How My Baby Ruined My Relationship

Understand the problem. Accept the problem. Solve the problem.

A child's birth is always good, and something that brings the couple even closer, and makes them happier. That’s what everybody is saying and usually, they’re not wrong. But what they never tell you is the brutal truth of how much it will affect you, your partner, and your life as individuals and as a couple.

When a woman becomes a mother it’s magical! She has a whole new person to make her feel full and happy. It is a wonderful time to bond with her baby and start feeling really needed for the first time in her life. But what no one really tells you is that you have many, many, many new responsibilities.

You have to wake up. A. Lot. You have to take care of that little innocent creature because no one else will! You have to stop caring so much (or at all) about yourself for a while and give every bit of your attention there. There will be days you will feel like you’re failing (but most likely you won’t be, I promise). There will be nights you will sleep only two hours. There will be times you won’t remember when was the last time you had a shower or you had the time to properly sit and eat a meal. There will be a lot of moments when you will cry and cry because the little precious angel has decided to not sleep, or eat, or stop crying, or follow your rules… You’re a mother now! Accepting the new way of living is a way to not feel so overwhelmed.

The day your baby is born is the day you meet a whole new person that only you will help grow into a better version of themselves. And that person is not your baby.

That person is You!

When a man becomes a father a man becomes a king. He is admired and loved and respected. But no one really tells you that you will have to carry a family on your shoulders from now on. You’ll have to figure out on your own that you now have way more responsibilities and your life is changing not less than the mother’s life.

95% of men don’t understand that, and they still insist that a baby is a women’s job and they only have to work and bring home the money.

No. Hard. No.

You have to wake up too. You have to feed too. You have to change diapers. You have to help to raise up your child. Is not hers. It’s a child you both have responsibilities for. Just like your house.

It’s 2021, yet I hear people talk like they live in the 50's.

Men bring the money. Women raise the kids.

Men should understand that staying at home mothers is not easy work to do. Sometimes there is no time for cleaning up, cooking, resting… sometimes men can help too. I won’t say a man can do anything a woman can, just like the opposite, no. But I guess it’s not that difficult to wash two dishes and clean up the table or do some laundry, is it? It only takes an hour or so. But it can help your partner rest a little bit after a long day.

But women should also understand that men are not so easy to adapt to this kind of change and they feel pressured. Instead of feeling angry for not seeing anything done, they can always ask for it in a nice way.

Yelling, being mad, having fights daily etc.

These are things that only happens to ruin slowly any relationship.

The key (for everything) is communication. Respect each other. Help each other. Love each other. Your baby is a blessing.

Your feelings are manageable. These problems are solvable.

If. You. Both. Want it.