How the ‘Let Them’ Theory Will Restore Your Peace and Give You Ultimate Clarity

Utilising serenity to accept the things we cannot change

The ‘let them’ theory has transformed my life over the past 8 months.

It promotes the psychological shift of helping you let go.

“The fastest way to take control of your life is to stop controlling everyone around you.” — Mel Robbins.

Seeking control erodes the mind

It’s easy to fall into the trap of paying too much attention to what others are doing around you especially if you’re a naturally anxious person.

Commonly our desire for control stems from a place of kindness and empathy, wanting to look out for a person’s best interests.

However, observing inconsistencies in others’ behaviour can initiate a spiral of worrying, leaving you trying to predict how people will treat you in the future.

The chain reaction often looks like this:

• Thinking: “Why is X giving me the cold shoulder?”
• Worrying: “Are they starting to lose interest in me?”
• Obsessing: “He said, ‘love you’ instead of ‘I love you’ this morning when he left. He must be upset about something.”
• Predicting: “It was his turn to plan date night this weekend, he’s probably going to cancel now”.
• Dictating: “I’m just going to go ahead and plan it myself, otherwise it’s not going to happen.”

This was me earlier this year.

Anxious attachment had me in a chokehold and it wasn’t just limited to romantic relationships.

I spoke with a friend about my fears that my relationship would end if I wasn’t there to fill in the gaps.

Her response: “Well then, let it fall”.

So, that’s exactly what I did.

2 weeks later I was single and I vowed to make a conscious choice every day to redivert my attention back to myself.

Acceptance is the key to peace

You don’t get to decide how people treat you.

Instead, you get to see how they operate and decide if you want to participate.

When you’re no longer influenced by what people are doing (and not doing) thinking, feeling, and acting, that’s how you reclaim your power back.

Remember, people will usually tell on themselves if you give them the opportunity to.

We waste so much energy trying to get others to live up to our expectations.

Subconsciously we’re trying to create a safety net around us and sometimes it’s easier to deflect away from ourselves and focus on other people.

When you no longer carry the weighted responsibility of the people around you, it encourages you to look inward and concentrate on how you feel.

It helps you reaffirm your values and form a better relationship with yourself and the important people in your life.

The law of detachment

To reap the benefits of the ‘let them’ theory you can use the law of detachment to reprogram your mind.

To manifest the life you desire, you must release attachment to the outcome itself and the path it takes to get there, to make space for abundant possibilities.

The less you try to control something, the more you will attract it.

This is how the ‘let them’ theory can be applied to all things such as everyday situations, work, relationships, and friends.

• Your partner no longer wants to commit to you? Rather than holding on to anger and resentment, let them go. You cannot make someone choose you but you can make room for someone who does.
• You have a friend who continually makes bad choices despite the advice you give them. You can spend time feeling frustrated trying to rescue them or you can let it happen. You’ve now given someone the freedom to be themselves and develop accountability rather than becoming dependent on you.

Letting go is not about removing boundaries or stopping yourself from taking action when necessary.

It’s about choosing who and what you give your energy to, in an attempt to operate on a more peaceful and meaningful vibration.

When you change your vibration, you change your life.