How Silence Can Give You The Clarity You Need To Set Your Goals

In five days, you can change more than in your entire lifetime.

It took the tuck-tuck precisely twenty minutes to propel up the mountain and arrive at a small green gate with the words “silence please” slapped on it.

Those were the exact words I had scribbled in my journal on the evening of Saturday November 25th, 2017.

I was sitting in solitude in a room lit by two flickering candles. Outside, the night sky poured its torrential rains on a sea of green forrest. I was in an ancient temple, on top of a mountain, a few hours north of Kandy, Sri Lanka, alone, with twenty other strangers who’d come here for a week of silence.

I wasn’t really sure what I had signed-up for.

A week in silence seemed impossible to me at one point in my life, but somehow, I felt the genuine need to be there.

I knew my why. It was simple. I wanted clarity.

Clarity on what to do next with my life. I was unhappy with the direction of my career. I felt unfulfilled and restless and I wanted to feel alive again but I wasn’t sure how to relive that feeling. All I knew was that my life was drifting in a viscous stream and I didn’t know how to swim out of it.

So I figured time away from the office, the desk, the social connectivity and the pressures and expectations of society would help me figure things out.

And it did.

“You are all different now. The person who came here five days ago, is not the same person sitting here today. In five days, you can change more than in your entire lifetime. You will be a different person going back out.”

Those were the words voiced by our Monk on our final night at the silent retreat.

In five days, you can change more than in your entire lifetime.

Yes, you can.

I cannot say that I walked out of the retreat a changed man, but I can confirm that I stepped out of it with a renewed sense of peace and purpose. Through the passage of time, the carousel of swinging emotions, the ritual of nightly journaling, the frustration of attempting to calm a revving mind and the unexpected stillness that emerges from it, that clarity I so longed for gradually unfolded itself, bit by bit.

The (Short) Story: From Silence to Clarity to Goals

Through silence I found stillness, and through stillness I found clarity. And through both, I set three goals.

First and foremost, I realized that there was something magical about being in nature. After six silent days in the sounds of nature, I felt calmer, healed and restored — and somehow, full of positive energy.

And so I set goal #1: I want to spend more time in nature.

In silence, I observed my thoughts. In silence, I learned that the most important people in my life were my mom, dad, brother and sister. Because they were the first people I thought of and worried about. The first people I wanted to call after the week of digital detox; to see and hug and make sure they’re OK. It became clear to me that — due to my university studies abroad and several years of expat work experiences in foreign countries — I had spent so many years adrift, away from my family and I missed them.

And so I set goal #2: I want to be closer to my family again.

But the biggest win for me was this: silence surfaced the innate power within me — and all of us — to control. The ability to control our mind, attention, emotions, and reactions. The power to focus our attention, thoughts, and beliefs on what we consciously want.

We all experience conflicting thoughts of self-doubt and self-belief. Of fear and courage. Of negativity and positivity.

Silence opens the mental space for your to shift your focus and empowers you to confidently direct your attention on the thoughts you please, and re-affirm them until they become your reality.

For years I had spoken of my intention to try and build my own business, and for years, I never dared to take a leap of faith. But silence unshackled me. It introduced me to the incredible power of the mind and the role we can consciously play in observing it and affirming it.

And so I set goal #3: I want to create and launch my own project.

I landed back from my trip in the second week of December and I set myself an 8-month deadline for my resignation from my role.

I saved all the money that I could, and by late summer I had resigned. I flew home and spent three precious months of quality time with my family. I then traveled for three months in Central America, hiking through the jungles of Guatemala and the beaches of Costa Rica, gazing at sunrises and sunsets and following the stars. And finally, in April, I made the biggest leap forward and launched my own brand — related to what inspires me most in this world — the sea. We raise awareness about plastic pollution and proving eco-alternatives to everyday plastic items.

The Takeaway: It’s Not About The How, It’s About The Where

I did not have all the answers. In fact I didn’t have any. I didn’t even have the faintest idea of what business I wanted to create.

I just figured out where I wanted to take my life — nature, family, creation.

Silence helps you escape the noise. A prolonged period of it can elevate your consciousness and self-awareness to the level at which you see and think more clearly. Use this clarity to set the direction of where you want to go — where you want to take your life — for the next year or two.

Allow that silence to resurface your self-confidence to believe that you will figure out the how as soon as you commit to the process of doing so.

You need to be moving towards something in life — a goal, a direction or destination. Don’t dwell on the details, just get started. How you’ll get there is something that will unravel as you begin the journey towards that destination.

As the new year approaches, I urge you to take some time to reflect on your life and ask yourself — am I living life on my own terms? Look back on your life three years ago. Are you today where you wanted to be three years later? If you’re not there yet, then are you at least headed in the right direct?

Are you just drifting? Or are you actively swimming in the right river?

Silence is blissful — it can give you the clarity you need to set your goals, and the conviction to pursue them.

But you don’t need to go on a silent retreat all the way in Sri Lanka to find the answers that lie within. You just need to give yourself the time you deserve to be with your mind, to look within, and engage in a meditative experience.

You can sit in silence. You can journal. You can go for a walk in nature.

Whatever you choose to do, the most important thing is that you disconnect from the digital world for a little while — even for just one day — to get uninterrupted clarity on your current status in life.

You owe it to yourself and your future.

In five days, you can change more than in your entire lifetime.