Summary

The article discusses the author's discovery and exploration of a phenomenon called "synchronised peeing," where individuals living in apartment blocks find themselves using the toilet simultaneously, leading to insights about human interconnectedness and the influence of cosmic energy on daily life.

Abstract

In "How Synchronised Peeing Changed My View Of Life," the author humorously recounts their experience with a peculiar occurrence they term "synchronised peeing," where they consistently find themselves needing to use the bathroom at the same time as their neighbors. Despite the initial skepticism, the author's investigation reveals that this phenomenon is not random but possibly influenced by cosmic energy grids or leylines, suggesting a deeper level of human interconnectedness. The article posits that these synchronized wake-up calls serve as opportunities to receive messages from the "Universal energy," with the clarity of these messages being influenced by celestial events like the new moon. The author emphasizes the importance of heeding these wake-up calls and the benefits of not ignoring them, including heightened creativity and energy. The revelations from the synchronised peeing experience culminate in three key life lessons about the interconnectedness of humans, the importance of recording insights, and the value of embracing the natural flow of life.

Opinions

The author initially anticipates judgment from readers for discussing the topic of synchronised peeing, which they differentiate from any sexual connotation.
They humorously self-appoint as the world's first synchronised peeing expert, suggesting the potential for this to be a notable achievement in their life.
The author believes that the synchronised peeing phenomenon is not a coincidence but a real occurrence worthy of investigation, as evidenced by their own experiences and discussions with friends.
They draw a parallel between the synchronisation of peeing patterns and the synchronisation of women's menstrual cycles, implying a natural, energetic link among people.
The article suggests that humans are connected to a universal cosmic consciousness that may dictate optimal times for activities such as waking up to use the bathroom.
The author opines that ignoring the wake-up calls, especially after 4:45 am, leads to negative consequences like tiredness and irritability, while heeding them results in increased energy and creativity.
They advocate for writing down any insights received during these wake-up calls to avoid losing the messages upon returning to sleep.
The author concludes that embracing these natural wake-up calls

How Synchronised Peeing Changed My View Of Life

Disgusting. Revolting. Eww and Eww again. Sharp intake of breath. How could she? What the hell does she get out of it? I can hear you all tutting now as you judge me.

But, that’s because you’re thinking about some weird sex game. Actually, I’m really not sure if there is such a sex game but as there is nothing new under the sun so I suspect there is a facebook group for it somewhere. I digress, so let me get back on track.

Sex peeing is not what I’m going to talk about. In fact synchronised peeing has nothing at all to do with sex. Well, not in my life anyway.

Synchronised peeing is a name I coined to describe the strange weird phenomenon that occurs when you live in an apartment block and suddenly you find yourself peeing in sync with your neighbours.

What?

Yes, it’s true.

I have studied this phenomena at great length and who knows I could possibly be the world’s first synchronised peeing expert. Now isn’t that something to put in your eulogy!?

I can picture it now, my daughter’s face turning crimson as she reads out the words, ‘My Ma was the world’s first expert in synchronised peeing. Long silence’

It would seem that no matter what random time you think you select to get out of bed and go for a pee in the middle of the night your neighbours need to go at exactly the same time.

What! I hear you say again. Yep that’s right. It’s strange but true. It doesn’t matter what time of the night I wake up to go to the toilet, my neighbour is there polishing the porcelain at the same time. I know this because not only can I hear them flush the loo I can actually hear them peeing too.

At first I thought that this was just some weird random event but when I moved to another apartment block and the same thing happened, I knew there was nothing random about this and that there had to be more to it.

I decided to brave the subject with a close friend of mine who also lives in an apartment. To my surprise I discovered that he too had experienced the same synchronised peeing phenomenon.

At this point we realised this was not a random occurrence, this was a real phenomena that needed further investigation.

Miss Marple Investigates

I channelled my best Miss Marple and set about doing a few random unscientific experiments and here’s what I discovered.

I didn’t pee at exactly the same time every night. So the chances of me going to the loo at the same time as my neighbour were really really remote. I’ve added an extra really for emphasis because I’m not a mathematician and I really can’t calculate what the odds are, but if I were a mathematician I would probably try and impress you by saying that if we assumed we slept from 11 to 7 that would equal 28800000000000 nanoseconds.So the chances of us both choosing the same nanosecond to pee are pretty remote and I just know it has to be really, really, improbable.

I asked myself some really important questions like: Why or how could we be syncing our peeing patterns? The answer was simple. In the same way that women often sync their cycles, neighbours somehow sync their sleep/pee cycles.

Were we all energetically linked to a universal cosmic consciousness that dictated what was the optimum time to get up and pee?

We figured out that just like we have power grids of electricity in our cities we also have natural power grids spanning the earth. These are called leylines. The leylines of energy clearly contain a code which can be picked up by humans and which determines your exact wake up and pee time.

The Matrix was suddenly becoming less fantasy and more and more of a reality. I delved deeper into the topic to unearth the why behind these seemingly random wake up calls. Surely there must be more to synchronised peeing?

I paid more attention to the wake up calls and tested out a few more unscientific scenarios.

This is what I discovered:

The Big Reveal

The purpose of the wake up call was not really to get up and pee but was an invitation to tap into the Universal energy and channel whatever message was being broadcast. Messages were stronger around the time of a new moon, which could quite possibly explain why the Ancients linked the new moon to creativity and new ventures.

The type of message you receive depends entirely on the type of person you are. For example, I’m never going to pick up a message on mathematical topics because it means nothing to me and I have zero understanding of mathematical equations.

You must always write the message down because once you go back to sleep the message gets deleted permanently.

If you get a wake up call from 4.45am onwards you have to get up and you have to get creative or do your work. On many occasions I went back to sleep. I told myself things like it’s ridiculous to get up now. It’s far too early. You will be super tired if you don’t go back to sleep. Little did I know how wrong I was.

It turned out that going back to sleep is a recipe for disaster. Not only do I feel tired all day I also feel very irritable and grumpy. It’s almost like I’m being punished for not getting up. It’s a weird feeling, it’s like a part of me never came back from the land of sleep and as a result I can’t function properly.

At first it used to bug me and if I’m honest I felt a little resentful about not going back to sleep but gradually I came to understand that it was for my benefit and it was kinda like a miracle morning 10x.

Trying to take a nap or a rest just didn’t work. I had to wait till I went back to sleep again so that I could reconnect all parts.

When I get up and go with the flow it’s like I have been given one giant energy boost that keeps me going all day. So until further notice I will be going with the flow wherever it may lead me.

3 Important Lessons

So there you have it synchronised peeing taught me these 3 very important things:

We are all part of the matrix and we are connected in unimaginable ways.
Always write your messages down.
Never go back to sleep after 4.45am.

One last thing. If you can just learn to get out of your own way and go with the flow (or pee) instead of going with what society has taught you to do, life can indeed be beautiful and extremely interesting.

That’s all for now, thank you for reading.This is Caryn your resident synchronised peeing expert.