How Outer Indignance is Actually a Desire for Self-Justice
Inner piece achieves the wholeness we crave in the world
Often, our rebellious or radical nature is in fact a compensation for a real subconscious part in us that has already conformed. The part in us that had no choice but to cling to something that felt safe. The part in us that still remains fearful.
When we are externally rebelling, we are concealing the part in us that has already abandoned ourselves to appease another. We may not even know we are feeling rage against our innocence. It is significant for us to become aware of this so that we can actually direct intention and attention on the real crux of the matter.
When we attach ourselves so radically to a motto or an ideal, more so out of underlying anger than open-heartedness, what we are really trying to get justice for is ourselves. What we are trying to point out in an externally broken structure is the natural structure in us that has been damaged and needs resurrecting. Often, it will feel much safer and more comfortable to stand up for a cause rather than address the needs of our inner child.
When we have a dormant belief of feeling inherently helpless, it is a reaction to go to war with the outer world to prove our strengths. We try our best to ‘win’ by going against and being indignant against something that cannot, in the end, wage peace with the life-long war having gone on inside our own selves.
The way back home is to acknowledge how separate we have veered from ourselves already, instead of trying to cover it up by being occupied with something that we can attach some logic to, to make it all make sense. Fixing an external structure (or people or things) is merely our subconscious’ way of creating a symbol for something that it itself needs.
We need to use the passion we have for upholding an external utopia, to go within, and garden the unique, individual utopia of our own. Fertile healing in our subconscious landscape is possible.
We must understand that this separation of self and this misdirection of what is misaligned happened before we knew what was going on. We must have the audacity to direct fervent attention to the parts of us who need this guiding hand, the one we’ve used to point and combat outwardly from.
Subsuming and resuming the unconditional love that should’ve been our birthright looks like implementing the birthright now of giving back emotional safety to ourselves. To continue what was discontinued, or what we thought was discontinued only because we developed and held wounds from our human standpoint.
From our spirit’s standpoint, we know our separation from nurturance, nourishment, and wholeness was never a thing. And we can always journey back to being in the stream of this light again.
When young, we’ve followed others in a subconscious way and so have stepped out of the light as they did and as it was mirrored to us. When older and growing cognizant of this felt itch, we’ve again followed others in trying to fighting fire with fire, believing that flame was the reclamation of Light. We now can forgive the ways in which the world has not known better, knowing that we ourselves can now know better.
Being able to stay centered in our inner peace achieves the wholeness we crave in the world. When this happens, what we try to right in the world will no longer come from our own undealt with wounds but will be an extension of our own self-integration.
Ginger Tran is a writer and poet focusing on emotional healing and spiritual growth. She is the author of a poetry book called tourmaline. You can read more of her work over on instagram.