How Saying “Hi” to Strangers on My Walks Changed My Life

Kat OM Life, Spiritual Mindset Resilience Coach Raising Consciousness and Expanding Awareness Helping you to be more heart centered and resilient in this world

I’m a New Yorker. Born the Upper West Side of Manhattan and grew up in Queens. Despite what you may have heard, New Yorkers are good-hearted people once you get to know us. We just don’t go around saying “Hi” to strangers. If you live in a big city like L.A., Tokyo, London, Rome, or Paris, this may be a common practice for you too? We’re conditioned to walk through the streets avoiding all of the people asking you for money, the scammers, and the people trying to sell you something. We look straight ahead and get where we’re going. It’s not that we’re not friendly here in New York, but we don’t go out of our way to be friendly. We mind our own business, keep to ourselves, and we take pride in doing that.

Women, in particular, don’t say, “Hi” in New York, because there are so many creepy guys on the streets who tell you to “smile” and whisper crude things in your ear. So you learn to put your earbuds on, keep your head down, and keep walking to drown them out. I remember a sweet young fresh-faced blonde intern from California at P.R. firm where I worked saying, “I know New Yorkers don’t say, ‘Hi,’ but I’m going to say, ‘Hi’ anyway.” She came back from lunch the following week and told me, “I’m not going to say ‘Hi’ anymore. I said, ‘Hi’ to a guy, and he just followed me back to the office until security stopped him.”

However, I discovered the park is different, especially early in the morning. I notice the people who come to the park in the morning are different from the people who come in the afternoon. The people who come in the morning are there to exercise. You’ll see the walkers (like me), the runners, rollerbladers, and cyclists. The afternoon crowd, you’ll find more people who come to the park to hang out. They sit on benches, they bring blankets and chairs, drinks, and food.

The exercisers are there to stay healthy and fit. You don’t see women being harassed by the morning fitness crowd, as you would later in the day when you see a group of guys hanging out in the park. I’m in my 50s now, so it doesn’t happen as much anymore and I’m happy about that.

I have been walking in this park by the bay in Queens for the last eight years. I like most people in the park, do my daily walk, get back in my car, and go home. But recently, I started saying “Hi” to people on my walk. I teach from a book called A Course in Miracles every other Tuesday night via Zoom to a small group of women (men are welcome too). I was telling the group how each of us has the power to shed more light on the world because the world desperately needs it.

I shared a story from a few years back with them about a friend who took her life. In memory of her, we handed out roses to bring attention to suicide prevention and depression awareness. I handed out roses in the park. What took me by surprise was that nearly half of the people I handed out roses to told me they too suffered from depression. It meant so much to them to know there are people out there who cared about people suffering from depression.

I wish we had kept up with the event annually, but I guess I don’t need anyone else; I could always do it on my own. But it’s always more fun and meaningful doing it with a group. But teaching the Course and remembering the day we handed out roses made me start saying “Hi” to more people in the park on my morning walks. Because you don’t know what people are going through, and just by saying “Hi” to them could lift their spirits.

It wasn’t easy at first, but it’s gotten a lot easier now. Saying “Hi” to people on my walks has made my walks even better. And I already love my walks in nature along the bay. There must also be a difference in my energy because I notice more people saying “Hello” to me first. If you follow the law of attraction, I am definitely attracting more people saying, “Hi” to me as well. Which made me realize, that maybe a guy I was dating a few years ago was right? I did have resting bitch face.

I was meeting him at a cafe in Midtown Manhattan. I was crossing the street and saw him in the window waiting inside. When I got there he said, “You’re a doll. But did you know you have resting bitch face when you walk down the street?” Hence go back to the first paragraph of this story on why so many New York women have resting bitch face. I wasn’t offended, but we did break up not long after that.

So back to the park and saying, “Hi” to strangers during my morning walk. A few of the things I’ve learned are that Muslim people so far are the friendliest. They give you the warmest smiles back. Even the guy some people would say looks like a terrorist with his black turban, dark aviators, and beard, smiled back and gave me the “peace” sign as he jogged past me. Seniors love when you say “Hi” to them. I stop and say “thank you” to the park workers and volunteers for keeping the park clean and beautiful. They always appreciate it. I now stop and talk to one volunteer every morning named, “Joe.” An older gentleman who calls me, “young lady.” Joe is out there every morning cleaning up debris from people and nature that have collected in the nooks and crannies on the path. Joe likes to tell me whether I made good time or not when I pass by him on my way back out of the park. Sure, there are some people who don’t say “Hello” back. So you wish them well. You don’t know what they’ve been through. But the ones whose faces light up make your day.

There was one guy who mistook my, “Hi” and wanted to get to know me more. And that may happen to you. Don’t let that stop you if you want to try incorporating this into your daily habits. Say “Hi” or “Good morning” to seniors, moms with kids, women, families, etc. People you feel safe saying, “Hello” to and don’t feel guilty for honoring your boundaries.

The other day, I saw a little girl wearing a pink and white Mini Mouse shirt. Her mom had long dreds and was pushing a navy blue stroller. They were looking at a meadow of wildflowers on the path and then moved on. I was walking behind them and reached down to pluck three pink clovers (something I’ve been doing weekly lately and giving them to my mom. She likes to put them in little mini vases around her apartment). I caught up with the mom and little girl, bent down, and gave the little girl the three little pink flowers. The little girl exclaimed, “flowers!” The mom smiled and said, “Thank you!” It’s moments like these that the old me never experienced just going to the park minding my own business. These moments now bring so much joy to the start of my day.

All of this may sound corny to some people. But as I see it, we can sit around and complain that the world is going to shit, or we can get up and do something about it. It doesn’t need to be a big huge effort. Little ripples of joy can make big changes in someone’s life and yours too. As the Course and law of attraction both state, whatever thoughts, perceptions, and energy you put out there will be reflected back to you. I am doing my part to make the world brighter, and in return, it’s become a brighter place for me too. I hope to share this and inspire others who aren’t doing this already to do the same.

Kat OM is an author and Spiritual Mindset Resilience Coach based in New York City.