Therefore they leave the lone weirdo on the outside and turn their backs on them.

The bravest of all is the person who breaks away from the herd and joins the original loner. This starts a collective, a tribe, or even a movement.

This comical but effective YouTube video on leadership highlights the catalytic nature of the first follower.

“The first follower transforms a lone nut.”

Notice the narrator indicates that the risk of social ridicule for joining Dancing Guy reduces as more people participate.

The original Dancing Guy willingly put himself out there. He certainly moves and grooves without any notable inhibition. In the moment when it is just Dancing Guy flexing and bending his body, I suspect most of the onlookers admire his individuality while simultaneously nudging their friend to giggle at his expense. This giggling is more a cover for the recognition that they don’t have the courage to be like Dancing Guy.

When other people shame or mock us, it is more about them than about us. It is their own insecurities at play.

Dancing Guy gets the last laugh. He lived (or rather danced) his truth and ignored the restraints of the social convention of his environment. In doing so, he created a new normal, and suddenly, those not participating were the ones on the outside, the new “weirdos,” as it were.

Dancing Guy went from weirdo to hero. His leadership shifted the group’s culture and changed what was deemed acceptable.

Embrace being the lone weirdo

Life would be very boring if we all stayed within the confines of societal expectations and cultural norms.

Yes, it can feel lonely being the lone weirdo. But if you know your own mind and have your own passions, don’t let anyone piss on your parade. For momentum to build, all it takes is one person to see your value.

I’ve been the lone weirdo on many occasions. And I sure hope I have plenty more opportunities ahead of me to be so again. The way I see it, by putting our heads above the parapet, we serve as beacons for others of similar mindsets. We pave the way for future friends to walk in a similar direction to us.

From a personal perspective, my overt actions of being the lone weirdo serve as bait for kindred spirits to identify themselves and join me in forming a community.

I suspect most of the world’s entrepreneurs, philanthropists, and thinkers started off as lone weirdos!

Imagine if Dancing Guy had sat quietly on the grass with everyone else. The amoeba of connection wouldn’t have evolved, and by suppressing his truth — his urge to move — the whole collective of spirits would have missed out on something spectacular.

Dancing Guy certainly adhered to James Raven’s poem; he didn’t let this moment make him feel less. He had the courage to be the first one dancing with abandonment without the guarantee of anyone joining him.

Dancing Guy lived his truth regardless of other people. This is something we can all aspire to do.

Have you been a lone weirdo? Have you built a community or created a movement? Even a simple momentum shift? I’d love to hear your input in the comments.

More from Abnormally Normal

This article was initially published on Substack. If you enjoyed this piece, please subscribe to the Abnormally Normal Newsletter. A substack newsletter with weekly word hugs for everyone who feels they don’t fit in.

🙏Thank you for reading my story Ali Hall

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