avatarThe Secret Developer

Summary

The web content humorously outlines various archetypes of programmers working from home, highlighting their unconventional activities during work hours.

Abstract

The article "How Programmers REALLY WFH" provides a satirical look at the different ways programmers spend their time while working from home. It suggests that the stereotypical image of programmers being chained to their keyboards is far from the reality, as many indulge in secret eating, consume excessive caffeine, sneak in gym sessions, watch movies, play video games, work on side hustles, or spend time with family. The piece playfully criticizes these behaviors, implying that actual work may not be the primary focus during remote work hours, and concludes with a tongue-in-cheek reminder from management to stay productive.

Opinions

  • The author implies that some programmers rely on sugar highs to maintain productivity, suggesting a humorous yet critical view of their work habits.
  • There is a light-hearted jab at those who frequent coffee shops, hinting that their presence there might be more about the ambiance than actual work.
  • Gym-goers are teased for extending their lunch breaks to work on their physical fitness, with a nod to those who multitask by providing status updates while exercising.
  • Movie enthusiasts are mocked for prioritizing entertainment over work, with a specific dig at those who watch movies during meetings.
  • Gamers are portrayed as juvenile, especially if they mix play with work tasks like coding a delivery app.
  • The article pokes fun at programmers with side hustles, questioning their commitment to their primary job while they work on other projects during meetings.
  • A sarcastic remark is made towards those who choose to spend time with their families instead of coding, labeling them as monsters.
  • The conclusion facetiously echoes the sentiment of managers who suspect that remote workers are not as productive as they should be, urging them to focus on their job.

How Programmers REALLY WFH

This is what they really do

Photo by Good Faces on Unsplash

Working from home as gone on for a long while. Covid sent workers to their bedrooms in droves.

Some of us still stay in the ether between our bed and the fridge, and others will stay slaving at the keyboard.

Here are some WFH archetypes, any seem familiar?

Secret Eaters

How do you fill your day, each long stretch of 8 hours.

Are you solving problems, or is it that you are able to work only with a sugar rush?

Caffeine Bombs

In the coffee shop? All day?

At least you’ve got that great salary to pay for the that caffeine fuel. Go you!

Gym

Some of you nip off to the gym during the working day. Your lunch is slightly longer than might be expected, but at least you’re working on your “guns”.

The pros have a setup that allows them to become out of breath while giving their status update to the rest of the team.

These people, focus cannot.

Movie Addicts

Catching up with the same bang-crash Marvel mess? Can you fit the director’s cut into to that game between meetings?

Just don’t watch that snoozefest, with Benadict cumberfunch

Gamerz

I mean you know you have an RGB keyboard and a edge-lord attitude.

I hope you are 7 years old, if you’ve Minecraft on one screen and your supermarket delivery App you’re coding on the other.

See this image, that’s you:

Second job

Rather than being focussed on your job, you’ve probably got another machine that you’re working on your side-hustle even while in meetings. Get you priorities sorted.

What do you mean, this is being written in a status meeting?

Raise a family

You’re spending your time with you family rather than coding.

You monster

That’s another monster

Conclusion

In effect, none of you are working while WFH.

Says your manager

Get on with it, people

About The Author

Professional Software Developer “The Secret Developer” can be found on Twitter @TheSDeveloper and regularly publishes articles through Medium.com

Software Development
Tech
Technology
Programming
WFH
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