How Sexual Arousal Opened My Wife to Trying Clothespins

I found a way to share my desire and was surprised at her willingness to experiment

Trying to explain a sexual desire to my wife was always agonizing. It was always easier just to fantasize over a porn clip or sexual act without talking. I know I’m not alone among men or women trying to share with close-minded husbands.

Opening up about what seems like the most taboo things in your mind creates vulnerability and increases the risk that you’ll face rejection. That seems odd, even in long-term relationships. Yet, the person listening to us can misunderstand what we’re trying to communicate or we don’t know how to make a desire sound pleasurable.

In my own awkward way, I mentioned that I’d like to try something new as we got ready one night to enjoy a sexual time with each other. I had music playing and the candles were glowing while I laid a couple of clothespins on the nightstand.

I was open to clothespins because sexual exploration for me wasn’t new personally and I had seen plenty of BDSM porn scenes.

Porn has a way of opening us up to new ideas, but it also has a way of creating unrealistic scenarios. Usually BDSM with implements like clothespins is portrayed as something dark and terrifying. Since my wife doesn’t like porn, we weren’t going to view clips and especially not ones of performers with terror etched in their faces so persuading her to try them was up to me.

This wasn’t our first foray into kink. I had introduced fur-lined wrist cuffs and a flogger with soft straps. She liked the experience and she also enjoyed being tied while in bed wearing a blindfold with me teasing her. The restraints and unknown triggered powerful orgasms in her.

But the clothespins left a question mark in my imagination. How would she respond since she’s petite and sensitive to my touching her? She often moved my arm from near her breasts while lying in bed with her because she didn’t like the pressure.

She was willing to try clothespins, however, in this erotic setting. That’s the power of arousal.

Suggesting something diplomatically over the course of time, whether that’s a few weeks or months, lets the idea sink into your partner’s radar. Even joking about it in an off-handed way could be helpful or framing it in a positive way like, “I’ve found something exciting that could be an adventure I’d like to explore with you.”

That night we kissed, I massaged her and I could tell her arousal level was high as I tied her wrists, ankles and then blindfolded her. I took two wooden clothespins that had a soft grip and moved them slowly over her body and gently opened and closed one on her breasts.

I moved them lower to her vagina and teased her with it, sliding it over her flesh. When she raised her hips then that was a sign her arousal was kicking in. I kissed her on her pussy and then used one clothespin on her labia, ready to take it off if she showed discomfort.

She was fine so I used the second one on the other side and slowly ran my hands over her body. I kissed her from her lips and ears to her breasts. Meanwhile, she raised her hips more quickly.

There was never any sign of discomfort. I kissed her on her pussy and pursed my lips on her clitoris and she lost it in a wonderful way with a rocketing orgasm. As it kicked in, I removed one clothespin and then the other, untied her hands and ankles and then held her closely.

The waves went through her for several minutes while I rubbed my cock against her and enjoyed my own orgasm.

Then as she settled down and we hugged I asked her how the clothespins felt. She assured me they were fine and felt like a warm pinch. She agreed that with the arousal she felt that the sensation enhanced her overall experience.

Arousal is a stage of sexual excitement that opens us up to so many possibilities where the “vagina becomes more wet because the glands produce lubricating fluids. Your clitoris and vulva swell up as your blood vessels dilate,” as noted in a Healthline write-up.

It’s an example of the mind-body sexual connection that can set the stage for wonderful exploration and give a couple a rich, shared experience.

My wife is not a kinky type in the popular sense of the word and is quite conservative in her attitudes and how she dresses. Yet, she enjoys new experiences if they’re framed in ways that are adventuresome and positive. She’s a woman who’s sensitive to touches on her body, yet she’s taken clothespins on her labia and her breasts when she’s aroused.

Her experience also shows the difference between porn and my real life. In BDSM porn, the thrill is often instilling fear while in a real-life relationship the issue of trusting the partner and opening up to a new emotional and physical experience is the goal.

It starts with risking vulnerability as you share desires and find little ways to build the arousal.