How My 93 Year Old Grandma Lived A Better Life Than Most People

Get your champagne out and cheers to life

My 93-year-old friend passed away last year (2020). She was one of the biggest inspirations in my life, even now.

I’ve seen many people go to the other side, but she did it differently. She demanded to be taken out of hospice, and back to her well decorated one-bedroom apartment where she’d spent the majority of her life. Then she made sure the people that she loved the most were there before she passed. She waited until they drove from all over the country and said hello one last time. Then she died hours after. She was the most commanding and kind person I’ve known.

She could have stayed on life support for months and months. But she didn’t want to do all of that. She said f*ck the pain (literally). It just wasn’t worth it anymore to be so much pain and she was ready to leave. She chose the timing and place of her death. It was very different.

Life was for her and she was for life.

That's why I thought I’d share some snippets of wisdom from a 93-year-old who actually knew how to live well. Someone who was intelligent, witty, walked and talked up until a month before she passed, popped bottles of champagne, ate steak, sushi, and smoked into her 80’s. It turns out for some of us, you don’t have to be a saint to be happy and old.

This is what I learned from her about how to live an amazing life:

1. Don't stay with a partner who is abusive. Even though she was in love with her millionaire husband, she had to leave because he was toxic as hell. She stayed single for the rest of her life (oh except for a few beaus here and there she told me about). But the headache of men wasn’t worth her sanity.
2. Invest your money wisely. After her divorce, her money could have been used very quickly on frivolous things. Instead, she put her money into real estate-particularly in one of the most lucrative parts of Los Angeles. She was a long-term Los Angeles resident from the time she was a young girl. So she invested in real estate that was in the city she loved. Over time it really paid off. Her homes became neighbors to movie stars and were even rented out to a few. Her property allowed her to live a decently comfy life.
3. If there’s something that you love, go for it. She told me at 60 she had a passion to become a lawyer. Then she thought she was too old to do all of that. By the time she hit her 80’s and it was clear she wasn't going to die anytime soon, she wished she’d just become a lawyer when she was young (60). She told me she lived a life without many regrets, and that was one of them. So she urged me to do everything my heart desired, and to live a passionate life. That’s what living is all about.
4. You’re probably not actually old. That’s the biggest lesson I learned. Until you hit your 80’s, or really start falling apart, then you’re not really that old (according to her). If you can still hear, walk on your own, see with simple prescription glasses, and go to the bathroom all on your own then good for you, you’re not that old! Appreciate the age you are in life, because you’ll look back and realize that you should have appreciated that age more.
5. Always take care of yourself. My friend would get her nails done every other week (french manicure), and massages a few times a month. She’d wake up and comb her hair, and put a bow on her ponytail. She’d dress up, even if it was a lounge day.
6. Never stop making friends. Life is better with friends, period (yes even for you fellow introverts). But in order to do that as an older person, you also have to be forward-thinking because time and societal norms are evolving. Be open to life, and it will be open to you.
7. Drink whatever you feel like (in moderation)
8. Eat ice cream or whatever treats you like (in moderation)
9. Eat steak, forgo the greens (this is what she did, and she was pretty healthy-but everyone’s genes are different)
10. Get incredible health insurance because you’re going to end up needing it for little health scares (like a mole that is cancerous, and just needs to be removed), or a top-notch hearing aid. It’s also important to go to the doctor often when you’re older and get regular check ups. The body is like a car, and you must take it to the mechanic to get tune ups.
11. Invest in a damn good hearing aid so you can hear like a hawk.
12. Have a daily routine. Get up around the same time, and sleep around the same time as well.
13. Help the young folk. Encourage them to follow their dreams. Help them do better. Invest in a business that helps someone out if you have the ability to do so. She had a child and helped them. But she went beyond that and helped so many other people's children too (so you don’t necessarily need to have your own child to be a parent).
14. Family is everything. At the end of the day, your family is important even if they drive you a little crazy from time to time. They’ll give you a boost, and a reason to live, and perhaps if you’re lucky and make some great family bonds they’ll come over and chat from time to time. They’ll help you do little things like read the mail for you when you can no longer see. Family is vital as we age.

I know there aren’t many studies on this, but the oldest people I’ve known (one of them was 100) all had an ethereal quality about them that felt like a fire was within them. If auras are real, then theirs was HUGE.

So how do we increase this zest for life within ourselves? We live life to the fullest. We reach all of our goals, and are ready for more. We follow our passions so we have stories to tell, and regret few things. We eat well. Take our health seriously and stay active. And most importantly we love fully.