How Medium Helped Me Cope with My Loneliness

Finding purpose and connection in writing

In a parallel universe, another version of me is in her honeymoon these weeks.

But that version and the one typing right now, parted ways five months ago. Being the one who decided this, didn’t make it any less painful.

Like one naturally does after heartbreak, I start my stages of grief for that potential life. I fall into the void of despair and don’t even want to get out of it. And the worst part of that void is how lonely you feel inside it.

I have dealt with different types of loneliness since I moved abroad seven years ago. But I would always find a way out of them.

This time is different. This time I feel like it is my destiny for the rest of my life. I am not even trying to find a way out of it.

While not trying, I have to kill my time.

Sleeping, watching YouTube or movies were my favorite time killers.

And one night I am watching Julie and Julia. A movie about a girl who starts a 365 days challenge on cooking and documents it on a blog.

I loved her journey and I get inspired to do something similar. I had all the time in the world now to write a blog, while I was in the void of nothingness. What was I going to lose, my long hours of misery and bingeing?

Had heard about Medium, even tried publishing some tech pieces here. I knew this was the right place for this.

I open a new account because I need it to be a fresh start. I decide to start a similar 365 days challenge like Julie in the movie. For me on becoming fluent in Arabic. I write and post my first story as soon the next day. I need it to be a real start as well.

I get my first claps and comment within an hour. I’m shocked. I was expecting for it to take weeks before anyone would even see my stories.

Writing on Medium as a newbie apparently wasn’t like writing in a void (ah the void, my old friend). I reply with enthusiasm to my lovely comment and every future comment since then. The start feels very real.

I start reading other stories. I find so many fascinating writers and captivating writing. I am learning and getting inspired every day by them.

I dive into my life experiences and start sharing my stories every week. You, my kind reader, seem to like them.

My sleep schedule has been a rollercoaster the past months, but I am now back to being excited to wake up and start the day.

And not only the mornings have changed. My evenings too. I won’t start a self-pity party after work every night anymore.

I am busy writing. I am busy reading, learning and growing.

The busyness is helping. But also the quality of the conversations I am having. I can share my thoughts and feel understood. And I can learn from the thoughts of other writers too.

Medium is like spending an evening with good friends speaking about the deep stuff.

And I’m not writing to make money, to become popular or make a career out of this. I’m writing to share my life journey. Maybe there are stories and lessons in my journey that could be of value to others.

In the morning, the first thing I check on my phone now is Medium. And I have been doing this every morning for the past month.

I think I know what is going on.

I am falling in love with writing on Medium.

Only when I’m in love I cannot wait to wake up and check my phone in the morning. And I feel just like that right now.

I have learned that the opposite of loneliness is not company. The opposite of loneliness is connection, purpose, feeling understood.

And we can find this connection not only in people. We can find it in all areas of our life. We can find purpose in work, an activity, a project, or a hobby.

Writing on Medium for me is the activity that brought back purpose and connection to my life. And this has made me feel less lonely and more understood.

Sometimes I think why didn’t I start this earlier. But actually I was meant to start it now, because now is when I most need it.

I strongly believe that there are no coincidences and everything is part of a divine plan.

But why did God want me to write here?

I’m sure it’s not only to help myself. I’m sure His plan is way bigger than that, because He is the best of planners. And I cannot wait to see it unfold, as I share this journey with you.