How Sacred Is It To Marry A Divorced Woman?
“You never really know a man until you have divorced him.” — Zsa Zsa Gabor
“It is better to light a candle than curse the darkness.” — Eleanor Roosevelt
I live in India and I know how people look at divorced women in my country. They show mercy on the divorced men but when it comes to women they are like ‘She isn’t sacred. Leave her. Don’t date her. Stay away from her. She must have done something to deserve this. Oh! I am dating her but I cannot introduce her to my parents. Wow! An experienced woman. Let’s have sex’.
All kinds of senile things you get to witness when it comes to being around a divorced woman. It’s been a few months since I started writing on Domestic Violence, Divorce, Trauma, Depression, Anxiety, and Abusive Relationships. Trust me, people read you attentively when you share your own story. Moreover, it’s not just the women but men too who have suffered trauma and abuse by their partners.
I have closed the comments section of my answers on Quora. I deserve the peace of mind and respect. Some men were coming after me like insane creatures and they tried to bring me down without knowing that I wasn’t born yesterday. I have tasted the dust and experienced indelible pain. I am not going to let anyone decide for me anymore. They could come and bark but my God knows what I was born for.
Divorce or separation is not a curse. Living somewhere where you don’t feel respected and loved is worse than a curse. We all are mature enough to decide for ourselves and I set some morons right away by answering if at all it’s a commendable decision to marry a divorced woman.
Sharing the original answer from Quora to raise the spirit of all broken-hearted, separated, and divorced women in this world. My message to you is that you are not alone. You have God. You have me. You have the support of every spirit that knows you have been hurt, discouraged, and unloved. Your struggles won’t go in vain. I am damn sure those who have put you through this will taste their own medicine.
What do you mean by the DIVORCED WOMAN?
Have you ever looked inside your family? Have you ever asked your mother about the trauma your father has caused her? That’s the story of every house. If there are 1000 good and happy marriages then why the hell nobody is writing a book on them? Why are there more books on damaged houses, damaged women, and domestic violence experiences? Have you ever questioned that?
If someone is not hitting you or a family member have you ever tried to notice the pattern of emotional, mental, and verbal abuse? How could you just label a woman with a divorced tag?
Yes, she got divorced. I am glad that she did. Are you doing some kind of favor to her by marrying her? No. If you are again that puppet who is going to make her life hell because your mother trained you in doing so then please stay away from her.
A mature man will never ask such a question. This question itself is the first sign that women need to stay away from all those men who think like this. This is a red flag.
When men REMARRY younger women than them then why are you judging the women?
I am surprised at the response of those stupid men who are writing about the wrong usage of the 498A act (Dowry Act In India) but never tried to crack a conversation with their family members to know about what all ladies of the house endure in their marriages?
Being silent doesn’t mean that they are happy. Grow up, please. Form a relationship and understanding with females of your houses in a way that they could open up themselves to you. Your wife might surprise the whole family by telling the truth.
So, stop LABELLING WOMEN. When MEN can remarry and ruin the life of another woman why not women get the right to decide for themselves. Be a man with an open, brave and courageous mindset.
*Sharing it here from one of my responses on Quora.
“When people divorce, it’s always such a tragedy. At the same time, if people stay together it can be even worse.” — Monica Bellucci
Gurpreet Dhariwal is the author of Two Poetry Books. Her poetry books are available on Amazon, Flipkart, and BlueRose. Connect with Gurpreet at www.gurpreetdhariwal.com