How People Change: Turning Points From Three Sources
How to create break-thru moments in personal change
I don’t know about you, but a life review for me reveals several lessons about how change happens. This essay will look at three primary sources of change so that if you are in need, you know where to look for help. An introduction to self-determination theory will help round out the picture.
Sometimes change is sudden, as when an unexpected reward happens that gives a boost to your confidence.
Or a unique insight is gained after careful study that leads to a new understanding that pushes a plan forward. Or it could be an event that casts a bright light on what had been formerly in the dark.
As a result, new progress occurs. I am choosing to call these inflection points. These are times of significant change in a situation or a turning point in your life.
Most commonly, these significant moments lead to a carrying forward of an already present activity or process. What had been an impasse suddenly produced action and new progress.
There was much reluctance in my change history. Fear and doubt gave me a lead foot. Only self-understanding helped since it generated ideas of where to find the best leverage for change.
Introspection has always been the best tool. And I used it with abandon in my journal writing.
When Change Begins
People often change when they encounter a great deal of pain or frustration. They begin to see that the way they are behaving is not working.
Self Determination Theory
Self-determination theory argues that motivation to pursue a new direction comes from a sense of independence, competence, and connectedness to others. These needs are necessary for self-determined motivation, well-being, and growth.
Independence means a person makes a decision intentionally to change by themselves. Internal rewards drive their behavior.
We enjoy an activity or see it as an opportunity to explore, learn, and pursue personal goals. These internal states are the primary source of satisfaction. If you participate in a sport because you enjoy it rather than to win awards and competition, you are internally motivated
Another major factor leading to change is a sense of competence. You increase your motivation by seeing you CAN do something and that rewards your effort. With a series of small successes, the desire to continue expands.
Building a sense of competence develops hope that change is possible. My experience playing tennis is an example of this. I tried coaching, but it didn’t work (the old saw you can’t teach an old dog new tricks applies). But playing several times a week for many years gave me a sense of competence so that I could play with more experienced players.
Lastly, change is motivated by a sense of engagement with others. Joining groups or doing charitable work is a great way to expand your social surround. I had a recent example of that. I joined a meal-serving group, made a couple of friends, and changed my interest in cooking as a result.
Human beings are social creatures who thrive in supportive social contexts and deeply suffer in isolation.
Enhancing Self-Determination
Self-determination theory is based on one’s ability to meet intrinsic needs and be true to their own values and desires. However, self-determination can be enhanced by focusing on the following:
- Improve self-awareness through self-examination and reflection
- Set goals and create plans to achieve them
- problem-solving and decision-making skills
- Improve self-regulation through mindfulness or other techniques
- Find social support and connect with others
- Gain mastery over areas that have meaning for you
In sum, if you are a change candidate, these identified sources of change may inspire your efforts. Change itself is empowering, I find, for each new achievement gives you the confidence to tackle more. As indicated above, a bucket of changes brings a willingness to embrace even broader challenges.
