How Suffering Shifted Me Into a Space of Love

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Abstract

37a">We should be taught this as kids. To have a moment of peace, a moment of quiet. To ask ourselves what are our own thoughts? What is it that we feel uneasy about? What seems so simple can lead to peace of mind.</p><p id="c9ab">For the first 20 years of my life, my mind operated in fear. I was carrying a lot. I was carrying the trauma of others. People thought they were helping me by telling me <b>what to think</b><i>.</i> They were actually hindering me because, in turn, I didn’t know <b>how to think</b>.</p><p id="2c16">You know I was naive enough to believe that pleasure would fill me. I saw that everyone around me was chasing an outside source to fill themselves. Is that the missing piece? I thought to myself: How will I ever be enough? What is the right amount of validation to make me happy? How many people do I need to be lovable? There is no such thing as a missing piece. How can you fill something up that was never empty?</p><p id="f2b5">We believe that life is broken up in single moments. When it’s a continuous moment. Learning to see it as the entire ocean but not a single drop as water teaches me suffering is one side of the coin. Find to accept both sufferings and love and your consciousness will always shift.</p><p id="d597">Learn to find lo

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ve in fear and don’t fear love. I wish we could all avoid suffering and it wasn’t necessary to be conscious. At one point it won’t be needed to practice consciousness. Find a practice in the tiniest opportunities. Because if you make every day your practice you don’t need to suffer.</p><p id="bc4f">I’m participating in the conversation of A Shift in Consciousness a collab with <a href="undefined">Carmellita</a> and <a href="undefined">Yana Bostongirl</a>. You can read about it here.</p><div id="e313" class="link-block"> <a href="https://carmellita.medium.com/a-shift-in-consciousness-join-the-conversation-with-yanabostongirl-and-carmellita-8264c2cc0124"> <div> <div> <h2>A Shift in Consciousness — Join the Conversation with YanaBostonGirl and Carmellita</h2> <div><h3>Have you experienced a shift in consciousness or a shift in your awareness? Let’s share our experiences.</h3></div> <div><p>carmellita.medium.com</p></div> </div> <div> <div style="background-image: url(https://miro.readmedium.com/v2/resize:fit:320/1*52koCsot2LuXaAaSYGfaIw.png)"></div> </div> </div> </a> </div></article></body>

Turn your suffering from a story into an opportunity

I’d like to believe that suffering isn’t needed to grow. It doesn’t have to be. However, we do live in a world that has it. I try to use it as an opportunity for growth.

I remember the first time I became aware of my suffering. I was overwhelmed by the pain of my thoughts. Insecurities, traumas, and uncertainty. Unable to bear the pain, awareness peaked in. What is awareness even a sliver of it throughout a lifetime of pain? A window of peace. A small window but a window nonetheless.

This opening was enough to change the course of my life. Little by little I instilled presence in every moment of my day-to-day life. What started as a small breath of fresh air turned into being able to sit in silence for an hour a day.

We should be taught this as kids. To have a moment of peace, a moment of quiet. To ask ourselves what are our own thoughts? What is it that we feel uneasy about? What seems so simple can lead to peace of mind.

For the first 20 years of my life, my mind operated in fear. I was carrying a lot. I was carrying the trauma of others. People thought they were helping me by telling me what to think. They were actually hindering me because, in turn, I didn’t know how to think.

You know I was naive enough to believe that pleasure would fill me. I saw that everyone around me was chasing an outside source to fill themselves. Is that the missing piece? I thought to myself: How will I ever be enough? What is the right amount of validation to make me happy? How many people do I need to be lovable? There is no such thing as a missing piece. How can you fill something up that was never empty?

We believe that life is broken up in single moments. When it’s a continuous moment. Learning to see it as the entire ocean but not a single drop as water teaches me suffering is one side of the coin. Find to accept both sufferings and love and your consciousness will always shift.

Learn to find love in fear and don’t fear love. I wish we could all avoid suffering and it wasn’t necessary to be conscious. At one point it won’t be needed to practice consciousness. Find a practice in the tiniest opportunities. Because if you make every day your practice you don’t need to suffer.

I’m participating in the conversation of A Shift in Consciousness a collab with Carmellita and Yana Bostongirl. You can read about it here.