How, After After Being Sexually Groomed By Her Teacher…

One Young Girl Became the 2021 ‘Australian Of The Year’

What were you doing when you were fifteen?

For me, I was still a child in relative terms, protected by my parents, and possibly emotionally stunted. I was also living in a small village where everyone knew everyone else. To a large extent, there is safety in such.

Still, though fifteen, with a little more freedom, my parents knew exactly where I was!

The thing is that at fifteen you are on the cusp of adulthood, but you’re not quite there yet. As such you are little more than a hint of the woman you will eventually be, but there’s still a journey ahead, that first stirring of the heart, that first love, first kiss, with so memories that find a special place in your heart, forever.

The other thing about being fifteen is that you have a tendency to believe that in another fifteen years, you will have reached old age! Such are the thoughts of youth.

Yes, there’s a lot of growing up, and unveiling to do.

So who in heaven’s name would choose to cripple that process? Who would ever seek to taint the flow of discovery, the blooming of womanhood with all its charm and hope?

The very notion that anyone could choose to select any young woman for sexual grooming, especially by a middle-aged high-school teacher she should have been able to trust, sends shivers of dread up my spine.

The idea that any middle-aged man could be so disparaging, so cruel, and wanting, and thieving, is hard to credit.

And yet, that it happened at a private school, a highly-regarded school, is utterly abhorrent, and beggars belief.

But these were different times, a different era, 2010 to be exact.

At that time Grace Tame was attending the exclusive St Michael’s Collegiate School in Hobart.

At that time she was struggling with anorexia.

At that time a sympathetic teacher, Nicolaas Bester seized on an opportunity.

At that time he took her under his wing, behaved inappropriately, set her against her family, and friends, and eventually had his way with her.

At that time Grace’s parents were naturally suspicious, and though Bester was spoken to by the school management, the grooming and subsequent abuse continued.

Eventually, the law caught up with him and reports of abuse circled in the media. ‘He pleaded guilty to “maintaining a relationship with a young person” and possession of child exploitation material. His court hearing attracted lurid headlines. Some suggested Grace was complicit in the abuse.’

The suggestion here is that Grace, a child, was complicit in a grandfather-child relationship. What?

I can think of no fifteen-year-old who would find a naked, middle-aged man, attractive.

He was eventually convicted and sentenced to 2 years and 10 months in jail but was released on parole after serving 19 months.

It’s difficult to get into the head of this particular paedophile. He was found guilty of his crime, and subsequently jailed, and yet, shortly after serving his sentence, he went on to social media to boast about his relationship with this young girl.

And there was nothing Grace could do!

Gagged by an archaic Tasmanian law that banned not only her, but all victims of sexual abuse from ever speaking out, Grace was unable to do much, initially.

Still, the authorities could not have been prepared for her tenacity and determination. She fought for, and won the right to confront her past.

In order to do that, ‘Grace was forced to obtain a special exemption from the Tasmanian Supreme Court to speak out, a costly and traumatic process.’

It was one thing to have the law relaxed for her, but Grace did not stop there, and today she fights for all others whose voices have not been able to be heard, through no fault of their own.

Working ‘alongside journalist and anti-sexual assault advocate Nina Funnell, who created the #LetHerSpeakcampaign in partnership with Marque Lawyers and End Rape on Campus Australia, to change the law,’ Grace has worked tirelessly for the cause.

‘During that time, Ms Tame fought her way through the Supreme Court and became the first woman in the state to be granted a special exemption to speak out and self-identify as a rape survivor.’

This is a young girl who could easily have taken the softer option, and tried to put things behind her. But she’s no slouch. Clever, determined, and articulate, she is prepared to share the sordid details of her past, so that no other child ever has to suffer.

But she wants more. She wants all children and parents to be able to recognize the hallmarks of the sinister, evil quagmire that child grooming breeds on.

There is no doubt this has been a costly journey for this young woman, and her family, but even if her journey was arduous here in Australia, especially in Tasmania, ‘an elite police squad in the US has jumped at the chance to work with her. The Los Angeles Human Trafficking Squad, a world leader in its field, is working with Grace to gain a better understanding of how child grooming works.’

Let’s hope that together they can at least prepare, and educate young people about how to recognize, deal with, identify, and report behavior that feels wrong.

Let’s hope too that we can reach a better notion of how punishment must fit the crime. Nineteen months’ jail for the perpetrator, as in Grace Tame’s case, seems like a slap on the wrist.

And when you think about the effect it had, not just on the victim, but also on her family, her friends, and the reputation of the school, that slap on the wrist shrinks even more.

Points to take away…

Grace Tame is the most prominent Tasmanian face and voice of the #Let Her Speak movement

She became the first female Tasmanian sexual assault survivor to be granted a legal exemption to speak out about the abuse she suffered

She described the ‘Australian of the Year ‘award as a milestone for survivors of sexual abuse.

As such she is a force to be reckoned with. And as she stated:

“There’s no shame in surviving. The shame sits at the feet of predators, of perpetrators of these crimes.”

Read, and be inspired by Grace’s speech at The Press Club, Canberra.

“I just want to sleep. A coma would be nice. Or amnesia. Anything, just to get rid of this, these thoughts, whispers in my mind. Did he rape my head, too?”

For all of these young women who have had no voice, take note. We haven’t heard the last of Grace.