Summary

The article discusses the challenges and complexities married actors face when performing love scenes with other actors.

Abstract

The article delves into the personal experiences of an actor navigating the delicate balance between professional obligations and personal relationships when performing intimate scenes. It highlights the range of emotions and ethical considerations involved, from the difficulty of simulating attraction with a disliked partner to managing genuine chemistry with an attractive co-star. The author reflects on the professionalism required to maintain boundaries, the impact of repetition on the perception of love scenes, and the reality of infidelity within the industry due to close physical contact and emotional connections.

Opinions

The author initially feared the implications of love scenes while single but later realized the complexity of such scenes when in a relationship.
Performing a love scene without genuine chemistry is challenging but can be a testament to an actor's skill.
There is an acknowledgment that the novelty and excitement of intimate scenes can threaten real-life relationships, especially if the attraction is mutual and evident.
The author emphasizes the importance of professionalism and personal values in maintaining the integrity of one's relationship while performing intimate scenes.
Despite the initial excitement, the mechanical nature of rehearsing and performing love scenes can diminish any personal pleasure derived from them.
The author suggests that the frequency of affairs in the acting profession is partly due to the nature of the work, which involves portraying intimacy and forming close bonds with co-stars.

How Married Actors Deal With Love Scenes

It is not for nothing that our profession is the record holder in forming new couples.

I remember thinking about this a lot when I started studying to be an actor. I knew I would have love scenes to do, and I wasn’t dating anyone… But what about when I was? How do I deal with a scene in which I have to have intimate contact with someone while already committed to someone else?

The first surprise I had was a little evident, but it hadn’t occurred to me: your stage partner and you will not always have chemistry. My first partner in a love scene was a girl that I hated. It was one of the most challenging scenes I’ve ever done in my life, as the very presence of her made me angry, and in the scene, we were having sex. Have you ever imagined having to kiss someone you are repulsed and, worse, pretending to like it?

It was a good experience, though, to note that I could be a great actor. After all, to simulate pleasure in that situation…

Anyway!

Time passed, I had other love scenes to do, and my partners started to be more interesting. How did it feel? How is it to “professionally” kiss someone who attracts you?

It’s good.

It’s not as good as kissing the same person non-professionally, but if there are attraction and chemistry, there is pleasure too.

I’ve had affairs with actresses who started in love scenes. It works both ways.

So it’s great when it happens, and we are both single…

But what about when you’re dating and forced to kiss someone who attracts you?

That, indeed, is the most challenging situation.

After all, novelty always matters a lot, and it is happening, whether you like it or not. If you do not love the person you are dating and do not maintain the most professional attitude possible, it is relatively easy to exchange couples. That’s why we see this kind of thing happening all the time. As a stunning famous actress in Brazil once said to me, “Most of us are beautiful, intelligent, interesting… And we need to have close contact all the time. It ends up happening!”

Well, it happens.

But it never happened to me.

I had several love scenes during times when I was dating, but I managed to hold on.

One was a challenge. It was a sex scene that I was supposed to do with an actress who had almost been my girlfriend. We were negotiating to go out a few weeks before I met the girl I ended up dating. When we went to do the scene, then, we already knew that one attracts the other. We were aware that there was chemistry between us. And this was noticeable in the looks, gestures, attitudes…

When we started doing the scene for the first time, however, we played with a certain timidity. It’s natural; after all, a million things were going through our minds, and the director and the rest of the cast were watching us. Despite this, we simulated sex that, in my opinion, had become convincing.

It wasn’t the director’s opinion:

DIRECTOR — No, no, it’s not like that! You have to have sex as you do in real life! You have to get the audience excited! They have to think that you are really having sex!

I turned to the actress and asked:

ME — I think we will have to become more intimate…

SHE — That’s OK!

ME — If you think I’m going over some boundary, you can tell me!

SHE — No problem, Ju! You can do what you want!

I won’t go into details, but I did simulate an actual sex scene. The only thing that didn’t happen was the sex itself, but the kisses, the swipes, the lust were there. I was excited, and so was she, as I noticed in her smell, temperature, and humidity.

Yes, I— and she, I imagine — was pleased to do that.

But I loved my girlfriend, and even with a proposal to “deepen studies” with the participation of a second actress, I thought it best to stop there.

The curious thing is that, with time, the pleasure of making this scene is gone. Repeating a scene to exhaustion makes you think about marks (our positioning on the stage), time, choreography… And the fact that there is an audience of five hundred people watching helps to dissipate our lust.

Then there is a time when it becomes entirely professional.

Before that, however, there is an unavoidable conflict. Be professional and know what you want with your relationship. Otherwise, it is quite easy for the scene to come true.