How Nursing School Made Me Obsessed With Personal Development

And why you should be too

When I graduated from nursing school, I was 28 years old. It took discipline and determination to get through the program. But when I realized how much I had changed after becoming a nurse, I became obsessed with personal development. I wanted more.

Here is where my nursing journey led me and why you should take your own personal development journey:

1. My life is about me

Up until I went to nursing school, I was living in a haze, a blur of working, parenting, and surviving. Looking back I think making the choice to go to nursing school was one of the first life choices I made that was for me and me alone.

Choosing to become a nurse made my life about me. With the focus on me, that also meant that I was responsible for the outcome. If I failed or if I succeeded, it would be on me.

I owned it immediately. I was thrilled each morning to face the challenge of creating my own life and achieving a goal that–when completed–would be mine. The “RN” after my name is something no one can take away from me. And it piqued my interest for more.

2. Clarity and gratefulness take center stage

During nursing school, my daughter was a toddler and preschooler. Seeing children in hospital beds and mothers pleading with doctors didn’t turn me away from the profession. Instead, it made me aware of the extreme vulnerability of we share as humans. I realized how precious life is and how quickly health, or life, can be snatched, regardless of age, status, or wealth.

Instead of being annoyed that my daughter was jumping off the back of the couch several times a day, I was grateful she had the ability to perform such a feat. I snapped pictures of grubby handprints on glass doors and marveled when she took a pair of blunt-tipped plastic scissors to a bedsheet.

I was slowly beginning to appreciate everything I already had in my life. My health. My family. Enough rent and grocery money.

My mind had been dropped into a bag of gratitude and was filtering the daily hassles and life tangles through its newly acquired vantage point. I realized that life can turn quickly, things change in an instant, and today is all any of have to be grateful for.

As I became aware of this growing yet odd notion inside that allowed me to perceive life differently than my friends and family, I wanted more.

3. Self-discipline is my friend

I went into nursing with the expectation of getting something out of it for myself no doubt. But I didn’t expect to change so much. I already thought I was a good person because I was. But it never occurred to me that I could be even better.

After owning my choices and watching my perspectives morph and broaden me into a more well-rounded and empathic person, I made another choice. What if I initiated change? What if I pursued personal development with intention?

I began experimenting with self-discipline. Waking up at 5 a.m. daily. Setting sleep limits, food and calorie limits, and exercise limits. Creating monthly, weekly, and daily action items to achieve personal goals such as maintaining a healthy weight and reviving my piano skills. I learned that checklists could be my best friend when it comes to personal development.

Here’s what I did:

• Identified the goal and mapped out a time frame
• Created a list of tasks that would get me there
• Placed the tasks on my calendar

When the time came to “practice piano for 60 minutes” or “eat a handful of walnuts,” I would just do it. I’d perform the task and check it off the list like it was laundry or grocery shopping. There was no arguing with myself or questioning the task at hand because I had already agreed with myself to do this.

I eventually realized that not everything in my life needed to be planned, metered, and measured, but the self-discipline experiment showed me how uncomplicated achieving a goal can be when approached scientifically: goals equal tasks divided by time.

Goal = Tasks / Time

It seemed so simple and made me want to explore more.

4. Progress feels amazing

I was beginning to revel in intentional living. Achieving goals and moving to the next level of personal betterment felt great. I learned to stop overthinking the process of moving myself forward in my life and start enjoying the results.

I realized that I only had to be better than I was yesterday. I didn’t need to make great strides every single day; I didn’t need to alter everything in my life in one flail swoop.

The changes I had made already proved to me that slowing down and appreciating the progress was a big part of the progress. Besides, I have an entire lifetime to better myself. It’s okay to feel the growth and enjoy the daily wins, no matter how big or small.

5. Self-analysis is enlightening

Eventually, I had to ask, what motivates me? Why am I obsessed with being better? With achieving more? With being the best version of me I can be?

The first thing that came to mind was my daughters. I knew, beyond a doubt, that my young daughters were watching my life; they had front row seats.

They saw my actions, they heard every word I spoke about myself and others. Their growing minds and hearts were impressionable to my moods and actions. If I wanted them to be amazing people, I had to hold myself to the same standard.

Their presence in my life influenced me daily to speak positively about the female body and experience, but more importantly to ensure that my personal development efforts weren’t coming off as self-centered. I wanted them to see that mommies–all women–need to make time for themselves and that it’s okay. If it was okay for me to pursue a personal goal, then it would be okay for them to do so too whether it be a colossal educational goal or a roomy individual achievement.

I wanted them to see me struggle through efforts of learning something new and facing demands that would challenge me. They watched me train and run my first 5K and better my time in my second 5K. They saw the first time I grappled with a pair of knitting needles. They observed as I strategically planned my attack when I was diagnosed with breast cancer.

I’ve learned to ask with every new personal development effort, “Why am I doing this?” It allows me to streamline my efforts and goals while remaining true to myself.

6. It’s not about anyone else

As my journey and obsession with personal development progressed, I was accused of being egocentric and greedy at times because I learned to say no to activities and people who didn’t further my life goals.

If my life is about me–and it is–then why would I waste any of it on what other people wanted? It was not my life goal to please everyone, so why should I care if they get upset because I value my time, my body, and my resources? I’ve only got one life and one chance to live it to its fullest, right?

In essence, what saying no to people and activities that don’t align with my personal development goals meant was that I had few (if any) negative people in my life anymore. And with the negative people gone, the supportive ones started showing up.

When I stand my ground and politely refuse offers that don’t suit me, those who can see that it’s a good life choice for me will cheer me on. But those who don’t care about me as a person get upset and pull out of my life. It’s an unexpected win-win.

7. It’s bigger than me

As this personal development journey continues, through an advanced nursing degree, a divorce, and cancer, I’ve come to realize that even though my life is about me, it’s actually more tremendous than I thought at 28 years old.

I went into nursing for myself. I wanted a steady income and a way to learn about health and medical writing. But soon discovered it’s about serving individuals during their weakest moments.

It’s about finding that place inside each person where we click, because we’re both human, both equally fragile and capable.

This lifetime of personal development I have pursued made me realize that I couldn’t serve others successfully without the conviction of being myself and having a solid approach to my own growth and advancements.

Personal development is what has made me me, and what has forced me to never settle for selfishness or ego as motivation. It gives me the security to put myself first in my life while knowing that I have everything to gain by sharing my experiences and knowledge, my empathy and concern.

My success is what I do for others, for my daughters, my husband, and my patients. A doing that would be impossible without my obsession with personal development.

Why wouldn’t I pursue a better me every single day I have breath in my lungs and a beat in my heart? Why wouldn’t you?