How Responsible Am I?

A look at how each of us affects the whole

Have you ever planned something with a friend and she doesn’t commit to it or doesn’t follow through? Disappointing, isn’t it?

Or have you been part of a group or organization that decided to do something, but nobody took responsibility for planning and executing the event?

Maybe I am the only one who has noticed people are averse to making a decision. They say things like “I’ll try” or “maybe I can”. RSVP is a foreign concept these days.

I understand the reluctance to commit to something. Everyone is busy. But it is usually more of a self-indulgent attitude. They wait to see if something better will come along or see if they “feel like it” the day of the event.

I was raised to have a strong sense of responsibility. If I tell somebody I will do something, I will do it without excuses. Only a major crisis is an acceptable excuse not to keep my promise.

ADEOLA SHEEHY-ADEKALE issued a challenge in The Honest Perspective that made me think.

I spend a lot of time and energy to be sure that things run smoothly. I keep up with how my grandson is doing at school and look for ways to help him learn. I see that all the bills are paid. Like most women, I see that everyone has clean clothes and gets dinner ready. If I note that something needs repair, I either repair it or remind my husband until he takes care of it. I service my vehicle when that is due.

What happens when people don’t have this sense of responsibility? Sometimes a friendship is strained. Or events never take place. Organizations don’t grow. People in need of help don’t get that assistance.

I know a couple who moved into a nice house. Neither of them had owned a home before. They enjoyed having the house, but paid no attention to small wear and tear and didn’t repair anything. Neither one took responsibility for the repairs. Soon, the little repairs turned into big ones, which they also ignored. The house is in decay and will need a major overhaul before it is fit to live in.

So, how does this relate to society?

ADEOLA SHEEHY-ADEKALE used a quote that struck me hard.

“No snowflake in an avalanche ever feels responsible.” Voltaire

This is true of the parent who doesn’t get involved in his/her child’s education but expects the school to do all the work. The citizen who complains about how the town handles a problem but doesn’t attend town meetings. The bystander who sees child abuse or elder abuse and doesn’t intervene or report it. The passer-by who sees someone struggling and doesn’t offer to help.

All of these people are part of the problem but feel no responsibility for it. I do not advocate the kind of discord this country has seen so much lately. Instead, a gentle assertion of individual responsibility and support helps all involved. Don’t depend on the system to take care of everything. We all need to do our part even in small ways.

If you see a need, decide how you can play a part in the solution. It may not change everything, but it may have a bigger impact than you expect. If not, at least you have done your part and maybe it will start a ripple.